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An unreserved thank you


Kimboski

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....... to all of you. I can genuinely say I have met some of the most beautiful people on this forum. Honest, helpful and caring.

It's been a real pleasure, it really has.

But, I'm afraid I have to go.

This is a great place with some fantastic people. But, I have given this a lot of thought............I'm just not at that place yet where I can deal with here.

It just 'triggers' me too much. It feels like my heart is being ripped out to be honest.

the reason?..........I'm ashamed to say it, but I just don't get enough attention. any post I make.......I'm there like a puppy dog waiting for a response.

And the posts that are personal; It feels genuinely awful when I don't get a response.

I sincerely wish each and every one of you all the best.

I'm sure I'll be back.........perhaps when I am not so needy.

Kim xx

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Kim, 

im sorry you feel this way but I 100% get it. I know how exposed, vulnerable and often shameful it feels to post something anywhere and then wait for replies or acknowledgements. I am exactly the same with texts and emails etc. Sometimes I have wasted an entire day being paralysed waiting for replies. It is really unhealthy and perpetuates whatever bad feeling you had at the time anyway! So believe me when I say I understand your point perfectly and I think your honesty in admitting it is refreshing and will probably go a long way to making you feel better about this decision. Hope you come back soon but in the meantime take care of yourself.

cagney 

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Sorry to hear that Kim but I understand. I know it's hard, I too check every 5 minutes on posts that I write to see if I have a response, even with expectations set it still hurts when people don't respond. I try to respond to everyone but with a full time job, part time work, running a household and dealing with my own problems I don't get as much time for this stuff as I would like. I'm also only one person, and this forum needs more people, more opinions, more discussions, something that I can't do alone.

That isn't to put anyone down on here that has been posting, even if you put one post up, if that's all you can manage that's great and it really helps. Every post helps everyone on here and hopefully things get a bit of a kickstart.

Even with that though, forums are by their nature slow paced, there is a lot of waiting and it is perhaps not the best medium for this kind of thing, I thought about starting up a chatroom with set meeting times, however with my schedule at the moment I can't really commit to any kind of set times.

Don't beat yourself up, wanting to feel like your heard is a very natural desire. as I've said a few times before, the only way I found to deal with this is set realistic expectations and don't blame myself I don't get as many/any responses as I hoped.

Take care of yourself and maybe speak again in the future.

Forest

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Haha OK, I will take a look into it.

I used to run an IRC channel, I think that may be a little 90s and possible a bit complex for those unfamiliar with those kind of things. I will see if I can sort something web based.

Forest

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It would be great to ask questions or seek advice and get immediate responses. Think Kim raised an excellent and sort of ironic point when it comes to BPD. Waiting for responses is soul destroying and makes you question yourself to the nth degree sometimes. 

Cagney 

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I will be wearing the purple tie. Start a thread :-).

I would do it but im mobile at the min and about won't be properly online until later. That is if I don't come home tonight and just collapse from exhaustion :-p.

Forest

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Kim - I am not very well at the moment but wanted to come back here specifically to post on this thread.  You have brought so much to the forum, particularly of late - and I know I would be in a far lonelier place without the responses you have given me - so thank YOU.

I really hope you decide to stay - I think most of us here have the issue with being desperate for responses; it is part of who we are.  But please know that often you will be in the mind of others (here and in rl) even if they cannot be here to comment just yet.

I will really miss you if you go - your input and YOU. Please take care whatever you choose xxx

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