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BPD Hard work .....


bpdrecovery

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JUst need to vent a bit i suffer with BPD and PTSD but im sick of explaining it to professionals what is it youv got again? whats that? all the time i get it really gets me down,  My fathers in hospital again (3rd time in a year) im expected to go day in day out regardless how i feel, he even said he didnt give a shit about my silly little illnesses and to get up the hospital the other day :( no one understands me or helps its like i have to pretend im fine.  My bf is constantly nagging me when i go quiet and want peace for a bit why arent i phoning/texting i dont want to constantly be on my phone its hard enough having a wash and eating let alone doing anything else some days.  My sons school are making issues with my son over kid stuff (again) iv got to speak to them tomorrow apparently the pastoral teacher told him today he had better watch it as hes in the racist book wtf!!!! he doesnt even know what for and they certainly havent discussed it with me he is 8 ffs.  He said in a supermarket the other day why is that kid white but his mums black i didnt look straight away then heard the woman say did you hear little red riding hood wtf it took me a few mins to realise she was on about my 8 year old (he was wearing a red coat) i said absolutely nothing but kind of wish i had how dare she ridicule a child over asking an innocent question i explained his dad possibly might be white with ginger hair but come on is this what lifes come to for asking a simple question.  Im ever so angry thats why i try stay at home as much as i can.  Getting no treatment for BPD just pressure to find work pressure to do everything.  My family support worker said i need to get rid of my suicidal thoughts i told her it was a main symptom of having BPD she hadnt a clue just thought i could magicly stop them to make her paperwork look better wtf i want to stay away from everyone they just irritate me with their ignorance.  Sorry im moaning just so frustrated xx

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It sounds like you don't have a minute to yourself. mind you, does any parent!?!

I think where ever you go mental health professionals can be jerks, getting angry with them just makes you feel worse and not every session, do you want to tell them your life story. I ask them to read their notes so they can get down to the therapy bit they are paid for. 

Managing bpd, is tough. Though I admit for me, medication helped but I admit it is not for everyone. as for ptsd on top...well hell! 

Coping with suicidal thoughts is a very personal thing. how we wake up each day; if you slept, is so dependent on how we manage. 

As for an inquisitive son, all you can do is set the facts for him. A big thing in the UK at the moment is transgendered issue. My youngest daughter who is also 8, knows the facts without too much birds and bees buthe she is a very matter of fact tom boy. As she has friends of all ethnic origins it isn't hard to explain. They grow up much quicker than I did in my day! They also understand much better than I did.

As for finding work, being supermum, devoted lover I think your doing an amazing job!

I hope you get the support you so rightly deserve! if you ever need to vent again, do so on here. There is always a friendly ear!

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