HayLouise

Feeling alone :(

7 posts in this topic

I've been diagnosed with 2 personality disorders(Avoidant and Dependant) along with traits of Borderline Personality. I have a boyfriend who doesn't believe in mental illness and mocks and laughs at my problems. My family try to understand, I know, but they're not really supportive and it's causing me so much upset :( I'm starting psychotherapy now that I've got a diagnosis, but my psychiatrist told me that joining an online support forum would be good for me too since I don't have any at home. So I found this one.

 

I'm left turning to the internet for extra support, as I'd prefer it more than a face to face support groups due to my avoidant problems :( I haven't been officially diagnosed with BPD (only APD and DPD) but have been told I have some of the traits of it. The uncontrollable moods that are up and down like a yoyo, anger outbursts which lead to screaming, smashing things, and hurting myself, extreme paranoia and jealousy, depersonalization, A great fear of abandonment (though my psychiatrist told me that this is part of my dependant personality and experienced more differently than that of borderline personality) I just don't know anymore :( I haven't been able to settle down since I got the diagnoses and I have nowhere to turn to at all :(

wilcombebolger likes this

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Hi there HayLouise,

                              Ive been diagnosed with BPD (now emotionally unstable borderline personality) since 2012 and I have been a member here since September 2013, I have found this forum to be very supportive and non judgemental, which has helped me personally no end to feeling comfortable to post here when I ever feel I need to, whether its "the whole world feels against me" or I am having just a "shit day".

I hope you feel as comfortable as I do in the long term as I have found in my experience, the stigma towards mental health still affects many, giving us sufferers a "raw deal" when it comes to being seen and treated fairly.

Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving!

Albert Einstein

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Hey Wilcombebolger,

Thank you so much for your reply! I've been to other forums before this one but received quite negative feedback from the users there :( I have such a hard time explaining my problems as I've constantly felt judged by whoever I try to tell them to, so maybe I make it hard for them to understand? I don't know, honestly

 

Your reply to my post was very welcoming, and I hope there's more people here like you! Thank you for sharing your experience! it really is comforting to know I'm not alone, though really sad to hear so many people suffer and really hope that I'll be able to support others here too :( And yeah, it feels awful being labelled for mental health issues, but knowing finally what's wrong with me has cured my obsession of finding answers and trying to self-diagnose, which I was doing for almost 3 years!

 

I do hope I'll be able to support others here, I'm just not good at all with giving advice :( Again thank you for your kind and welcoming reply wilcombebolger, it really meant alot to me :)

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Hi HayLouise,

Just come across your post, I realise it was posted a little bit ago hope you don't mind me commenting . I've been diagnosed with BPD since last September and since then I feel as if I've spent every waking moment researching it, reading blogs and books and looking for answers. 9 months later I'm finally starting to leave this behind and try to move on to what do I do now then! I don't think I've lived in this past 9 months at all! My husband doesn't believe in MH issues either and thinks most of us just need to get up and get in with it!! I've given up Trying as it just leads to arguments and me getting over emotional and angry. Funnily enough my therapist also told me to go online find some forums and chat rooms which I've done.  It can be really useful. I hope things are going  well  for you at the moment.

Cagney 

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23 hours ago, Cagney said:

Hi HayLouise,

Just come across your post, I realise it was posted a little bit ago hope you don't mind me commenting . I've been diagnosed with BPD since last September and since then I feel as if I've spent every waking moment researching it, reading blogs and books and looking for answers. 9 months later I'm finally starting to leave this behind and try to move on to what do I do now then! I don't think I've lived in this past 9 months at all! My husband doesn't believe in MH issues either and thinks most of us just need to get up and get in with it!! I've given up Trying as it just leads to arguments and me getting over emotional and angry. Funnily enough my therapist also told me to go online find some forums and chat rooms which I've done.  It can be really useful. I hope things are going  well  for you at the moment.

Cagney 

Hi Cagney,

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to live with someone who denies that you're struggling with something very real. Hopefully, he is atleast reserved about this, and is able to support you emotionally. 

Much love <3

Cagney likes this

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Thanks RSxo, it is difficult and leads to many arguments which you can imagine I handle gracefully... not. I feel like I'm always telling the wrong people about my issue and they just don't know how to respond. Some friends have literally backed away entirely which I'm really struggling with too. It's very invalidating and I wish I'd never  told anyone in the first place sometimes. 

thanks 

Cagney x 

Edited by Cagney
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On 11/06/2017 at 0:51 PM, Cagney said:

Thanks RSxo, it is difficult and leads to many arguments which you can imagine I handle gracefully... not. I feel like I'm always telling the wrong people about my issue and they just don't know how to respond. Some friends have literally backed away entirely which I'm really struggling with too. It's very invalidating and I wish I'd never  told anyone in the first place sometimes. 

thanks 

Cagney x 

Hi Cagney,

While more people are becoming tolerant of mental health issues, there are still several that are not so accepting of it. Most people with mental health issues have lost friends because of the stigma attached to it, but don't let that stop you from sharing your experience. The only way for us to reduce this stigma is to talk about it openly - cutting off communication means that intolerant people stay ignorant of the information available. I know it's hard when people you care about won't accept the reality of what you experience, but we have to get up back on our feet and keep going, with or without them. That way, you know the people who accept you for who you are will stay by your side, while those who get left behind let a sensitive issue get in the way of your friendship. It's not your fault that this happens by any means, and don't feel like you have to tell anyone - whoever you feel comfortable sharing it with! 

Much love <3

Cagney likes this

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