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Furious, angry and sad.


bettyboop

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Hi, I have tried so hard to help my BPD daughter get some support....why can't I find someone who knows what they are doing and talking about to support my adult daughter and tell her what the rules and rights are.  She has been messed about by the mental health team and social services so much they have made her no longer want to be alive, she feels it would be 'peaceful' if she died now.   My daughter has been taken out of a shared house with 24 hour staff and forced to live in a shared house with 5 men and no support staff at all, the men all have mental health problems, plus some are alcoholics and some are drug users.  She is the only female, she has her stuff stolen, they knock her door in the middle of the night when they are drunk, they stand outside her bedroom door in the middle of the night and she can hear them, but they just stand there and she is terrified, its really creepy.  There have been fights leaving one needing a stay in hospital, she has received a death threat from one and is so frightened,  she stays awake at night frightened her door may be kicked in, there is a manager of this house who pops in once a week for about ten mins just to say hello.  She has not eaten a hot meal in 9 months because she is too scared to use the shared kitchen with the men,  her mail is being taken or opened and just left there on the floor.  Ive rung so many places and spoken to so many people to get her the right help and to know her rights but we always end up back at square one.....Ive tried an advocate who was brilliant but she left to go abroad so the 2nd advocate attended a meeting with social services with us to support us, he hung on to every word they said and ass licked them, also stayed behind with 'them' after the meeting for a chin wag!!! 3rd advocate didn't do much either.  Wrote to local MP who eventually replied and said she would help, she wrote them an email, now she don't reply, been 3 months or more and still doesn't reply.   Even the police have contacted the mental health team to tell them what they are doing to my daughter is bad for her mental health and they should not have forced her to move into her current property which is totally unsuitable, but again nothings been done.  Every time I try to argue with the mental health team they come up with a reason as to why they won't move her or give her carers to help her,  I don't know exactly what she is entitled to or not, whether she has a case against them or not, or how to go about it. She has now been told she cannot put herself on the housing register to try and move because the place she lives in is a permanent tenancy so in their eyes she has somewhere to live. When she moved into this property she had no care coordinator because she had left, so my daughter just signed this form having no idea what it meant....so thought this was a short term place until they find her somewhere else to live, now she is in tears again at the thought she might be there forever.  She has taken numerous overdoses and has not just cut her wrists but gouged them open with a scalpel....she sent me photo's of it and it really is bad.  I feel we need someone like a solicitor who knows about mental health rights but I just can't find anyone, there is no legal aid anymore so we can't really go down that root.  Does anyone know where I can get this help please.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Can she not stay with you?

 

Get her home amongst love ones, she needs people around her that make her feel safe, secure and calm.

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On 2017-5-3 at 0:34 PM, bettyboop said:

Hi, I have tried so hard to help my BPD daughter get some support....why can't I find someone who knows what they are doing and talking about to support my adult daughter and tell her what the rules and rights are.  She has been messed about by the mental health team and social services so much they have made her no longer want to be alive, she feels it would be 'peaceful' if she died now.   My daughter has been taken out of a shared house with 24 hour staff and forced to live in a shared house with 5 men and no support staff at all, the men all have mental health problems, plus some are alcoholics and some are drug users.  She is the only female, she has her stuff stolen, they knock her door in the middle of the night when they are drunk, they stand outside her bedroom door in the middle of the night and she can hear them, but they just stand there and she is terrified, its really creepy.  There have been fights leaving one needing a stay in hospital, she has received a death threat from one and is so frightened,  she stays awake at night frightened her door may be kicked in, there is a manager of this house who pops in once a week for about ten mins just to say hello.  She has not eaten a hot meal in 9 months because she is too scared to use the shared kitchen with the men,  her mail is being taken or opened and just left there on the floor.  Ive rung so many places and spoken to so many people to get her the right help and to know her rights but we always end up back at square one.....Ive tried an advocate who was brilliant but she left to go abroad so the 2nd advocate attended a meeting with social services with us to support us, he hung on to every word they said and ass licked them, also stayed behind with 'them' after the meeting for a chin wag!!! 3rd advocate didn't do much either.  Wrote to local MP who eventually replied and said she would help, she wrote them an email, now she don't reply, been 3 months or more and still doesn't reply.   Even the police have contacted the mental health team to tell them what they are doing to my daughter is bad for her mental health and they should not have forced her to move into her current property which is totally unsuitable, but again nothings been done.  Every time I try to argue with the mental health team they come up with a reason as to why they won't move her or give her carers to help her,  I don't know exactly what she is entitled to or not, whether she has a case against them or not, or how to go about it. She has now been told she cannot put herself on the housing register to try and move because the place she lives in is a permanent tenancy so in their eyes she has somewhere to live. When she moved into this property she had no care coordinator because she had left, so my daughter just signed this form having no idea what it meant....so thought this was a short term place until they find her somewhere else to live, now she is in tears again at the thought she might be there forever.  She has taken numerous overdoses and has not just cut her wrists but gouged them open with a scalpel....she sent me photo's of it and it really is bad.  I feel we need someone like a solicitor who knows about mental health rights but I just can't find anyone, there is no legal aid anymore so we can't really go down that root.  Does anyone know where I can get this help please.

Hi bettyboop,

Sounds like you need to pull her out of there. The best environment for recovery is one where you feel comfortable and safe, and neither of those applies here. Take care of her at home, where she will be surrounded by family that love her with all their heart, that won't kick her door down and steal her stuff, and will keep her safe.

I can't begin to imagine how scary it must be as a parent to know that your child has overdosed and cuts her wrists. You're completely right to be worried here, and as a parent, I would do what's best for her, and pull her from that hell hole.

I would read this section of Rethink - would appear to provide help and advice on the next steps for you - https://www.rethink.org/living-with-mental-illness/rights-restrictions/complaints

Much love <3

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