Recently diagnosed with BPD

[ElizabethH14]

Hello to you all out there. Had a breakdown in Nov 14 and after seeing doctors and doctors was diagnosed with BPD in June 15. My mother is suspected BPD and alchohlic will not admit it and hates me. She lives in same village. My father is depressive also an alcho.  I am married have children.

Always had relationship problems and my life was always chaos, but knowing the reason why doesn't seem to help. Having therapy to face childhood traumas but this is very difficult, makes me feel emotionally worse and so keep blocking it all.  Can't remember much of childhood. When I feel bad feel like I've been a naughty kid again and made it all up. There is nothing wrong with you you are just a lyer said my mother then and now. She is not talking to me since I started therapy because I am selfish.

Husband helpful but he doesn't really understand, neither do I. Terrible trouble keeping friends, want to be close, get too close then they disappoint me and then off course I can't trust them and push them away. Now I understand this is all in my head but it is all very difficult. Very depressed but most of the time manage to hide it all behind professional mum facade. Which is off course tiring to keep this false me pretence up and running.

Well I've gone on enough, who has time to read all this????

Hope to talk soon

Elizabeth

[bluemoon5]

hello Elizabeth,

I had time to read it and welcome to the forum. not only read your post but I could identify with lots you said.

its good you are in therapy, it can be a slow process and yes its hard work. but it will get better xxx

have you had a search around old posts there is lots of information about lots of aspects of BPD x

[ElizabethH14]

Thanks for reply bluemoon5. Thanks for reading and for encouragement. Will read through old posts bit by bit. 

[LoveHate]

Hugs

[Saharah Blue]

Welcome to the forum, it is a very long road to healing a traumatic past. I am sorry your mother is still invalidating your experience. I notice that with my mother too, still uses the same line of defense. Just allow yourself to take it a step at a time, there is no quick fix but it is worth all the effort. ((hugs))