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JoshCo99

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Hey guys! I guess I'm here mostly because I'm scared. I was misdiagnosed for 7 years, but now they're considering me for BPD, and it just feels... Right. The symptoms line up pretty perfectly with how I feel a lot of the time. Right now, I feel lost and scared of both possibilities: The idea that I do have BPD, and the idea I don't. I've not quite thought about how I'm gonna deal with either of those scenarios. I've been really scared recently about my identity and how I just don't feel like a human being, or that I belong in my own body. I look at my hand, and it just doesn't feel like it belongs to me. I'll feel empty and not even realise until I try and form a coherent thought, and it won't appear. I'm really struggling with all of this, and I guess I just wanna be told that it's all gonna be okay.

Anyway, a bit more about me as a person. I'm 19 years old, I'm also a musician (guitar and vocals) who plays folk. I'm a multidiscipline writer and I adore the creative arts. I'm a freelance artist by trade, and that's what I want to keep doing as I get older. I'm a university student at the moment, studying English Literature and Creative Writing, and I currently also work in catering to support my studies. I don't play sports, I do play video games and I'm quite gay, which is the best way of putting that. I have a very loving boyfriend, who has put up with me for almost 8 months, and I love him so dearly. 

I can't really think of anything else to say, so I'll leave it there! Peace out and don't be strangers! Much love to everybody!!! :D

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  • 7 months later...

Josh,

Hi, welcome. Just thinking a moment about what you have written, it reminds me that a good deal of MH symptoms surface when we are under stress and strain and I wonder if these feelings are surfacing as a result of a mix of your current life stresses and possible things in your past that are vying for your attention?

Sah

 

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