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Mollie

Daughter with BPD

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Mollie

Morning everyone, 

my experience of living with a daughter with BPD has shaped and ruled our whole life for the last 15 odd years, she is 28 years old and had at least 7 lives already, her fall outs with people, drug taking from 13 years, self harm, shop lifting arrests, fights, destructive telationships, a bad car accident at 16, several car’s written of, debt after debt, and rehab stays, suicide attempts and two children aged 2 and 7 - the 7 year old has Autusm and they both now live with us and have regular contact with her, because she can’t deal with them! I could go and on for hours, after a terrible Xmas involving more drama, during which she told me how I have been a terrible mother and she never really felt loved ( she was my princess and was totally adored) I did nothing but cry. ( we took her and her brother round the world and tried to make them feel loved and secure) insult after insult I have finally reached my limit, I can no longer go on supporting her because she is destroying me, my husband and I are looking after two very hyper little boys that are bouncing of the ceiling and driving us to the brink with no empathy or sympathy from there mum, in my daughters world it is all about her, about her pain and her loss, we have no right to feel any of those things because she is the centre of the universe. She hates me and tells my grandson I am the mad one etc, I actually agree - she has made me feel at times total insane, questioning my actions time and again, I gave up a business, a job in mental health and more recently another business to support first her and now the boys.  The only reason I can safely say I’m ok is because of the remarkable support of my family and friends.  I feel reading about BPD that I am failing her by walking away but when do we say ‘enough now’ other people need my time and my attention not to mention I need my life back, my husband needs his wife, etc, I could support her and put her first until the day I die and she would still stand at my grave and say I didn’t care! I have nothing left to give, I have tried my absolute best to give her what she needs and yet I still feel like a failure.  Is it ok for patents or carers to walk away? Please tell me? 

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Rob

Sometimes you just need to say enough is enough and protect those closest from the caos..... But leave the door open a little bit as bpd does calm down with age(I hope). 

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