bpd and feeling alone

[flutterby]

Hello,

Does anybody struggle with being alone? or being in a social situation and still feeling alone?

I dont really understand but i struggle with it so much, my anxiety goes through the roof I get soo scared.

I hate it, and I feel bad because it makes it hard for my husband to leave the house.

Does anybody have any suggestions or advice on how to cope with this?

I have psychotic BPD and take aripiprazole, fluoxetine and clonazapam

 

Thankyou

[Kara.]

Flutterby the forum is virtually dead, isn't it? 

I had that a lot when I was younger. I think that it has to do with feeling connected emotionally with others, to have a sense of belonging. But how to achieve that? For me it helped me started practicing a form of buddhism in which people actually connect and are quite open to each other. Before that I could feel so disconnected and panicky because it felt as if i was the only person in the world. Therapy has helped me a lot too, but it is hard to allow that connection to happen. It's a continuous battle. 

 

 

[lonelyheartemma]

I'm not really aware of being alone when I am alone, but I do feel alone when I'm with other people. I don't know how to connect with them. I don't know how to start a conversation and if someone tries to start one with me it's usually about my job. I don't have one. That always ends a conversation nicely and then I'm alone again.

I'm sorry I don't know what to do about this. I'm still trying to work it out. But that doesn't mean it can't be overcome.

[Lily-Bee]

You know sometimes we long for something thats in ourselves. When I learned to be my own best friend a whole inside of me was filled and it also made it easier to connect to others.

 

Lily

[Kimboski]

I can hugely identify with the feeling of 'aloneness'. not necessarily being alone............. but an inherent feeling that I'm marching to the beat of a different drum to everyone else.

Of course, I've done the usual things and overcompensated - ingratiating myself to others, being the chameleon, joker, cool aloof guy. Ultimately, non of it really helped in any real or lasting sense. Sometimes it even made me feel worse.

The new knowledge that I have BPD has helped a great deal, as I can now take a mental step  back and see what I am doing.

Good  luck and please, above all else, remember you are not alone!

Kim

[Saharah Blue]

I like what you all write about connection and being better connected to yourself. My social abilities to interact with others have improved hugely. I have had to make more peace with myself and also feel come to terms with feeling less shame in sharing. Now, even in a large office that is highly social, I don't feel award generally.

[Nixie]

When I was a teenager I had many years of feeling and being alone, so I made friends with animals and plants and trees and such.  I had better conversations with them than I ever had with humans.

So now I have loads of plants in my flat, and a bunch of fluffy animals - all of my plants and animals have names and personalities.  They keep me company at home, but when I'm in a large group of people and feeling inside myself, I have to look for something else to keep me calm.  But even just going outside and standing under a tree helps.

So I don't know if it helps, but maybe look around for any plants or anything else living that isn't human, and realise that they might feel the same way as you?  Plants and animals won't judge you, so you can just be yourself and they'll like you.  It's usually humans that usually cause anxiety in other people.  Plants and animals usually do the opposite. 

[Kimboski]

@Nixie   I am the same when it comes to trees. I'm always at my calmest, and just love being in a forest and amongst nature. Very powerful for me.

[Saharah Blue]

nature makes my heart sing too