Jump to content
Mental Health Forums

New to this! :-/


Ziba

Recommended Posts

I've just been diagnosed with EUPD. I've had mental health problems since I was 12 I'm now 32 and the Dr's are just startingto help. It's been a long time coming.....I have spent my entire life pretending to be someone I'm not and it has left me in a complete mess! I don't know who I am anymore and dont know what I enjoy either.

It's an awful feeling.

 I live in London with my partner i have no friends here I've tried working but I find it hard, (too much pressure) I have 3 children which I have had to give to their father full time as I had a breakdown 2 years ago and I didn't feel I was giving theme the best up bringing. They live 300 miles away now and i sometimes feel very guilty, but everyone says I've done the best thing and that I'm very brave doing what i did , but I punish myself most days, I can't seem to be happy anymore,my children  are very happy well balanced children. So I don't worry about the, to much  but I feel like it's my time to sort myself out.

 it's so hard making the first step. Ivery tried work ,college ,socialising but I find it very hard to stick to anything, also I find it hard to trust anyone I think people dislike me and talk behind my back its a no win situation I feel lonely but won't commit tof anything. I can't see a way out anymore....I have a very simple life with a great partner who tryst his best for me but it's never enough, I still feel empty. Can anyone suggest a way for me to make friends who won't judge me on not having my children, because that's what happens if I meet people. They eventually ask personal details  (I can't lie) I've tried it makes me very uncomfortable. 

 

Thanks,

Ziba. X

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Ziba,

Welcome to the forum. It's not so active nowadays, but you still get the odd member pop up here and there :)

Sorry to hear about what you've been through. Luckily for you, you're still 32, so you have plenty of time to work on yourself and repair what you need to. Think of it as a new start, where you make some changes to work towards a happier life.

Personally, I found that building up my own self esteem and confidence was the key to opening up socially and being more comfortable around others. You stop doubting your own abilities so much, and can focus on talking to others. I think you may struggle to build up social skills without addressing the underlying issues of trust and feeling empty. Once these are sorted, you should see more stable and comfortable friendships pop up :)

Much love <3

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...