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Isis Lewis

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Isis Lewis

My BPD partner wants for us not to break up .. but wants to go to therapy .  He says he can get better .  I'm totally in bits as I was ready to leave.   I do love him very much . I'm so terrible upset & unsure . I just don't want to waste another 3'years of my life if there's no real improvement.   The last 3'years have been a nightmare at times .  I'm so devastated . .  Does anyone know what are the chances of him being better towards me .. please . 

Edited by Isis Lewis

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Possum

Hello! 

Has your partner already had anything like DBT therapy? Is he on medication. People can change, I have Bpd and I treated my partner appallingly over the years but I can honestly say I have changed a lot, I'm now open, I'm honest and I work hard to show him how much I love him. (sadly though he's pulling away from me and changing in a bad way. But that's irrelevant) 

If you love him, I'd suggest you tell him what changes need to happen for you to be able to continue having a relationship with him and tell him what things you will not tolerate. And give it a chance, if you want to? Bpd is hellish and it can make people say and do horrible things that they really don't mean, they're often just projecting their pain. 

 

At the end of the day, you have to decide what you want to do but talking openly and honestly with him about everything that's happening between you is the first step. I don't think making decisions when you are emotional is wise, let things settle, think about everything and talk to him. I hope this helps? Best of luck x

 

 

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