Girlfriend with BPD

2 posts in this topic

Hello people,

I have been with my girlfriend nearly 6 months now, when we first became a couple she was still in hospital ( she was hospitalized for two years).

I never knew her before she was in hospital and we only met around Christmas time just gone so things did pick up quick.

I was aware of her mental health before we was together  and I did a lot of research before we even got together so I could try and understand,  she was an amazing human being so it did not bother me, at first it didn't show very much, this might be a lot to do with still being in hospital and having therapy most days.

Everything is good most of the time, I do feel she handles her BPD really well, or she at least hides it very well.

In the last week or so she has cut down her Quetipine which has a really negative affect due to withdrawals I'm guessing, things are getting very intense and it's now everyday she's really upset and snapping at me for small things, for example we was meant to go and visit my dad but I change my mind a few times in a week and she got really angry with it.

I went to play tennis with a female friend the other day and she got really upset and wouldn't really talk to me and started having second thoughts about us, saying it's easier to walk away than deal with, she also smashed a bowl the other day which is the most aggressive I have seen her as she usually handles it well.

I feel like her mental health is slipping away more and more, she no longer gets therapy (since march)  as the waiting list for NHS is two years she got told the other week, we are going to look in to private therapy and I've offered to help pay for this as she cannot afford it alone.

I am struggling with this because when she gets upset or angry I always think it's my own fault and I try help her and it's really stressing me out as I want to help, I do always ask what's wrong which seems to make things worse so I do try and just let her be but it's hard, sitting there seeing her suffer.

She gets very jealous and wants to self harm if I hang out with a girl, I do reassure her a lot that I only want to be with her and that I would never leave her, but it doesn't really help a lot of the time.

The other problem I have is with her ex, she is best friends with her ex (female) and they sleep round each others, she says there is nothing other than friendship but they do say things like I love you, but she insists it's just as friends. when I confront her about this she gets really annoyed and defensive, which then causes her moods to get worse. She makes me feel like I'm in the wrong and I should be okay with this and just let her do it,  so I always end up saying it's okay but then I can't help bring it back up as it really hurts, her ex also has bpd, what doesn't help this is the fact she told me she prefers girls to guys (I'm a guy).


 she is such a lovely person and I really want it to work with her, I am trying hard to stay positive and was hoping for advice on how to help her and how to deal with the mood swings.


Any help will be appreciated, thank you :)

Edited by SPURS1

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That is the punishment for having eaten from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil— a tree cultivated to thrive in a spiritual world but uprooted and forced to grow in the material world. Just to recognize themselves as co-creators, they have to create the manifestation of their thoughts just as Elohim brought them into material existence. If one continues to create horror stories and to move in and through that loveless reality, eventually it is played out, and there is a choice to be made -- that we are not the victims either of ourselves or others, but have the power to create or destroy, through love and hate, all that we experience. In other words, in the material sense Truth is not only relative, but blemished in order for it to have any value whatsoever.

Zavada, J (2014-03-17). The Wager (Kindle Locations 369-374).  . Kindle Edition.

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