HRB Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 I am urgently seeking any advice or guidance to help get my sister inpatient care. She has BPD and is extremely unwell at the moment. She has the crisis team round daily but it is absoutley shocking service. We are getting told there is not enough funding for her to access inpatient care. Can someone please help give advice or guidance on this situation. I am extremely worried Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saharah Blue Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 Is she currently safe, does she have a therapist or Psychiatrist? That would be a first option to speak with her support staff. If she is unsafe she may need to be admitted through emergency. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsBrown Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 Hello, Firstly I am so sorry that your sister and your family are going through this. I have BPD and I know how tough it has been for my family. Stay strong and keep talking to your support network because you need to take time for yourself too. Does she have an independent MH advocate? If not I would definitely get one asap, MIND usually provide this service but it will depend what area you are in as to what service holds the contract. An advocate knows the system and is there to act entirely in the interest of the patient and represent their views and wishes. I would also urgently contact the Patient Advice and Liaison service (PALS) if you have not already. I imagine she is requiring a tier 4 placement, sadly residential treatment for people with BPD is very hard to access on NHS because there are so so few places, it is absolutely shocking. Often someone has to have multiple short term admissions (often for suicide attempts) before they will be referred. I worked as a caseworker in an MP's office and I dealt with far too many of these cases. (Unfortunately there was very little we could do in terms of affecting individual cases because MPs aren't in a position to challenge medical decisions, but we did consistently raise it as a policy issue). I realise that this will not be music to your ears, but I think it is good to be realistic about the situation so that you can make a comprehensive safety plan for the time being. If in patient treatment is going to be more than two weeks away then it might be good to have a back up, for example when I was left with no support my Mum came and got me from Brighton and took me to hers in Bristol for 3 weeks until I was able to access the support I needed. If something like this is an option then that would be great. If not do you have other friends/family supporting her who you could organise a support schedule with? So someone is checking in with her every 1hr or however regularly you and her think is appropriate? I don't know your sister but I am terrible for saying I am ok when I am not, so if she is like this it will probably be a negotiation so start higher than you think she needs that way she will hopefully still feel like she has had some control in the decision when you come to a middle ground. My apologies if you have already done all of the above, if I think of anything else today I will post again. Ultimately the system is broken and your sister deserves so so much better. I really hope she gets the support she needs!! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRB Posted February 18, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 Thank you both for your reply. She has self harmed several times so is now staying with my mum and dad to ensure she stays safe. She is currently safe atm but we are desperately trying to get the relevant help as crisis team come every day just to give her medication and we have been told therapy is a 6 month wait away. We believe she needs inpatient help urgently. She’s been this way since august but since Christmas she has become very very unwell. I will ring mind today and ask for an advocate. We are looking into a psychiatrist who will do DBT therapy will 2 sessions a week be enough? Is there anything else we can do? Us as a family are distraught... I just want my sister to get better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsBrown Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 I'm really glad she's safe, but sounds super tough for you all! I currently do DBT privately and I have a one to one session and then access to text coaching with my therapist between sessions. They also offer the group, which I am now doing for the second time (which is recommended) to get the skills properly ingrained. I think two sessions a week would deffo be enough, to begin with she may actually find that a bit overwhelming (having BPD is exhausting) so be prepared to be flexible on what the initial approach will be. DBT does not require a patient to be stable before starting treatment unlike many therapies it is designed to work through those crises, but if someone's resources are really depleted they may need time to rebuild a bit before fully getting into a program, trust your sister's intuition and yours. My sister was my biggest support throughout and when i was being assessed my psychiatrist asked to for a family member or close friend to come to an appointment with me so he could hear from her what outside experience had been, and that was really helpful because she highlighted stuff that I hadn't really considered as significant but actually was. If they do the same then make sure your sister gets to decide who goes, my mum was a bit upset I didn't take her to the appt but I knew my sister was the right person for me. I am sure you do already but always remember that if she angry at you or shouting, she does love you, you are doing the best you can, and it isn't personal. It sounds like you are absolutely amazing and it sounds like you are all working well together. My family actually have a whatsapp group that i'm not in where they can check in with each other if I have had a meltdown on one of them, or if I need to update them on something but don't have the spoons to tell them all one of them can post on there. (Also look up spoons theory if you don't know it, it will give you all, especially your sister, a common language to gage where you're all at in terms of energy and resilience) Please do pass on from me that it does get better. Recovery can be long and slow but if you commit to it is does work. I got diagnosed in Nov 2017 and started working full time again in March 2019 in the MP's office. I am actually on a three month work break atm because I realised at christmas I wasn't great and (for the first time ever) I realised it before I got too low and so I decided to take a break and refocus on recovery (hence going back to group) and I am feeling so so much better. It sucked having to give up work but it was deffo the right thing for now. I don't mean to be me me I just want her to know that this is not how it will always be, and if she is generous and kind with herself life will be worth living again! Sending solidarity and strength xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRB Posted February 18, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 Thank you so much for taking the time to reply and thank you for your kind words. You sound like you are doing really well and it is great you know the tools and what to do when you may need a little time to recover and get better. Yes we have a little what’s app group Thank you for your positivity it has made me feel so much better talking to someone who has borderline especially as most texts online can be negative. I will have a look at spoons theory now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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