bee

Hi! I'm Bee (Beth) and I really just need a friend.

13 posts in this topic

Hi! I'm Bethany, but some of my friends call me Bee and it's just stuck and now I really like it.

I've come here because I have EUPD/BPD, and I've struggled with my mental health since I was 11 now - and now I'm 19. And everyday is just so difficult, but there's no one I can talk to that really understands. I just really need a friend / someone I can talk to.

 

ForestP, postaldudesdad, Ymmat Redler and 1 other like this

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 Hi there I have also struggled with my mental health since the age of six so I feel your pain 

 It's difficult to relate to someone when you're blind autistic attention deficit hyper activity disorder and that was before the borderline diagnosis that was my childhood so yeah I know what it's like to feel socially isolated 

 It's nice that this forum is here though I'm so pleased it here it has saved my life many times 

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Hi

I haven't had experience of BPD so I won't be the best person for you to talk about this with, but I'm sure someone with the diagnosis will. Welcome to the forum. :)

Edited by purpletoupee

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 When I got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder that make me feel more like an Ilion anything else I've ever had 

 I also have bipolar treats so schizophrenic ones and psychosis

 Correction schizophrenic 

 And my psychosis is caused by my brain producing too much super mean it's not chucking just still is a bastard 

 

 Correction it is not drug induced 

 My dictation has went mad tonight and has decided to write crap 

 I did find a lot of comfort and fun I was diagnosed because that way I could go and read up on the condition and I had to drag the diagnosis out of them because I know about having a working diagnosis works and you didn't think I knew anything like that 

 Sometimes being blind is a really handy disability to have because your brain gets overlooked 

 Did you see someone being blind and think oh blindness stupid I had to news for them 

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This might be upsetting (trigger) or something

 

Hi Bee, i was diagnosed with EUPD/BPD earler this year, I find everyday difficult too, its going to take so much work to fix this problem, i am working on it

in one hour my moods can change from one extreeme to the next , its like my mind wakes up every morning and straps itself into a miserable rollercoster

 

within 20 minites of waking up i have streams of tears running down my face, i do not feel very sad just floods of tears

i do feel very lonely and alone at this point

then i will normally shout at things for a bit, very loud and lots of swearing

after this i might do some dancing, i am not a very good dancer but i think it helps with the very violent intrusive thoughts

then maybe some laughing i like to laugh, people tell me i have a good sense of humour

back to some crying again

now i need to find my keys to go out to the local shops, i cant think where i put them so i go mad for 15 minites trying to find them

at this point i am in almost panic rage trying to find the keys, feeling like an idiot for not knowing where they are in the first place

making mistakes makes me feel angry and useless

 

my dog wags its tail, i stroke my dog i smile i feel a wave of happiness go through my mind and body

20 seconds later i see an image of my dog stiff and dead in my mind, the tears start again

this repeats daily

 

 

 

 

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 Oh honey your day sounds awful keep posting here if it helps 

 That's one thing the psychiatrists don't seem to understand is that when you have a mental health problem or on the disorder you feel things a lot more than someone who hasn't got one like the psychiatrist interviewing you for instance 

 If they took some of the medication but the thing is acceptable to pump people feel of them are actually not want to go down the medication route so much if you were actually forced to take what we are  forced to take 

 That would make them think twice 

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Hello Bee

Welcome to the forum. 

I have EUPD along with Major depressive disorder and panic disorder. I was diagnosed with this disorder 18 months ago. 

I completely understand how difficult each day can be. My family and friends don't quite understand me.  

Sometimes it's nice to be able to speak to people who do understand. 

Claire :)

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Hi Bee and welcome to the forum.

I'm sure you'll meet some truly lovely people here. I did :)

All the best 

Kim

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Welcome Bee

great bunch of friends here. I hope you feel able to talk and get the support you need

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On 27/11/2016 at 4:09 PM, bee said:

Hi! I'm Bethany, but some of my friends call me Bee and it's just stuck and now I really like it.

I've come here because I have EUPD/BPD, and I've struggled with my mental health since I was 11 now - and now I'm 19. And everyday is just so difficult, but there's no one I can talk to that really understands. I just really need a friend / someone I can talk to.

 

Most personality disorders can be managed. I have bpd and for 30 years didn't know that I had it all my choices I made I was certain was the right way. I got to 48 and had a breakdown when I recovered I see things differently. I realised that my illness had triggers situations made me act and think in a certain way. Because of that I can't have any relationships it makes me weak it makes me depressed and it makes me not in control and nowadays I'd get done for harassment. Also my behaviour pushes people away it also made me do things out of need to be loved ergo I was used and put up with things that wasn't acceptable. I also realised that I'd put my needs to be loved before my kids who have now got old and see what I done and don't like me for the choices that affected their lives. It's hard but until you see it yourself you can't see it no matter what people tell you. But you can recover and become stable if you remove the things that make you ill that make you depressed. I'm sorry for waffling 

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Hey Bee,

Welcome to The mental health forums. I'm so sorry to learn that you have been struggling with BPD since the age of 11.I can imagine that this is really hard for you at times, It's very clear to me that you are a strong person for managing to live with BPD. Well done for coming to the forums for support, I hope you manage to get the support you deserve here.

Harry

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