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Louie W

Neglected by "friends"

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Louie W

Hi everyone, before this starts I'd like to mention that I'm unsure where I should have posted this. I don't see myself as suffering from problems as serious as depression, however the matter is making me consider possible deeper feelings. 

Anyway, my name is Louie. I'm a 14 year old, coming on 15. I feel this is important as I would like to consider myself quite intelligent and as a result I am well aware of my possible pubescent feelings and overreactions. However I equally feel like I need to vent my frustration and, as you will soon find out, I don't really have someone physically to go to.

My dilemma is this. I get along well with a small group of people during school, so much to the point where I would call them friends. This has been the case for about a year and a half. That being said, I don’t think they feel the same kind of friendship towards me as I do to them. It seems like they only interact with me when there’s no other option. I’ll give you an example of what I mean. The school week passes with conversation. The final day of the week comes and goes with no real plans being made. Keep in mind that I seldom have something to do on my weekends so I’m always free. (I’ve made this clear to them multiple times.) When to my dismay, I learn on the first day back that their weekend was comprised of fun with each other and going out etc. I often find out about this by either my parents seeing the group out without me and asking why I didn’t go (to which I reply that I wasn’t invited) or through the groups discussion of a particular funny moment or something similar. What’s more, they openly talk about these things in my presence, yet expect me to go unaffected. As you can hopefully tell by the nature of this post, I don’t.

And despise my attempts to show I want to get involved, both subtle hints and literally asking to be involved, my weeks of not doing anything continue. If I’m lucky I’ll get invited to go somewhere, but only if there’s no other option. 

This pattern, this constant cycle. It hurts. I don’t know what my feelings are. Anger? Loneliness? Sadness? Jealousy? Perhaps a mixture of them all. One thing is certain though, I feel alone, abandoned, forgotten. Unwanted. 

I don’t get it, I really really don’t. They include me in school but not out? While everyone else is invited? What am I doing wrong that is inhibiting me from being invited? Am I just a distraction? A tag along that is unneeded in any outside activities? Are they trying to tell me they want rid of me but don’t want to say it like it is? I’m completely lost. Maybe I’m just overreacting. Hormonal. 

I’d love to hear all of your opinions, thoughts and perhaps advice on this dilemma of mine. Am I just an angsty teen? Or do I need to re-evaluate where I place my friendships?

Also apologies if this all sounded very dramatic, I’m just speaking from my heart .

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insomnia92

Hello Louie

I think you are entitled to these feelings regardless of whether your age group is considered hormonal or not.

They sound pretty horrible to be honest,I know it seems pretty crappy but I found that at that age the people you hang about with at school you won't necessarily have a whole lot in common with. You sort of make do with who's there and when you get older and start new hobbys etc you tend to meet people you feel more of a connection with

Obviously it's possible they really aren't aware they're hurting your feelings so unless you ask them directly you won't know for sure, but I don't think your asking that much just for them to think about you when making plans.

I hope things have improved since you posted

Mandy

 

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