Cagney Posted June 3, 2017 Report Share Posted June 3, 2017 Hi all, its been a while since I wrote something here and I guess I've not been very supportive of others so I'll try my best to make amends as I ask for your help too. Since having a BPD diagnosis I have relied heavily upon a particular sport as a release. I absolutely love playing and find it is one of a few times I can truly switch off. However lately I have been triggered at nearly every training or match. I feel as if I don't have a place, don't fit in, im surpless to requirements and so on. If I'm played in a different position I feel used and worthless! If I'm not playing well I feel like self harming and often have thoughts of driving my car into a wall or something on the way back from training. It makes no sense, I love it and yet it is causing me the most issues of late. I keep thinking about packing it all in but I know I would miss it too much. Can anyone relate or offer advice? Many thanks Cagney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSxo Posted June 5, 2017 Report Share Posted June 5, 2017 On 2017-6-3 at 5:34 PM, Cagney said: Hi all, its been a while since I wrote something here and I guess I've not been very supportive of others so I'll try my best to make amends as I ask for your help too. Since having a BPD diagnosis I have relied heavily upon a particular sport as a release. I absolutely love playing and find it is one of a few times I can truly switch off. However lately I have been triggered at nearly every training or match. I feel as if I don't have a place, don't fit in, im surpless to requirements and so on. If I'm played in a different position I feel used and worthless! If I'm not playing well I feel like self harming and often have thoughts of driving my car into a wall or something on the way back from training. It makes no sense, I love it and yet it is causing me the most issues of late. I keep thinking about packing it all in but I know I would miss it too much. Can anyone relate or offer advice? Many thanks Cagney Hi Cagney! Using an activity or sport as an outlet is a great way to destress. However, heavily relying on one activity in such a way says to me that you're becoming desperate. Sport can used as an escape from the pain of reality, just as a drug or alcohol is used. In the same way that problems occur when one becomes dependent on a drug or alcohol, becoming dependent on a single outlet can cause unrealistic expectations. The other way of thinking about it is that your problems are spilling over to the sport. While you used sport as a way to escape the problem, the symptoms are now spilling over to that escape, which is what is causing you such frustration. The fact that you have suicidal tendencies if not performing well is a clear indicator of the two in conjunction. Overreliance on sport and the spilling over of symptoms into that activity have corrupted your safe haven in your eyes, which makes you believe that there is nothing left. The best way to solve this is to tackle the problem head on. Rather than continue to desperately escape it, resolve it by seeking an appointment with a GP, getting the professional therapy and medication you need, and solve the problem at the root. While doing this, don't stop that sport - it will be a vital part of recovery, and will serve as an outlet in the future. Much love <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cagney Posted June 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 6, 2017 Thank you for your kind reply RSxo. I thoroughly appreciate your time. I also think your points are spot on and highly accurate. I definitely rely upon it too much. I really need to find a way to cope with it as I love the sport so much. I would love to see it as a healthy hobby instead of an unhealthy obsession. It's taken all the fun out of it. I am currently in therapy, going through a DBT programme but my therapist also wants me to reach out to others experiencing a similar thing so I feel less isolated. Your words have really resonated with me so thanks again. Cagney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSxo Posted June 7, 2017 Report Share Posted June 7, 2017 On 06/06/2017 at 1:24 PM, Cagney said: Thank you for your kind reply RSxo. I thoroughly appreciate your time. I also think your points are spot on and highly accurate. I definitely rely upon it too much. I really need to find a way to cope with it as I love the sport so much. I would love to see it as a healthy hobby instead of an unhealthy obsession. It's taken all the fun out of it. I am currently in therapy, going through a DBT programme but my therapist also wants me to reach out to others experiencing a similar thing so I feel less isolated. Your words have really resonated with me so thanks again. Cagney No worries - we're all here to support each other! I wish you a speedy recovery! <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danielcroos Posted June 9, 2017 Report Share Posted June 9, 2017 Personality disorder can show itself in different ways, and specialists take varying approaches to diagnose and understand personality disorders. Here are some of the approaches you may come across: You may be given a medical diagnosis, when you are told you have a type of personality disorder. Some specialists may focus on the aspects of your personality which cause you most difficulty. Some specialists try to understand the problems you experience, by working with you to identify the individual patterns and experiences in your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.