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Leemel

please help. bpd breakup and blocked.

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Leemel

Hello,im hoping someone could please give me some advice regarding a relationship breakup of which im finding it very difficult to cope despite receiving medical advice and medication.

I am not diagnosed with bpd although I do have traits,fear of abandonment being the primary.

I had been seeing the most beautiful girl I have ever had the pleasure to meet. It was perfect for 4 months then she started pushing me away telling me I would be better off without her,I would get sick of her etc.

I reassured her I was there and would support her in every way possible.

She has bpd and I believe anorexia too.

It has been a tough relationship which has had an effect on my own health including the loss of a stone and half in weight /depression and anxiety,over the last 4 months of the relationship. She told me she had a miscarriage with me which really effected me and made my love and care grow for her to proportions I have never felt nor given.We never argued until she ended the relationship then we had some small disagreements to which I am ashamed of some things I said.She was trying to open up to me and told me everyone always left her and told me she was abused as a little girl. I told her I would never leave and always support her.

I found her back onthe dating site just before she ended the relationship and when I asked her what was happening she said she was lonely which broke my heart completely.Since then she blocked my phone and has just gone out of my life .It has leftme completely broken and destroyed.I sent her a heartfelt letter about a month ago to no response then almost 3 weeks ago I sent a emerald necklace to help stop negative thoughts,the note that accompanied the necklace simply said...it dosent matter about us beautiful,just you, love forever Lee.

Still no correspondence and still blocked. I am so worried about her but can't do anything to help which I find so very difficult. I have accepted she dosent want me but I can't stop thinking about how she is and to know how sad she is and poorly.She came of medication in February and doesn't have medical support.She told me she has to cope like everyone else does....im so upset for her.

Anyone else going through a similar thing wether you have bpd or not will be so very gratefully received if you can share your thoughts.

I love this girl with everything I am . I just want to help and not be another person who lets her down.

Please help. Please post any replies you can even if short.

Thankyou so much for reading this and I wish you all luck in the future.

Thankyou Lee. X

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Bubblegum36

Hey Lee, 

I'm so sorry to hear this. My relationship with my boyfriend who has BPD just recently ended due to his struggles and he is still continuing to struggle. So I understand this worry that you have because of how much you care. 

Have you ever researched things like "splitting, devaluing?" this might help give you a little insight as to why she is ignoring you and has blocked you. I wish I could give you the answer that would mean you could find out how she is doing but sadly I can't. But I doubt that this is anything personally to do with you personally. I don't think you will find out about her wellbeing right now, if you feel this will continue to plague you then if possible reach out to someone close to her just to ask how she is, but I'm sad to say not contacting her would be the best choice, you sound very caring and like you are in a very difficult and challenging situation. 

If you haven't research what I've mentioned before, then do, it might help give you a bit of closure. But she will be OK, and so will you in time and I know its so hard to believe and feel that right now. I'm in the same boat of hating time and wishing it was all resolved now. 

I'm sorry I couldn't say more, or help more. You aren't alone in this! 

 

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