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PeteM

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HI everyone....

A little about me... Im a 43 year old man who has no close family left.  I've been diagnosed with bpd/eupd for around 5 years but i suspect (like many others) that I have been suffering with this for more years than I actually realise.  I used to have the best support network with friends and psych's and support workers but having gone through a period where things weren't so bad, I pretty much lost all of it as it was deemed  that I didn't need it anymore. Ive had severe problems with self harm in the past where I have been to hospital several times to have an ungodly amount of cuts dressed (as a result, my arms are now shoulder to wrist covered in scars).

Ive made two attempts on my own life in the past and to be honest im thankful that I didn't succeed and the desire to do something of that ilk is now virtually non-existent.  I find myself in a situation now where I have devoted my life to something in the hope that it might lead me out into a brighter future...only now after some years its beginning to look more and more like my effort has been for nothing.  It hurts more than I ever thought something like that would.

I feel useless....

I have a couple of really good friends left but they too have their own issues that they live with...

I live in the middle of a city but Ive never felt so alone. Im always there for people since I know what it is really like to have no one, but now i need people to be there for me and there is no one.  Its just me again....I feel as if Im fighting a battle with a slippery slope.

thankyou if you have read this...time is one of things that we all give to people but its the one thing we can never take back.  I appreciate the time taken to read this

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