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Cloe

Advice needed in my relationship (BPD)

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Cloe

Hello everyone, I need some advice on how to deal with relationships. I personally fall in love quick and hard! I go from idolising someone and obsessing and doing anything I can so they wont leave. The problem is after 6 months I start to slowly despise them. This has happened in every relationship I have had. I have currently been with my boyfriend for 7 months and I am starting to dislike him and he has done nothing wrong at all and is actually amazing and understanding with me. I feel like I should stick this relationship out because I know its just my BPD going through the motions but I don't know If I will feel any different in the future?  Any advise would be welcome

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Eagleheart

I was exactly like you in previous relationships, going from adoring them to hating the sight of them and dumping them after about 6 months. UNTIL I met my husband. Don't get me wrong, I still have times when I can't bear the sight of him. But I accept that it's not him. It's me. My BPD playing up. And I just ride out the feelings and they do pass. He is the love of my life and I worship him . He is a lovely man who is so understanding of my issues. And for that reason, we work really well together. But you must come to a place of acceptance and honesty about your BPD. If you can do that, you CAN have long term relationships. I've been with my husband for 26 years now.

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Emma1981

Hi,

I am married, been with the same guy for 19 years. My counsellor has mentioned I may have BPD, although I am still without an 'official' diagnosis. 

My marriage is in difficulty due to me craving the need to be 'in love' right now. We even 'opened' up our marriage to try and accommodate this, but it has caused a lot of stress for 'us' , although 'I' do like the excitement and attention that I get, as I find it eases my emptiness and makes me 'feel'....Its very confusing though as I always want to be with the other guy, even though he's not a great person and my husband I just feel nothing for even though he is kind and supportive. Makes me feel like a REALLY bad person as what's 'right' feels 'wrong' and what's 'wrong' feels 'right' if that makes sense.

But then I feel maybe its not BPD and I've just outgrown the relationship after 19 years and need to move on.... very confusing.....But yes, the newness of a relationship is intense and magical, so I understand that....although I guess after 19 years I know long term relationships do work, but I guess it depends on how easily you can deal with the reality of it. Relationships are always hard-BPD or not. Although I do know where you are coming from.

xxx

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