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I'm worried I have BPD

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I've dealt with depression for several years and suffer from various other issues long story short a lot of these seem to fall into the categorize Of BPD. 


If it does turn out that this is BPD I'm scared where this leaves me am I destined to forever be this ball of untamed rage that could explode at any point is it possible for me to ever really trust anyone or am I forever going to be paranoid that they are out to attack me in one way or another will I always see any form of slight as an outright attack that requires me to respond in kind will I always be looking out for the trick in someone's smile  or  offer of friendship.

I push people away and I isolate my self away . from the world. hoping that if I do this that no one will have the opportunity to leave which I don't want I want . to be loved I want to have the capacity to love someone and not shut myself away from them and. not to be second-guessing everything that is happening.

so on Wednesday, I'm off to see my dr . to ask for help because the way things are now is not manageable if feel completely out of control and for a long my mental health has not left me in a good place so fingers. crossed that one way or another I can come up witha solution 




Edited by tiggers
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