"Unstable Emotions" - is this BPD?

[Phosphorous]

Hi everyone 

I'm new here, looking for answers and hopefully some support - and hope I can also give some!

After nearly 20 years of being diagnosed with depression, a severe traumatic incident finally saw me referred for psychiatric assessment. 

I am 8 months into psychotherapy. My psychiatrist has said I am not depressed but I have "unstable emotions resulting from childhood events".

I've read a lot about BPD and fearfully and silently felt I fit the criteria. During our sessions, the psychotherapist speaks a lot about 'splitting' and 'disassocation' - terms I've heard associated with BPD. But I've never been given an official diagnosis and I am too frightened to ask the question outright. 

While I know, nobody here can diagnose me, from experiences, does this sound like BPD?

From the other posts I've read, I can relate to the need for validation, I really can. 

Hope to hear from you soon. 

p.s. I should add I don't feel I 100% understand what 'splitting' or 'disassociating' is. I have a feel for the idea but I'm finding it very difficult to grasp in the context of my own behaviour - if that makes sense?

x

 

[addy2]

Its hard to say as everyone with bpd is different. My experience of my bpd is when I'm triggered to feel something it's awful I go to the extreme when I'm sad I'm heartbroken devastated and sh same when I'm angry I smash things and hurt myself and then I get depressed I could get depressed over a comment and literally hide for weeks. I live in a constant state of anxiety it never leaves I am literally afraid all the time I never feel safe. Dissociation is when you go of in your head it's a coping mechanism I've been told, as a child I dissociated when I was abused because I couldn't escape and now as an adult I still dissociate. Not sure if any of this sounds like you but all I can say is if you feel emotions really strongly you should ask them straight. I hate my diagnosis and want rid of it but they won't take it away x

 

[Phosphorous]

Hi Addy 

Thanks for replying. 

I can also understand WHY you would want rid of your diagnosis. The stigma. That's why I am so frightened. 

Like you, yes my emotions are very extreme and also very reactive. I often cut myself as the only way to escape them. I feel I will either implode or explode with the intensity. I feel so overwhelmed by my constant mood swings that even I don't anticipate. Life for those I love has them walking on constant egg shells. 

I'm not like this all the time. It all starts with a trigger. 

I hope you're getting help?

[addy2]

Not anymore it seems I am unhelpable I was in trauma therapy but discharged for being too unstable before that I was in dbt  which was awful and did more harm than good. I've been under the mh team for 20yrs now I also have anxiety OCD and argorphobia, depression and cptsd. I think they don't know what to do. Your right the stigma is terrible and especially within the mh team that's why it's hard to get help, I hope you get sorted being triggered is awful I'm the same once I'm triggered that me for ages x

[neilh]

Phosphorous, I congratulate on the bravery you have shown to share your feelings with other's its surely a sign that you are committed to change and finding a recovery path. As for a diagnosis for BPD, I'm sure you realise that this can only delivered by visiting a health care professional. Hopefully you have an understanding and caring GP, if so then this is a good place to start.  For me like many others I was given the diagnosis of Bipolar long before receiving my true diagnosis of BPD. These two diagnosis are commonly misdiagnosed and this in itself causes major issues in itself  mainly because, if you have the wrong diagnosis ,you receive the 'wrong treatment'

Like many others, I was wrongfully diagnosed and given a string of drug's, Anti-psychotic's, mood stabilisers and anti-depressants, all of these made my symptom's worse, indeed it made my BPD dangerously out of control, I lost everything, career, relationship and got massively into debt. I took part in all manor of risky behaviours and experienced shattering mind numbing low's. Lucky after about ten years of devastation I met a fantastic Physiatrist who reassessed me over several month's, The result was that I had my real diagnosis of BPD since then and I have never looked back, six years on and after a long therapy I have recovered and live a full and active life, I know long take any medication.

  Phosphorous, you will be given much advice on forums such as these and know doubt you will be tempted to self -diagnose, my advice is to see your GP or a Mental Health Professional, we are all different and require individual assessment and support.

Good luck and take care.

neilh

[Phosphorous]

Thanks for your replies. 

Neilh - I have been under the care of the CAHM team for 18 months and have been in psychotherapy for 8 months - so yes getting help.

Through this I've been diagnosed as 'emotionally unstable' - I'm wondering if this is the same thing? I'm too scared to ask.

[zenry1213]

1 hour ago, Phosphorous said:

Thanks for your replies. 

Neilh - I have been under the care of the CAHM team for 18 months and have been in psychotherapy for 8 months - so yes getting help.

Through this I've been diagnosed as 'emotionally unstable' - I'm wondering if this is the same thing? I'm too scared to ask.

emotionally unstable personality disorder [ EUPD ] is the new name for BPD did they say this or just emotionally unstable?

could it be possibly that you are displaying strong traits of the disorder but haven't quite met the full criteria?

I was diagnosed with BPD two weeks ago then yesterday after my appointment I get a phone call that says they are now looking at me as having very strong BPD traits and don't want to diagnose BPD just yet and want to give it some time, never thought they would take my diagnosis sort of away!

I understand how hard it Is to be in limbo and to just really not know where you are going or who you really are.

[bpdrecovery]

I have bpd too never knew a thing about it til i got diagnosed  one year ago, i had heard of it but i too was misdiagnosed with depression for 20 years so just thought i had depression.  Finally after a breakdown triggered by a relationship ending in 2014 it set me on the road to receiving a diagnosis i was scared but desperate to know if there was anything i could try to fix myself.  It was hard to deal with the diagnosis and i disassociated with it immediately for around 6 months maybe longer.  Splitting used to get me too but what i understand splitting is good person v bad person no grey area in between i have demonstrated splitting by hating someone one minute to idolizing them the next thats splitting, hope this helps.  I am hopeful as BPD can peak at middle age and can taper off with older age im looking forward to being free! 

[addy2]

I heard that too bpd recovery but I'm my experience I have gotten worse as I've got older a psychologist recently agreed with me that it doesn't really improve with age it's just we get older and less likely to act out as we don't have the energy anymore and we get tired of fighting for help which I totally agree with. I don't ask for help anymore I still sh and feel suicidal a lot and very depressed I have done dbt which was a disaster so now I don't bother with anyone. Sorry to sound so negative but that's my reality of it 

[Ry Sebro]

I think some Psychiatrists don't like to "label" and think it can have an adverse effect mabye.. I have only recently been diagnosed, my previous Psychiatrist didn't diagnose me with a personality disorder but my new one did. Previous said Severely Emotionally Unstable with my Combined type ADHD. Think it depends on who is treating.