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ReallyScared

Petrified...Please help!!

4 posts in this topic

Hello! 

I'm new. I'm not sure if im posting in the right place. I would be so grateful for any advice that could help me that anyone can give.

I am probably going to be diagnosed with BPD and I am so scared. I am petrified.

I have suspected I have BPD for about 15 years, but have always managed to avoid a diagnosis. Two recent high risk suicide attempts and my problematic alcohol use (quit 1 month ago:)) has led to a doctor (occupational health) suggesting this diagnosis today. I'm scared. It was hard to hear a doctor say this out loud for the first time today. I have tried to hide my symptoms for literally years because im scared. I also saw my CBT therapist today and I'm pretty sure he is working towards also bringing this up. I haven't been referred to CMHT yet, but this is what the OH doctor suggested today. I'm seeing the GP tomorrow about it.

I'm really, really scared of stigma. Maybe I have done too much 'Googling'...but I have read so many bad things about how a BPD diagnosis can affect people. Is the stigma true? Is it widespread? Are some health professionals understanding? Will I be denied help in a crisis? Will I be denied medication when I need it? Will I be rejected? I have a million thoughts whirling around my mind. I keep crying and my anxiety is currently through the roof.

By the way I am in my late 30's! Can anyone say anything to reassure me?

 

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I think you might have done too much googling about it, As anyone can, Better to take it with a pinch of salt than wholeheartedly believe everything you have read from it... You get stigma with anything not just BPD, I personally would not say it was widespread from my experience and others I have read/heard about... 

Yes you do get health professionals are caring, Some aren't but that does not mean because of BPD, Some won't understand as its not their field or you may feel some just do not care as you cannot click with them...

No you won't be denied help in a crisis, But try and reach out before it gets too bad for your own good if you can... 

Not everyone with BPD gets given med's, So it's not about being denied it, It's if their think you need it... 

Rejected by whom??? I cannot see that happening but yes at times some people do but that is life and not because of BPD... 

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Hi ReallyScared,

I don't think it's a bad thing to google about your mental health condition - sometimes it can be really useful to know what misconceptions people may have so that you can address them if they come up and iron out any issues. What's more, you may even have some preconceptions yourself that needed addressing. Stigma exists for sure, not only for BPD, but for all mental health concerns, but these are diminishing with time. In the Western World, society is becoming more accepting of mental health concerns, and we as the mental health community need to work with society in order to break these walls down. Stigma may exist, but it cannot be transferred into legal action - for example, it is illegal for an employer to reject you or fire you from a job because of your BPD. In my experience, health professionals have been really understanding. They may have their own opinions, but they are employed to help people that need it, so that trumps whatever they believe. You won't be denied help in a crisis or medication if needed - if anything, that's when the authorities will intervene more and help you out. 

I can understand why your anxiety would be rocketing sky high about this, but the important thing to know is that repeatedly thinking about every worst case scenario does nothing to help you feel at ease, nor does it change how the world works, and it certainly does no favours to your mental health. If possible, try to understand that these things are as they are, and you are more than capable of facing them when they arrive. You've already shown a lot of bravery to come online and share your experience, so I'm sure you'll be able to handle any issues that come up really well! :)

Much love <3

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Hi, the word that jumps out of your post the most is fear. My husband is diagnosed with BPD and his fear is being abandoned, rejected, mocked and excluded. I am guessing you feel a bit of this too.

But BPD only describes a way of life that arises from a set of circumstances in your past (usually childhood abandonment or abuse) and your head is trying to make sense of it and your chaotic life is only you trying to survive. If they are any good, doctors and therapists will know that too. BPD has many forms and some are milder than others, but all can be understood and to some extent treated. 

Don't be scared that a tag (BPD) will change things. It's only a name for your worries and feelings. What you have to concentrate on is understanding yourself and being kind to yourself. Not everyone will do that, but many will. So take heart!

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