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recovery struggles

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I'm in recovery from self harm and suicide attempts due to my BPD... I'm a year and a half free of overdosing and I'm 9 months free of self harm. Even though this should be a huge achievement for me, and everyone says it is, i can't help but feel I'm not recovered at all, like I'm faking being well. Or at least, I'm ok now but if something happens I'll fall apart. I feel like I have no one to talk to, as I'm finishing therapy soon and my boyfriend never really knows what to say

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