tg0121 Posted March 5, 2018 Report Share Posted March 5, 2018 hi I am completely new to this.. I'm a 24 year old male and I have been living with 'issues' for as long as I can remember. I went through a tough times as a child my mom was a drug/alcohol abusive, she was violent towards my dad and I had to move away where I was raised none other than the saint of my step mother. I was put through therapy at about 8 years of age. people thought I had attention issues because of family background. I haven't seen my mother since I was about 14 after realising the person she was.. anyway at the age of about 17 where I began to feel like I wasn't normal I've been a hairdresser since I left school so I should be the bubbly person I come across as but inside I'm the complete opposite. I struggled to stay in a relationship with women because of trust issues and past experiences. and to trust other people around me. at the age 19 I became very depressed and although I still worked 5 days a week I isolated myself from others and things around me I became very depressed and suffered with anxiety attacks at work because I was always worrying about what other people thought or what customer was going to come through the door etc.. I decided to go to the doctors where I tried therapy to erase these illusive thoughts I was having way too often. they offered me anti depressants but from my experience of other family members being on them I didn't want to go down that route.. Things got better for me when I allowed myself to meet an amazing woman who I expressed these feelings with and it felt a lot better because I knew I had her to come to home to, who is now my fiancé we were then expecting a baby and at the age of 23 that did give me a motivation to do something I decided to change career but things only went down from there as the baby was born way very premature and did not survie for longer than a few minutes, we then both went through a bad few months as anyone can imagine. I then went back to the doctors last year after this happened and decided to take myself back to the doctors as the illusive thoughts were a lot worse and a lot more frequent questioning everybody and everything around me feeling hurt and betrayed but with no one to blame. after a little bit more group therapy which i had to have because 1-1 sessions were not available for 4 months (which to be honest is not much help at all sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers identifying things which you already know) then the doctor gave me 20 mg of citalopram which i have been on since august last year. After a few intense weeks I did start to feel a little better but struggled a lot more with sleeping and felt very zombie like. I do not see how a pill can help overcome anything. if anything it makes you feel more isolated and insecure about yourself knowing you have to take something on a daily basis. I am now down to 10mg of citalopram every other day but I don't feel better about anything since taking the dosage! Not too sure what I'm looking for but anything would be great... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maikensy Posted March 22, 2018 Report Share Posted March 22, 2018 Sorry to hear about your story here. Hope someone will give your better ideas. All the best! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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