The wall

[Kimboski]

This summed me up perfectly until quite recently 

Wall

Thank heavens, my wall is back, intact and impenetrable.

Fuck me, that was scary.

'Did I not say, there is nothing for you out there?' it says.

'Fuck off, just fuck off. You ARE wrong'

' Oh, you are so very funny. I do watch you out there you know. You amuse me so much. All hope and fear in your eyes. It's comical'

'As I said, fuck off, fuck off and leave me alone'

'Awww, but have I not cared for you? Provided succour when all hope was lost? Protected you from harm? Whispered gently in your ear promises of calm? And yet time and time again you will try. You do know, one day, when you come running back again.........I simply will not be here. You'll be alone, no mask, no armour, no wall and no Me. What will happen then?'

'Just please leave me alone. Just for now. I beg. I need rest.....I am battered and so very weary'

'Then stop fucking doing it!!!!!'

'Perhaps, one day.......but not now. Just please shut the door and make sure the bolts are secure'

'But Kim, please tell me you knew????? There is no door and there never has been. Not for you'

I pick up my beautifully carved wooden bowl and take a comforting sip. It may well have a point, but I'd never admit it to the fucker. Now I'll sleep, rest and lick my wounds.'