sophhee23 Posted June 6, 2016 Report Share Posted June 6, 2016 How does someone just up and leave their love of their love, their soul mate (his words) because of this Spiritual Awakening. He says he's been pretending to be a different person the whole time...how the FUCK am I supposed to process that?????...... the man Ive been in love with for nearly 4 years, isn't the real rob at all, he claims he's been hiding it & that he's a totally different person to what I know. I've only seen the real him recently. I've no clue how I even begin to try and cope with this never mind how I'm going to live with no money What happened my rob???? I had this in my first relationship of 6years, physical, emotional and mental abuse. Swore it would NEVER happen again... This is the 2nd time he's hurt me but I never dreamed he could cause this. I love him so so much. Dead inside. He's played with tormented and shattered my heart. He's done this to me, & hurt my mum and sister. I had to stop my disability benefits when we got together. So he's left me with NOTHING and I've had a call to say that he has very likely left the country and gone back to south Africa. All without saying a word to me. Broken Empty Confused Ruined it won't let me upload the pictures of my black eye bruised check and others Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimboski Posted June 6, 2016 Report Share Posted June 6, 2016 Sophee......... I'm sorry but I don't understand. The love of your life did this to you? /caused those awful injuries? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted June 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2016 Yes. We were together 4 years and he pretended to be someone he was not. He recently admitted that this is the real him..with the spiritual awakening crap. So I have loved and trusted and adored and let in and finally felt safe and loved by someone who was faking the entire time. He's psychotic. hes hidden it well. I don't want to go on I want to die so much I can't do this anymore it is literally one thing after the other all my life and now I will NEVER be able to trust anyone's word again. I just want to go so so much but my mum has begged me not to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimboski Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 The fault and blame and shame lie squarely with him Sophhee. I can't imagine what you have been through; it must have been hell. If you did die please just imagine the pain it would cause others? Sorry if I appear to be thinking this is easy. It isn't. I know how hard it is to fight and fight and fight.........seemingly endless battles. I realise now that I don't want to die.......... I want the pain to end. There are other ways. I so hope you find your peace. You deserve it. WE ALL DO!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Oh, I just want to hug you and tell you that you are heard and seen and worried over, you have always been such a loving person on the forum and if there is anything that I can do to help ease your pain, you only need to message. Please be kind to your healing and hurting heart, Sah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted June 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Thankyou both xx It's just so totally unbelievable. I'm terrified to sleep because I then have to wake to all this again. I actually had a nightmare about it, woke up and thought oh thank god I've got my rob! Ummm no you havnt "your rob' never existed. How in the world does one begin to try and cope with this? Seriously? If I was to get over this I would never ever be able to trust again!! I terrified my best friend for all my life will piss off next. I mean not only have I lost him, he never said a word to me, updated his Facebook status told his mate and left...came back fucked me up and the police believe he's fled and left the country....even typing this it's like WHAT you can't be serious., but yeah I wish with all my heart I wasn't Bpd is just hell diagnosed over 10 yrs ago now along with severe anxiety and depression, fibromyalgia, IBS, OCD and more recently another self destroying problem. I will die alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tray Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 U will get throu this hun its him whos to blame not u. Do not give in. U cant give him the satisfaction of knowing u gave up x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted June 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 So so hard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamalou Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 Yes. So hard. How are things now that it's all sinking in and the dust is beginning to settle ? Please remember you are precious Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimboski Posted June 16, 2016 Report Share Posted June 16, 2016 How are you now Sophhee? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2016 Hey thanku for asking means so much I'm not so good the SNAP people who help with all the financial stuffs are coming in half hour and I'm an anxious wreck u bloody hate what anxiety does to you :(:( stressing so bad. Xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tray Posted June 16, 2016 Report Share Posted June 16, 2016 Take ur time and breathe throu it hun x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophhee23 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2016 im doing me best huni I really am So the house is now a joint tenancy. We're gonna have housing benefit. Umm she's sorting esa and dla and carers allowence, locks are being changed, they are sorting the bills etc and finding out what we owe. Umm..loads of stuff. Still here now xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tray Posted June 16, 2016 Report Share Posted June 16, 2016 It sounds positive. At least u are getting some help. Just concentrate on urself and gettin better x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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