My Anxiety

[DaddyJay]

As mentioned in my introduction, it's been around 6 years since I was last here and in that time I was able to overcome severe depression and am now living a normal, relatively happy, life. I have 2 kids and am currently studying at university, it's been quite the journey to get where I am now. However, there is just 1 thing holding me back; anxiety.

For as long as I can remember I've had issues with anxiety, but I never once sought help for it, even during my period of depression. I would try to ignore it and pass it off as just being something that was part of me that couldn't change, so I lived life as best as I could and pushed through. Not dealing with it, however, has now brought me to this point. After having a couple of weeks off from university, it was time to go back. Last night I started feeling extremely anxious about it and this morning, for the first time in a long time, experienced a full blown panic attack.

For many years now I have been the kind of person who; hides away and avoids social situations, is anxious to meet new people, is not interested in relationships and I constantly feel as though I'm being judged by everyone around me. I just feel so small, I'm 28 years old and even 18 year olds seem older than I do; It's an odd feeling. I don't like to sociialise, even when my family are over, I have to escape for a short period of time because I become too anxious around them.

After my panic attack this morning I decided it's time to finally deal with it, so I'm booked in to see my GP this morning. Hopefully it all goes well.

 

 

 

[DaddyJay]

Update: So I went and saw my GP. He agrees that what I have been experiencing is down to anxiety. He did a questionnaire with me on Generalised Axiety Disorder and prescribed me with 10mg Citalopram and mentioned the possibility of CBT. I am due to see him again in 10 days time. I'm not thrilled about being back on medication but at this point in time I will try anything to help with the anxiety.

Has anyone here been on Citalopram? If so, did it help? Also, what are your thoughts on CBT?

[Kimboski]

Sorry Jay, I haven't been on that.........  but I am happy that you are facing your anxiety head on. please don't take that as a patronising remark, it's meant with the best of intentions.

CBT is a good tool to have, in my opinion. It may not be the only thing you will need in your toolbox but it helps (from experience).

All the best

Kim

 

 

[successful_workthru]

Hi DJ
Congrats on being able to overcome severe depression and are now living a normal, relatively happy, life.
Anxiety terrifies me, I worry about worries. Dunno if it's part of my bpd.

I'm not asking you this question, but can you remember what started the anxiety off, even if it was long ago?
Knowing the source of the problem helps loads.
Anxiety's not something u can ignore, it needs investigating, even if the cause is just over worrying about something that does not warrant such worry.

I'm anxious cos my parents were and 'encouraged it in me'
Can you ask for an extension of your sick leave at uni. I used to work at an office that allocated student grants and we had loads of students who needed extra time off because they suddenly got attacks of anxiety and other mh probs.

By and large, I hide away and avoid social situations, especially people I have to see regular, I find i become a target for abuse and being the sensitive soul I am, it hurts badly.

Ain't it strange, i like meeting new people, its when they get to know me and my funny ways I think they go off me.
I'm not interested in relationships either, but I can assure you, you are NOT constantly being judged by everyone around me, I know this because they are too wrapped up in themselves and their own lives.
I hate to keep going on about me, I'm doing it to help you feel less alone, I am nearly 50 years old and even 18 year olds seem older than I do, I feel like a child in an adults body.
I have constant drug addictions, cos lifes just too crap without. I nearly took myself out last year, but the doctor told me the cocktail of pills, I had put so much time and effort into gathering, were not enough to kill me and I was f***ing gutted, still am.
I'm geting old, ill health to look forward to, plus drug withdrawals, and I dont wanna go into the other bad things I fear lie in wait for me.
My family are no support. They are too busy making themselves appear the perfect family.
My sister asked me to meet her, I told her I am too nervous to meet my first degree relatives.
I am a people pleaser, vulnerable, easily exploited, I believed I was selfish and self centered cos thats what my parents brought me  up to believe about myself.
You take all the time you need to sort out your issues, dont feel under pressure.
Sorry you had the panic attack, I'm sorry your GP fobbed you off with pills and CBT, the cheapest therapy, and I hope they can maybe refer you to PCL or CMHT for further look behind your anxiety, cos I spent years getting fobbed off with meds and only got my dx last week, 3months before my 50th birthday.

I told them I had bpd years ago, when help was available, now, that they delayed dxing me, there is less help available.