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Ballerinarmour

How to find calm in the evening

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Ballerinarmour

I’ve recently been diagnosed and would appreciate some advice please. I’m struggling in the evening to find calm emotionally. I am likely to drink alcohol or smoke to get that calm but I know that these are both unhealthy. My therapist has recommended meditation but I know that’s not enough. Can anyone help please ...

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Saharah Blue

one of the things that helps me is giving myself permission to engage in activities I enjoy. It sounds overly simple, but I am surprised how often I get myself stuck by clinging to the notion that I should be doing xyz instead. Sometimes this permission can be as simple as doing nothing or more involved like being active to clear my head, a long hike or a swim.

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Possum

What sort of emotions are you trying to escape in the evenings?

Meditation can be great, however I find I have to already be in a fairly good place to be able to meditate. 

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Saharah Blue

I agree with possum, meditation takes so much self training to be able to draw on it at a moments notice. If your emotions are intense during the evening, frustration or disappointment then a activity that helps to take you out of yourself is helpful.

Since you are in therapy already, the other option that comes to mind is to give yourself that moment to process what you are going through, even if it means coming home and have a good cry. Being gentle with yourself and practicing good self care during times of processing, leads to a whole lot of healing.

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Possum

Just wondering, have you done Acceptance and commitment therapy or do you know about it? 

It might not sound particularly useful but observing emotions without judgement or reaction can be helpful. If you don't know about it, I can tell you what I've learnt from therapy last week. 

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