stamusic Posted March 29, 2017 Report Share Posted March 29, 2017 My girlfriend and I had been together for just over 8 months, and it was by far an incredible 8 months. Just last week she had told me she loves me with everything and wants to marry me one day, then after 3 days, she was very cold saying she only has little feelings for me now and they are not as strong as they used to be. This absolutely kills me. Although at the same time I do not believe her. She had broken up with me, showing a very mean side of her that I have never seen and never ever thought she would show towards me, as if these 8 months meant absolutely nothing to her. She’s not abusive, though does have a temper and I manage to calm her pretty well, to the point she switches back to being fun and bubbly instantly. She has been in therapy for a couple years now and I guess slowly adapting to the skills she is taught - she’s veryyy stubborn. The twist is, a couple months ago her and I had gone to one of my friends party, had farrrr too much to drink and we both ended up having a threesome with one of my trustworthy friends. She did not at any point tell me she was uncomfortable with this and us both being too drunk, we went along with the night. At the time I still didn’t feel her BPD was as strong as it is and would NEVER have gone through with that night if I knew it would have messed with her head as much as it has. Since then she has made jokes about it and I figured she feels the same as me thinking ‘just one funny, regrettable night - no big deal. We won’t do it again’. But when she broke up with me she was very blunt and cold saying “that night has just screwed with my head too much - I don’t think we can go back from this”. She's now deleted all pictures of us on Instagram and Facebook, and we haven't spoke since then which was about 4 days ago. I am so very deeply in love with her and the thought of leaving her for good kills me and more. We planned a big future, holidays, pets, a wedding, even children so surely she did/does have deep feelings for me and this rejection is part of the ‘push-pulling/black-white’ I have read about. I really believe she’s the one I was meant to spend my future with. She’s my best friend and we connect in every way possible - we make each other laugh beyond belief, we motivate each other, and have such intimate personal conversations. I am willing to stand by her and show her I am not going to abandon her, and since the break up I have been researching so much on BPD. My questions are: Has she really fallen out of love with me/or ever in love with me? (this one is the most important to me, since I can understand whether I am sticking around for the right reasons) Has that regrettable night permanently ruined the relationship and her feelings towards me? Will she give me another chance and let me work through her BPD with her? I really would appreciate no comments mentioning if I should just leave her and run, or anything similar. I understand my options and for now, my choice is to understand what she's going through and see if there's a chance. I KNOW she can recover from this and if I can be there with her on this journey, I'm gonna hold on tight. Big big thank you for your time and response!! Huge hugs, - S xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconstantpoet Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 Hey Stamusic, Firstly, let me say I really do understand where you're coming from. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over six months and he has recently been diagnosed but we have both long suspected BPD was the issue of a lot of our fights. From my experience, it seems like your girlfriend is going through a high level of idealisation to devaluation. This is very common and especially in my own relationship. It seems that one moment your partner showers you with love and affection and the next, it switches to extreme anger and can almost be taken as hate. This is not uncommon in BPD and in my relationship and we have both now recognised that it comes and goes and just needs to be accepted as something to be worked on. The issue of the threesome is not fair on her to throw back at you. Having both been present and an act you were both involved in, it seems like it is her grasping at something to throw back at you. Again, this happens with me and often small mistakes or little comments are thrown back as a means to de-value you in the relationship. Almost make you feel like you have made mistakes too. We are all human and sometimes, when you are looking after someone with BPD, they can idealise you and forget that you're not perfect. My advice to your question would be the following: Give her space to figure out how she feels, at least a few days. Try hard not to doubt your relationship or feelings. See if she gets in touch and if you need to reach out, do so in a calm manner and suggest you simply talk things through before even thinking about breaking up. In my experience, my boyfriends biggest fear is me leaving and he often lashes out as he thinks I'll eventually go, and therefore breaks up with me first. This could be a similar situation, so I would reassure her that you don't want to go anywhere, you don't want to leave and that you want to work this out.* *Definitely only say these things if you want to. As for the threesome, we have all done things we regret. My partner has brought up things I've done before we were ever together and used them against me in arguments. I do not think this has ruined your relationship, I rather think you both need to just talk about it, openly and then completely draw a line under it. You both need to move on from it and agree to not bring it up if it's going to cause upset. You need to understand that it can be hard for her to disassociate that night from what she perceives as her ongoing problems. The threesome may not be the issue or case at all, and that can be clear as day to you, but is she has decided that is a negative impact, she will continue to use it as one. Don't let this happen, talk openly and say that you both need to move past it completely. You seem like a fantastic partner and by you even saying will she give you another chance, I very much hope she will. But remember you are not the solution to her BPD and you cannot fix the relationship without her being completely willing to work on it too. Remember - this is a two way street! All you can do is express your love, support and willingness to keep working on it together. I hope this helps, be safe out there and know you're not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stamusic Posted March 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 1 hour ago, aconstantpoet said: Hey Stamusic, Firstly, let me say I really do understand where you're coming from. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over six months and he has recently been diagnosed but we have both long suspected BPD was the issue of a lot of our fights. From my experience, it seems like your girlfriend is going through a high level of idealisation to devaluation. This is very common and especially in my own relationship. It seems that one moment your partner showers you with love and affection and the next, it switches to extreme anger and can almost be taken as hate. This is not uncommon in BPD and in my relationship and we have both now recognised that it comes and goes and just needs to be accepted as something to be worked on. The issue of the threesome is not fair on her to throw back at you. Having both been present and an act you were both involved in, it seems like it is her grasping at something to throw back at you. Again, this happens with me and often small mistakes or little comments are thrown back as a means to de-value you in the relationship. Almost make you feel like you have made mistakes too. We are all human and sometimes, when you are looking after someone with BPD, they can idealise you and forget that you're not perfect. My advice to your question would be the following: Give her space to figure out how she feels, at least a few days. Try hard not to doubt your relationship or feelings. See if she gets in touch and if you need to reach out, do so in a calm manner and suggest you simply talk things through before even thinking about breaking up. In my experience, my boyfriends biggest fear is me leaving and he often lashes out as he thinks I'll eventually go, and therefore breaks up with me first. This could be a similar situation, so I would reassure her that you don't want to go anywhere, you don't want to leave and that you want to work this out.* *Definitely only say these things if you want to. As for the threesome, we have all done things we regret. My partner has brought up things I've done before we were ever together and used them against me in arguments. I do not think this has ruined your relationship, I rather think you both need to just talk about it, openly and then completely draw a line under it. You both need to move on from it and agree to not bring it up if it's going to cause upset. You need to understand that it can be hard for her to disassociate that night from what she perceives as her ongoing problems. The threesome may not be the issue or case at all, and that can be clear as day to you, but is she has decided that is a negative impact, she will continue to use it as one. Don't let this happen, talk openly and say that you both need to move past it completely. You seem like a fantastic partner and by you even saying will she give you another chance, I very much hope she will. But remember you are not the solution to her BPD and you cannot fix the relationship without her being completely willing to work on it too. Remember - this is a two way street! All you can do is express your love, support and willingness to keep working on it together. I hope this helps, be safe out there and know you're not alone. Thanks you so much for this, I cannot describe how much I appreciate your humble response! I personally feel a little angry at myself for the reason the very first time her and I ever spoke, she opened up to me and told me she has BPD, yet I looked it up very very briefly and swept it under the carpet thinking that it won't effect anything. 8 months on, such a dramatic turn of events. It's also sad how this is the first time I've heard even heard of Borderline Personality Disorder - the lack of education and information we're taught on BPD and mental health through childhood is frustrating since we're only left to fend for ourselves once we're stuck in a situation. As for contacting her, I feel I will wait for her to contact me first since she still seems in the 'black' stage of the splitting. Over the past 4 days she has since blocked me on all social media and has been posting confusing things on Instagram. For instance the posts saying "my only regret is wasting time with the wrong people", "you can't force a flower to thrive somewhere it doesn't belong", "I regret opening up to some people - they didn't deserve to know me like that" and "I would love to erase my memory". I'm learning to grow myself a thick skin since I understand these 'black' moments can be hurtful, and it's clear she's trying to get me read these by posting it on all her accounts. Any thoughts on these posts she's doing? I don't think asking 'why' she's doing this since, I guess that will never be clear. But perhaps, when will these posts calm down? It just feels each day she builds herself up more for finding reasons to not love me/despise me, which leads to her doing these things. She does make jokes about the threesome and sometimes they are funny and sarcastic, but if I feel she's starting to beat herself up about it, I'll brush it off, change topic, and make her laugh. The great thing is that we can both make eachother laugh very quickly no matter the situation - that's something I feel will make us very strong in the long run. Thank you again xoxo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stamusic Posted March 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 6 hours ago, stamusic said: Thanks you so much for this, I cannot describe how much I appreciate your humble response! I personally feel a little angry at myself for the reason the very first time her and I ever spoke, she opened up to me and told me she has BPD, yet I looked it up very very briefly and swept it under the carpet thinking that it won't effect anything. 8 months on, such a dramatic turn of events. It's also sad how this is the first time I've heard even heard of Borderline Personality Disorder - the lack of education and information we're taught on BPD and mental health through childhood is frustrating since we're only left to fend for ourselves once we're stuck in a situation. As for contacting her, I feel I will wait for her to contact me first since she still seems in the 'black' stage of the splitting. Over the past 4 days she has since blocked me on all social media and has been posting confusing things on Instagram. For instance the posts saying "my only regret is wasting time with the wrong people", "you can't force a flower to thrive somewhere it doesn't belong", "I regret opening up to some people - they didn't deserve to know me like that" and "I would love to erase my memory". I'm learning to grow myself a thick skin since I understand these 'black' moments can be hurtful, and it's clear she's trying to get me read these by posting it on all her accounts. Any thoughts on these posts she's doing? I don't think asking 'why' she's doing this since, I guess that will never be clear. But perhaps, when will these posts calm down? It just feels each day she builds herself up more for finding reasons to not love me/despise me, which leads to her doing these things. She does make jokes about the threesome and sometimes they are funny and sarcastic, but if I feel she's starting to beat herself up about it, I'll brush it off, change topic, and make her laugh. The great thing is that we can both make eachother laugh very quickly no matter the situation - that's something I feel will make us very strong in the long run. Thank you again xoxo An update -- This morning she texted asking if she can arrange for someone to pick up her stuff (ouch). I replied politely and was very understanding, giving her some of my humour. But she was still quite blunt and cold. After the 'picking up her stuff' convo, she went straight into this: GF: Im just in a really foul mood and if i talk to you ill end up being a bitch and i dont mean to be GF: Sorry ME: That’s more than fine, honest! Just know when you are ready and comfortable, always here GF: I just think its easier for us both if we dont talk tbh sorry ME: I understand, it’s okay GF: If we carry on talking its gonna be harder to move on ME: Okay, that’s fair. I’m just focusing on work and not thinking about relationships for a long while. So as a friend, it’s okay to talk to me.. whether in a few months or years GF: Thats up to you whether you get into a relationship or whatever to be honest. But thanks, same to you ME: Cool, all good then. Just take care, beaut xo I feel as if this convo was the end of the end for the relationship. I know she has this side of her where she doesn't want me to be hurt so much that she just wants me to stay out of her life, and you can see her sweetness in that final conversation. It breaks my heart. What if it's been several months and she still has not contacted me - do I contact her first casually? Does she not want me in her life at all anymore? This is all so new and confusing. And of course very painful. I know she deeply loves me as I do love her, it's just her pain with BPD that's doing all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrippleAndStarfish Posted March 30, 2017 Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 Speaking very briefly as someone with BPD, it does seem very similar to behaviour which I used to do a lot - "testing", you say you've been reading up on bpd and you may have come across people with the diagnosis of bpd being described as "manipulative" - this is why. There is a lot of splitting - the idealisation and the devaluation, the black and white thinking with little grey area in between. I don't know the girl you're speaking of, and I absolutely can't speak for her, but her behaviour may be fuelled by the same fears mine are - that of abandonment/rejection. It is so much easier for me to reject the other person first, so much easier to pull myself away when I feel "wobbly" - in part, because I don't want to be a burden, partly because I don't know if I can trust them to see my "ugly" and still stay by my side, and partly because I know I can be cruel and I genuinely don't want to hurt those I care about so withdrawal seems the kinder option, the lesser evil. What helped me was for my wishes to be respected, to not be pushed to communicate, but to be made aware that they were there should I want to talk/hang out, no pressure. This allowed me the space I needed to implement my skills and find some balance, then I could come back to the situation and discuss it and resolve any issues from a more stable starting point. Hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stamusic Posted March 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted March 30, 2017 Thank you, CrippleAndStarfish! Very helpful info, it's always really enlightening to hear from someone with BPD. She did have a very rough childhood with her father committing suicide, and her step-father mentally abusing her. So I definitely feel she has a strong fear of abandonment and rejection. I have been giving her all the space she needs, and she's always been the one to get in touch with me first. So I feel I'm going in the right direction doing so An hour after the previous text convo I had sent, she had sent me another: GF: Im sorry im being a dick GF: I dont mean it ok GF: But its best for us both to go our seperate ways GF: I have a really short temper at the moment and im just easily annoyed ME: You’re not being a dick, never have been. You’re going through loads and have a lot on your plate, I get that. I’ll never understand fully, but that’s okay too. You’ve never done anything wrong, promise GF: Ive been really cold and nasty to you GF: You dont deserve that GF: Im still here for you as a friend but you just need some time to move on, and i do too ME: I know, That's really sweet of ya. You're the most considerate and beautiful person I'll ever know, inside and out GF: Im not though GF: I just cant help being a bitch lately GF: Its not just to you though GF: Ive been the same to everyone ME: It's just how you're feeling. The way you're expressing your feelings doesn't define you as a bitch ME: It's okay to let out how you feel GF: My mum knows i can be such a cold person at times, but i dont mean it ... and ill beat myself up over it later ME: I understand that, it's just how you feel and it's okay that you can't help how you act out. It's nothing you should beat yourself up about, you're allowed to express yourself ME: The most important thing is that you're working on yourself and know that you WILL be the person you want to become one day GF: Just dont ever think i hate you GF: As cold as i can be GF: I dont ME: Believe me, I know ME: Im too cute for you to ever be hateful towards me GF: Hahah You can see clear how sweet she is and it pains and hurts my heart so very much. How do you think I did responding to her, and how can I improve? I'm learning loads about validation and empathy, so I have tried my best putting that in the convo. She keeps repeating herself saying things such as "You don't deserve me" "You need to move on" "it's best we go our separate ways".. But how can I let her know, and make sure she understands that I'm here for her without being pushed away again? Thank you again for your big help! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconstantpoet Posted March 31, 2017 Report Share Posted March 31, 2017 Hey, it's me again. Sorry for the late reply, unfortunately I'm straight off the bat of a similar situation with my boyfriend, which made me come to your thread and see how you're doing. I'm pleased to see in your last update that your girlfriend seems to understand she is behaving differently and that's is something you don't deserve. This fluctuation in love/list/empathy to frustration/arguments/aggression is something that is not caused by you and although it may be hard to admit at times, I am sure she knows this deep down. It's great to see that your responses are supportive whilst clear that you understand her situation and I don't think you should doubt yourself at all as a partner. Keep up the humour without making it too light hearted if you can, and remember, you know your girl and she knows you. You will have a way of communicating that may not always apply to the rules of forums and other people so if humour and jokes is an ice breaker, then use it when needed. But be sure to not make it a foundation of moving forward. Should you come out of this, which I hope you do of course, be sure to build a strong foundation on what need stop be discussed and get everything out in the open. I've made the mistake of brushing the 'small' thing aside before and not recognising how important they are in moving forward. Be sure that when you are at that point, there's not baggage left to claim! Thanks so much CrippleAndStarfish for sharing your experience and being ao open. I too, am so grateful that you are willing to open up to we may better understand how our loved ones are feeling. If you don't mind me asking, are there any particular triggers or situations that may make you invoke behaviour to think you need to 'leave first', as it were? In my opinion which is certainly no expert, my boyfriend has threatened to leave a lot and often because he believes what he has said/done/acted like is so unforgivable that he cannot believe I am still around. Personally I try hard to detach many of his actions from 'himself' as so many of the bad comes from insecurities or arguments or paranoia (more than often cause by casual drugs abuse). On the one occasion I have said I need to leave (this was after I found explicit texts on his phone to another woman) he told me he would not care. Less than 8 hours late, he said he was sorry and that he loved me. My point is, Stamusic, you aren't alone. I'm in such a similar position and although the situations have differing factors and causes, I can see similarities in how our partners may think. They look for an out because it is easier to accept that they may deserve the love and support. Which they do. CrippleAndStarfish, again, thank you for sharing and if you have any insight it would be most appreciated for us both, I am sure! I hope my late night ramblings brings some sense. Thank you for listening and keep us updated, Stamusic. My love to you all x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stamusic Posted April 1, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2017 11 hours ago, aconstantpoet said: Hey, it's me again. Sorry for the late reply, unfortunately I'm straight off the bat of a similar situation with my boyfriend, which made me come to your thread and see how you're doing. I'm pleased to see in your last update that your girlfriend seems to understand she is behaving differently and that's is something you don't deserve. This fluctuation in love/list/empathy to frustration/arguments/aggression is something that is not caused by you and although it may be hard to admit at times, I am sure she knows this deep down. It's great to see that your responses are supportive whilst clear that you understand her situation and I don't think you should doubt yourself at all as a partner. Keep up the humour without making it too light hearted if you can, and remember, you know your girl and she knows you. You will have a way of communicating that may not always apply to the rules of forums and other people so if humour and jokes is an ice breaker, then use it when needed. But be sure to not make it a foundation of moving forward. Should you come out of this, which I hope you do of course, be sure to build a strong foundation on what need stop be discussed and get everything out in the open. I've made the mistake of brushing the 'small' thing aside before and not recognising how important they are in moving forward. Be sure that when you are at that point, there's not baggage left to claim! Thanks so much CrippleAndStarfish for sharing your experience and being ao open. I too, am so grateful that you are willing to open up to we may better understand how our loved ones are feeling. If you don't mind me asking, are there any particular triggers or situations that may make you invoke behaviour to think you need to 'leave first', as it were? In my opinion which is certainly no expert, my boyfriend has threatened to leave a lot and often because he believes what he has said/done/acted like is so unforgivable that he cannot believe I am still around. Personally I try hard to detach many of his actions from 'himself' as so many of the bad comes from insecurities or arguments or paranoia (more than often cause by casual drugs abuse). On the one occasion I have said I need to leave (this was after I found explicit texts on his phone to another woman) he told me he would not care. Less than 8 hours late, he said he was sorry and that he loved me. My point is, Stamusic, you aren't alone. I'm in such a similar position and although the situations have differing factors and causes, I can see similarities in how our partners may think. They look for an out because it is easier to accept that they may deserve the love and support. Which they do. CrippleAndStarfish, again, thank you for sharing and if you have any insight it would be most appreciated for us both, I am sure! I hope my late night ramblings brings some sense. Thank you for listening and keep us updated, Stamusic. My love to you all x That's great info, thank you aconstantpoet! Definitely a great reminder to make sure her and I open up and discuss matters instead of sweeping them under the carpet. This is a good part of 'standing my ground' also - making sure she knows I am not somebody who can be insulted and degraded, but a partner who is confident, in control (but not overbearing) and also someone she can RESPECT. Also a great question, I too would also be grateful to know what may cause the 'painted black/splitting' trigger. Thanks in advance CrippleAndStarfish For your situation, Aconstantpoet, my girlfriend is the same. She will usually push me away because she truly feels she's making me so unhappy and believes she treats me like nothing but bull. She has cheated in a past relationship though she said she didn't have feelings for that person at all, and she would never do the same to me because I am different and she's in love with me. With everything going on now, I still do find it very difficult to think she would cheat or even flirt with somebody else, but what happens, happens. The fact your boyfriend is involved with drugs also is something that will clearly highlight his negative emotions much much more, so perhaps a good start for him is to take a step back from that to solely work on himself and the BPD. May I ask, is he in therapy or in any kind of treatment? An update on my relationship also. After the texts of her apologising for her blunt words and telling me it's best we move on, I of course told her I'm still here for her as a friend if she ever wanted to reach out (of course I find it hard as hell to be just her friend, but I'll take it for now). She then followed up by saying "To be honest, I think it's best we didn't speak to eachother anymore. It will be best for us so we can both move on". An hour later she sends me funny gifs and memes, and I sent her some back, feeling out and responding to her mood. The next evening she sends me a text during her break at work asking what my situation with university and work is. Random, but again, I felt out and responded to her mood. I replied and told her some great things that's been happening with my work and she genuinely was happy for me. The texts continued to be lighthearted and she was in a great mood. The night simply ended with me asking if work went well, and her good mood seemed to have faded again, so I simply responded with a "ah good good" then a smiley emoji, leaving it at that. That's pretty much it for now, and as usual I am just keeping myself busy with work and social life and educating myself lots on BPD and communication techniques. So far I would think it's going pretty well. For me, being so in love and smitten for this girl, when I see she has texted me something I need to not get too enthusiastic and eager and keep the whole 'when she's pulling me towards her, mirror her by being positive back.. But just a little less'. Thanks again everyone. It's wonderful for us all to come together and know we're not alone in this.. Even though it definitely may feel like it right now Big hugs, take it easy! S xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aconstantpoet Posted April 3, 2017 Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Hey Stamusic, How are you doing today? Well I hope. It's good to know we're not alone in these situations and like we've realised, it's certainly not uncommon for our loved ones to push us away as a defence mechanism. My boyfriend is just about to be re-referred to a specialist, so we're currently waiting on that. I'm hoping with him taking these steps, it will make a huge difference in understanding himself and his mind more. He's also having a month of sobriety, which is a huge positive step. I'll keep you updated on how it goes, but wish us luck! Has your relationship improved any more? I wanted to ask if she is in any treatment for BPD also or whether she goes to talk to anyone about it? It's a massive thing for you to take on so much and still have much hope. I really am impressed and I hope she sees how lucky she is to have you as support, even if it does result in a friendship. Wise words to not get too hung up on the small things - I'm not saying don't have hope, but remember that you need to come first too. It's just as important that you are happy and stable, as she is. Again, keep us updated and all the best. A x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stamusic Posted April 3, 2017 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2017 Hey Aconstantpoet! Always great to hear from you That's really good news your boyfriend is taking the steps in the right direction. Do you feel confident in him making changes? She is in treatment doing both one on one and group DBT sessions. She never skips a session which is great and she is keen on getting better. Other than the therapy, she does speak on occasion to her mother. She doesn't go into much detail with her mother though since her step dad is usually around right next to her mother, and her step dad mentally abusive to her. The whole family but her mother all presume she's just an 'attention seeker' and leave it at that. I'm unsure if there has been any kind of progress between her and I. She is still texting me out of the blue for short convos and checking in if I'm okay ect. Yesterday during our conversation she mentioned she met up with one of her ex's for drinks because she wanted to be a good friend since her ex was feeling low. Of course, I was very on edge and this is the first I even heard that apparently they've 'always been talking'. She told me they both had a very deep and 'weird' (whatever that may mean) conversation about their relationship and their past as a couple. Finishing that, she told me she doesn't see herself hanging out with her for a while for a reason I'm unsure of.. Though secretly grateful. Right after that conversation she told me I should change my profile picture since she was in it, saying "it's weird, people are going to think we're together when we're not". That cut deep, but I'm taking it as it comes. I've been making sure I have been using validation talking to her and I think the conversation went pretty well and I kept it lighthearted considering the topics. My main concern is that she's completely friend-zoning me since she talks to me like I'm one of her pals. Ie, calling me 'dude' and 'bud' which she never has done. I'm unsure if I'm losing hope or something else, but my frustration and concern is very high since I don't know if she genuinely still loves me and this is just her 'painted black' moment, or if I'm waiting around for somebody that really did fall out of love with me after the mistake at the party. I'm continuing to learn sooo much about BPD and DBT skills because I still want to be so prepared and ready if she does come back. The waiting game is just horrible. I would at least love to talk to her about the relationship rather us act as if nothing happened. We'll see. I still have hope - if it's meant to be, everything will work out. Sorry for the low mood! Such a wild amount of emotions over the past week. I am beyond grateful I am not alone on this painful journey <3 Hope to hear from you soon, S xo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted April 8, 2017 Report Share Posted April 8, 2017 I suggest you look and be willing to work on some of the issue you have that makes not a stable partner for this person, but rather a highly attractive option to not getting what you need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielcroos Posted June 8, 2017 Report Share Posted June 8, 2017 Girlfriend with BPD - Need Your Help! BPD Family encourages couples to spot the classic pattern of relationship breakdown and take action before it goes too far. there is no single reason why a relationship begins to break down. However, once a relationship does start to break down, there is a predictable sequence of events that tends to occur. However, once a relationship does start to break down, there is a predictable sequence of events that tends to occur. Highly regarded psychologist and researcher John Guttmann, Ph.D. suggests that there are four stages to this sequence which he has labeled, "The Four Horsemen Of the Apocalypse". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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