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Woody105

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Hello,

just a quick introduction.

51 year old male, felt quite depressed on and off since early 20's.

never faced my illness, always terrified of being diagnosed or labelled and stigmatised.

i have always felt different, not belonging to anything, unloveable, worthless.

this has cost me relationships and friendships, and left me with a great loneliness.

my mental wellbeing has deteriated over the last 18 months, deeper depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts.

last Friday got drunk and attempted overdose with tramadol.

taken to a+e referred to crisis team.

commenced fluoxetine last Sunday, symptoms hit me like a house brick, constant migraine, aches, pains, sore mouth and throat, unable to sleep. Blood pressure raised to 197/110. (Crisis team didn't seem concerned at any of this and refused to change my meds)

eventually after a lot of insistence crisis team let me stop the fluoxetine and now today commenced on citalopram 20mg.

i am hoping and praying that I do not have the horrific side effects with citalopram, and for my mood to lift and stabilise.

i am a little shocked how my dealings with crisis team hasn't been good, they seem uncaring and even dishonest at times, I hope I can be transferred to my gp or a decent cpn asap.

i hope you are all doing ok, and safe.

kind regards,

woody

 

 

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Hi Woody,

Yours is the first post I have read, and I could have written almost the same post a few years ago.

Have you googled to see if there are any charity funded counselling services in your area? I was initially very cynical about counselling but have genuinely found it to be very helpful. It's not easy, and it's not a quick fix, but over time I have greatly improved.

Regarding medication, I can only speak from my own experience. That is some have not, for want of a better term, suited me at all and it has taken quite some time to find something that has been helpful. I was on Citalopram for 5 years and found that although it took away the deepest lows and intrusive thoughts, it left me flat and emotionless. I was changed to a different drug due to chronic pain (yep, I have a metal neck in the literal sense). The new drug has improved both my pain levels and has been the most effective medication to date.

Anyway, hang on in there!

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Hello Metalneck,

thank you for your advice and sharing your experience.

i had not thought about counselling, I will look into it though. I will contact mind to see if they can offer me anything or point me in the right direction.

day three of citalopram, no horrible side effects so far, I did feel needy,emotional yesterday. BP up and down.

i had a phone call from GP practice Friday to ask me to see my GP, they must of had the hospital report of my suicide attempt.  This will be quite a conversation, nervous already and not seeing them until next Friday.

can I ask you why you have a metal neck?

stay well and safe,

woody

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Hi Woody,

I had several ruptured discs in my neck and one was severely compressing my spinal cord. I had an op to remove it and now have a titanium plate & screws in my neck.

Yep, it is quite a bridge to cross that first discussion with the GP following a suicide attempt. I can obnly say that mine has been very supportive...but that doesn't make crossing the hurdle any easier.

I found Citalopram did not have that much of the 2-3 weeks feeling very down when starting- compared to some other medication I have been on. It's worth being aware that you may feel worse and very emotional initially though.

Re. counselling...as I say I was initially cynical, but talking and medication seems to have worked very well. Better than just medication certainly. Just having the opportunity to confidentially get some feeling out in a non-judgemental environment is extremely helpful in itself. I've always resisted talking to people. I had a bad experience with my ex wife who would goad and manipulate me- that put me off talking for good, and also I feel 'guilty' for burdening people with my issues. Talking to a professional has none of those pitfalls. It's not for everyone I suppose, but give it a go and see if it helps.

 

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 Hi and welcome 

 I have found the mental health profession to be very uncaring in my own situation so you're not the only one going through this 

 Take care and stay safe 

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