C0ncernedFriend Posted June 14, 2017 Report Share Posted June 14, 2017 I have known this guy (which I'll refer to from here as M) for many years now, and as long as I've known him he's been severely depressed. I don't know whether this is normal, but with him it seems to come in waves, he'll disappear for a long while and then reappear when he's feeling up to it. It was after I introduced him to a friend of mine (let's call her F) a number of years ago that we started drifting apart. M really got on well with F and she with him, connecting over their encyclopedic knowledge's of all things nerdy. A problem is that he fell for her, and she didn't feel the same way (she was already in a relationship). After they'd each made their feelings clear, they resumed their friendship - but apparently he always held a candle for her. A couple of years later he got drunk (I'm fairly sure he's an alcoholic) and confessed his feelings to her again. This drove her away for a time, and he disappeared once again. We've recently all reconnected, but I know he's in a bad way because F tells me he's just recently sent her some really worrying texts saying how lonely he is. I'm feeling a bit clueless, I have no idea what I could do to help him. I don't feel like we're really that close anymore, and he's hopelessly inactive - the only way to get him out of his house is drink. I'm not sure that going out for a drink with them both is a great idea given his probable alcoholism, and I don't know if his being around F (who he gets along with a lot better with than me these days) is a good idea either... I'm worried he might do something stupid. Any advice would be welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSxo Posted June 15, 2017 Report Share Posted June 15, 2017 23 hours ago, C0ncernedFriend said: I have known this guy (which I'll refer to from here as M) for many years now, and as long as I've known him he's been severely depressed. I don't know whether this is normal, but with him it seems to come in waves, he'll disappear for a long while and then reappear when he's feeling up to it. It was after I introduced him to a friend of mine (let's call her F) a number of years ago that we started drifting apart. M really got on well with F and she with him, connecting over their encyclopedic knowledge's of all things nerdy. A problem is that he fell for her, and she didn't feel the same way (she was already in a relationship). After they'd each made their feelings clear, they resumed their friendship - but apparently he always held a candle for her. A couple of years later he got drunk (I'm fairly sure he's an alcoholic) and confessed his feelings to her again. This drove her away for a time, and he disappeared once again. We've recently all reconnected, but I know he's in a bad way because F tells me he's just recently sent her some really worrying texts saying how lonely he is. I'm feeling a bit clueless, I have no idea what I could do to help him. I don't feel like we're really that close anymore, and he's hopelessly inactive - the only way to get him out of his house is drink. I'm not sure that going out for a drink with them both is a great idea given his probable alcoholism, and I don't know if his being around F (who he gets along with a lot better with than me these days) is a good idea either... I'm worried he might do something stupid. Any advice would be welcome. Hi C0ncernedFriend, I want to start by saying thank you - many people who suffer from mental health issues don't feel like they have someone looking out for them. It's good to know that there are people like you helping M out! <3 I would advise getting him to go to the GP and getting an assessment. The GP will give him medication and a referral to psychiatric professionals who can diagnose him and give him professional cognitive and psychological help with depression and alcoholism. Tell M that it hurts you to see him like this, and you want him to feel better like you used to? The alcohol will also need to stop as well - he's merely escaping from the pain of reality, rather than sort out his feelings or issues. For his loneliness, perhaps he could join a support group in the local area, or get involved in a group activity like volunteering? You may also want to contact Mind (Mental Health Organisation) for further advice. Much love <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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