Even though it did not know what it was meant for, it yielded against better judgment a lesson by having taken psychiatric drugs. This contributed to the level of suffering to make life collapse, which later turned out to be the intention to repay evil with good by asking: who?

The idea that 'I' am suffering is exactly that, an idea. Not true. It found out that there was no 'I'. No 'I', so no suffering and therefore no problem. Although there is no 'I' who can complain about anything and the body can take a drug until death, it can try to let this instructive, blessed but useless 'medicine' be. As of today, it has started to gradually withdraw with 25 milligram less. The family, spiritual family and psychiatrist Bart Simons are supportive.

Do you want to support this body, possibly mutually, to let go of Quetiapine?

I was given the diagnosis of BPD many years ago in my early 20's. I am now in my late 30's. 

When I was first given the diagnosis I was horrified that a professional could use the word 'disorder' to describe my personality. Since then I have had a mixed experience regarding my label being helpful/unhelpful.

Id love to hear from others on your experiences of receiving a diagnosis/label and whether or not it has been a positive/negative experience.  

Many Thanks 

I rang up in distress today saying I couldnt cope. I'm relatively newly diagnosed borderline, even though ive been on this borderline forum 8yrs, with CPTSD and addiction issues, plus general lack of commmon sense with some unofficial autistic traits thrown in.

Anway, the last two cpns, current one and last one were both offhand, and those two are not, by far, the only two rude sounding ones i have come across.

If I was a cpn, i would understand the need to be firm but fair, however, i would be gentle in my manner and never make my patient feel as if they cannot come to me to talk. Surely being a good cpn involves being a good listener?

Is it the funding cuts?

Did all the cpn's who cared about their patients leave due to frustration at not being able to affford to offer the help the patients needed?

Were all the sadistic sounding ones left. I'm addicted to valium again and none of them understand how painful this and z drugs are to come off. This urse is half my age and talks to me like im a piec of shit saying "I've got lots of other patients to deal with" in a snotty voice, instead of saying "sorry, SW, I cant promise what time i will ring, it depends on my workload" in a calm voice.

I feel like complaining about her but i dont know who to, but if enough patients complain about her, maybe she will get the message she isn't popular and needs to sort her attitude out.

Can anyone else share their experiences with snotty care coords with bad attitude and rude tones of voice?

He was patronising.

He seemed amused by me.

He made a lot of assumptions for no reason like that my mum gave me emotional support and didn't seem to believe me when I said she didn't. I would never have said anything to suggest that.

I told him something that had happened to me and he said he didn't believe it had happened.

He didn't seem to think the threatening behaviour I've been on the receiving end of was a problem.

When I became upset he told me he hadn't done anything to upset me. I don't believe it was intentional but by distancing himself from it it made me feel like it was my fault and I should kill myself immediately.

I told him I wanted to kill myself but he said he didn't think I needed mental health support.

I explained why I wasn't happy with my medication due to the very heavy levels of sedation, I can easily sleep for 12 hours. But he didn't see that as a problem if it helped my mental health, he just said use an alarm clock but that wasn't my point. I don't think it's healthy to be that heavily sedated every night and I feel more refreshed on 4 hours sleep without medication than any number of hours with medication. I also believe the fatigue I feel throughout every day contributes to my depression by making it harder to find the energy to do anything or concentrate on anything. I think it's very important for me to discuss other options with a psychiatrist, it could be we'll decide to stick with the heavy sedation but I think it's reasonable for me to concerned and I believe it's my right to discuss other options. The cpn thinks I should continue taking it because "it works" which I'm not sure about anyway. I will discuss the matter with my GP but I would rather speak to a psychiatrist.

He said someone would be in touch in a few days, it's been several weeks.

He also kept receiving phone calls throughout our meeting, I don't think his phone should have been on.

He gave me a questionnaire to fill in about our meeting but he gave me the one for carers instead of the one for clients. Anyone can make a mistake but he made so many mistakes it doesn't seem so much human error as another sign he wasn't really that bothered.

Specifically how to get referred, how easy it is to get funded on the NHS, and for people who have sought this course of treatment, how helpful you found it.

Thank you so much. xx

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I think I have managed to be seen by an actual psychiatrist once in my life, who I waited the best part of a year to see. 

GPs (God bless them) and these case-workers who they make you go and see while they decide whats available - don't seem to have any practical help at all or any understanding about what treatments work and when. They aren't allowed to diagnose you, they aren't allowed to suggest anything they just go to and from between you and a panel of doctors of some sort.

And if i have to hear how i can call samaritans (a charity not an official line of medical help) one more time i'm going to explode.

It's shameful how little anyone knows about diagnosing and treating mental illnesses.. yet we have these token mental health units that basically wait for you to do something serious and then "save " you. In my case they just ignore me.. they say they'll call and they don't . They say your names on a list and to wait and then they lose your name. And sorry but even the person answering the phone sounds like a 6th former who's not had any training on how to talk down the phone at work.

NHS Mental Health care is a joke.. there really is no excuse in the 21st Century to not be able to design effective services for so many people. They need to sack the person in charge

my discharge session which my psych didn't even bother attending (she didn't attend my last 2 or respond to my letter) went something like this

how is your mood? low.

do you ever have negative thoughts? all the time

do you ever feel like life is too much? frequently

do you ever want to die? every day

do you ever hurt yourself? yes

do you have people around you giving support? no

do you feel you could get support if you needed it? no

ok I'm going to discharge you then!

I am in the support group and a welfare officer on a well known online benefits help site said that to qualify for the support group, if you are a self harmer, the doctor has to specify in his evidence letter what would happen if you were made to work or do work related activity.

I told my CPN this, and she refused to write me such a letter, saying that the letter with my BPD diagnosis on from last june should be enough.

This is just not true, the DWP have really tightened up.

With the NHS being how it is, and with my current CPN not budging on this matter, can anyone suggest what I could do.

I go to see my psychiatrist on Thursday, but that is only about starting me on a valium taper, controlled by the drug agency.

I am already tapering at my own rate, and starting to feel a bit poorly physically now, been anxious from withdrawal a long time, and the drug agency want to speed up my taper, which will be disasterous in terms of me being more poorly, what with rushed benzo tapers causing more health problems.

I think I am going to go back to bed for a few hours, I only got up about an hour ago, but I don't feel so good.

Thanks

As well as mental health issues I have fibromyalgia, osteo arthiritis and chronic sleep problems.  I just wondered if anyone has tried CBD Oil before for either sleep or pain relief.  I know this may be the wrong forum to ask but sometimes we have other dx aswell and am a little lost about it all.

Thanks in advance if anyone has anything to offer, much love

Daisy x

was put on trifluoperazine at the end of may

2 mg but things aint going well

my house has been taken over by instruments being played in a horible way and no matter where i go in the house i cant get away from them

i feel trapped

my shrink was meant to call me this afternoon to talk about how i was getting on and he never called me

called mental out of hours comunity mental health team this evening to get the shrink to call me tomoro morning as i am not coping

got an appointment with him on the 15th but i don't know what i'm supposed to do in the mean time

i'm really struggling and it seems like there is no help when you need it and interference when you don't

there is no middle ground....

if i didn't have my guinea pig to look after or support workers to get up for i wouldn't get out of bed at all

I feel so ill!!!

my head feels like its gonna crack because everything is really loud and i cant handle it...

people sound like they shouting at me when they're not

somethings went wrong with my internal mixing desk and everything is at full volume

its sending me mad....

But some of the actual therapy worries me.

I told her I was raped when I was 15. She said "that's terrible you haven't had sex for 9 years". That kind of threw me a bit. Isn't the fact I was raped the terrible thing? And isn't not having sex my choice and my boyfriend's? He's asexual. If I start wanting sex, how can we have a relationship?

She seems to think she has more idea than me of what I can handle. She says I shouldn't be aiming to be a first-aider because that's impossible (even though I have one certificate already that says I'm a first aider). She says my aim shouldn't be about passing the course (waste of £120 then!) but having a social conversation with one person. Not only is that much more difficult than first aid (I can discuss patients, ask the correct questions and convey relevant information), it is not my aim! This course is something I take seriously and my aim is to learn and perfect a skill and be ready to use it is necessary. It isn't a way of making friends and if I start hoping and dreaming of making friends, I'm going to be devastated when it doesn't happen. I don't want to feel devastated about not making friends. I want to feel proud of my achievements.

Also, when I said I had trouble making friends she said "maybe you should try being nice to people, then maybe they'll be nice to you". That REALLY hurt.

She kept saying "but that happened in the past. The past doesn't matter". Maybe it shouldn't matter but isn't the point of therapy to try to stop it from mattering? Being told it doesn't matter doesn't stop it mattering. If that was enough I'd have got over it years ago. Yes it does matter. Yes the things that happened were terrible. Every time I tried to talk about the past, she was cutting me off, telling me it was the present and future that mattered. So that means I can't talk about it? To my therapist?

I think I might raise some of my concerns in my next session.   

I'm a newbie on here, but definitely not a newbie to mental health problems. Im 31, female and have BPD .I am trying to battle really low moods at the moment as naturally as I can, as I really dislike all the side effects I get when I try anti-depressants and the whole weaning myself off them.

I don't want to be an emotionless robot, I'd just like to be a lil bit more level headed .

I exercise regularly , I'm following slimming world and have already lost over 3 stone and feel so much more physically fitter, but mentally ...I'm  better then I was last year when I couldn't leave the house, but I just battle with low moods, staring into space when I feel like this feeling unable to move like I'm floating on a cloud ...

This is getting worse as I'm trying to get myself back into work and I'm probably putting too much pressure on myself.

I want to try something herbal to level my moods and keep me calm when I get stressed out. Any recommendations on any remedies and where I can get these from would be greatly appreciated please??

Very kind regards,

thank you so much for reading this,

FoxLadyG 

xx

I am writing this thread to appeal for help from sufferers of BPD or PTSD or CPTSD or ADHD, and who are receiving benefits from the DWP

I am nearly 50 and have tried to get a diagnosis all my life.

In Jan 2015, things started looking positive, when I was referred to an autism assessor. Although he felt I had some autistic traits, he did not specify which, as he felt like I was displaying signs of ADHD.  He knew I was a substance misuser, but he acknowledged that although it's harder to diagnose, its not impossible. He also told me that lots of adults with ADHD have had amphetamine addictions. I used to be addicted to amphetamine, but now I am only addicted to pregabalin and valium.

I am tapering off pregabalin, and tapered off valium once. I misuse drugs not to get high, but to get through the day.

I cannot cope with people, they overwhelm me. I get more frustrated and stressed around them and when I get stressed, I have this strange behaviour. I lose control of my temper and turn it inwards on myself, banging my head on the wall, or with objects, bitin myself, hitting myself, etc etc I have done this all my life, but I cannot seem to get the cpn or any other mental health staff to understand as they always blame the drugs, no matter how much I stress I have been like this all my life.

Back to the autism assessment, I Got referred for an ADHD assessment and saw a nurse who said that I displayed signs of ADHD but would need to return to the clinic to see the psychiatrist who can diagnose for sure, in case it's just anxiety. I have a lot of adhd traits and they have interered with my schooling, my work, my relationships and many other things.

Anyway, when the day came for me to see the ADHD diagnoser, I just could not face making the 45min train journey and bus ride to the clinic so I told them I had flu and they were really sympathetic and said they would send out another appointment.

A week went by and no letter received from them with new appt, so I rang and they said they would send one out, then, half an hour later, i got a call from a private number saying the clini did not fund patients from my county anymore and I would have to apply for funding from my GP who said she will when I am off the drugs. The drug agency are really dragging their feet, and i said to the CPN that I had to score illicit valium in the meantime to avoid withdrawals. The CPN said not to come off it too quick as I tried to and got withdrawals so went back on. This means I have to keep using illicit valium in the meantime, but the illicit valium could contain any dose, and i need an even dose to taper from.

I also think I have PTSD from past chronic long term emotoinal abuse, but I never thought to mention this to my CPN who I have seen about 3 or 4 times.

My ESA/DLA reassessments could be due at any time, and as you only get 4 weeks to complete the form and get all the evidence together, I Was advised by benefitsandwork to prepare it in advance, so that when the ESA50 comes in, you can just fill it in and send it all off, but my CPN said she would not write anything until I get my ESA50, despite me saying I Wanted to be prepared in advance, to reduce the stress I am feeling. Same with DLA or PIP as it's now known. I am on a lifetime DLA award, but  I heard that the DWP are reassessing lifetime award claimants for DLA to PIP first. I don't think I can cope with having to contact the CPN within the four weeks of receiving the forms because its  not enough time, as I only see her once every 2-3 weeks. i won't be seeing her for another 7-8 weeks, because she said that is  how long the psychiatrist will take to send for me, as she is referring me to a psychiatrist on my request.

She kept saying she does not know what she can do for me, even tough I reiterated the problems I have, see bullet points below

1. I've never been able to go out witout crying or panicking. I get home deliveries and use taxis. Can only go out if I use codeine.

2. Can't tolerate stress or frustration, causes meltdowns flailing arms and legs, hitting and biting self, throwing things, damaging things.

3. Cannot connect or relate with people, phobic of them, easily upset.

4. Vulnerable, can't take care of self, easily exploited and fooled.

5. Never had zest for life, no libido, cant be intimate, cannot keep friends, vulnerable to abuse. Bad family relationships.

6. Lethagic, no motivation, used to be called lazy.

7. Could never control emotions.

8. Feel sick or faint during conflicts of any sort.

9. Forgetful, make lots of errors, the chaos of my life is what fuels the anxiety.

10. Get over excited or the opposite, no happy medium.

11. Impatient

12. Can't organise or prioritise

13. Addictions, was gambling, then drink, then drugs

14. In conversations I fly from one subject to another, and interrupt.

15. I miss important things out when reporting something, or passing on messages. Can't answer questions on the spot.

16. Get meltdowns if I don't get enough solitude or privacy.

17. Self medicate to stop self breaking down or falling apart not to get high.

18. Sleep in same clothes or dont get dressed fpr days, I use wet wipes on vaginal and anal areas to avoid smelling.

19. The world moves too fast for me

She didn't seem, from my view to know what all the fuss was about.

I also showed her two boxes of pills that I had planned to OD on, because someone online said that the particular med I obtained could kill me, but I was put off by the doctor telling me that it can't kill me. She wanted to know why I told the doctor, and I told her that the GP has records and I Wanted it noting down on my records that I had been planning suicide.

She could not understanad why I was so worried about benefits, and I Wanted her to know I was not being mercenary, I just didnt want to lose my home if my ESA/DLA was stopped.

Even though I have seen the CPN 3 or 4 times, i know there is important stuff I have forgotten to tell her, but I will not get chance now, as I won't be seeing her until my psychiatrists appointment.

I have seen loads of shrinks in the past and none of them have been able to give me a diagnosis.

I think I have ADHD and I have CPTSD and possibly BPD but I get the impression that my CPN doesnt believe me.

When I had the autism tests, questionnaires was sent out to my mum, who did not put down the fact that I lost my temper and self harmed even from being a toddler.

I never had chance to tell the cpn about PTSD because of the limitted amount of time we have together due to her heavy caseload. I'm worried that she might think I am making things up.

When I told her I qualify for DLA carers, which I get, I told her I leave appliances switched on, she sais why don't have a caerer who comes in once an hour and even then, ,what about the other 23hrs of the day? I said because the benefit is based on what you NEED not what you GET.

Same with the ADHD tests sent out to my mum, she failed to tell them important things about me when I Was a kid, and I could not produce any schohol reports that had ADHD traits as I am 49 years old and have been left school years, so most reports were lost.

If my CPN doesn't understand what all the fuss is about, how am I going to get my diagnosis(s) from my psychiatrist?

If, like my CPN says, none of them will provide evidence, if they discharge me, how am I going to get the evidence required to demonstrate to the DWP that my outbursts of rage are a safety risk and I have care needs that qualify for some level of PIP?

I read on some literature online (dunno if it's true) that a GP's letter of medical evidence does not carry much weight if you have mental illness, but I could not stand the stress of the appeals process, I think that would finish me off.

I have now booked in with a drugs agency to help me get off drugs, even though substance misuse is a symptom of an underlying disorder WHICH I WANT DIAGNOSING so i can have an idea what drives my addiction/

I worry because I feel that the CPN does not believe I would lose my temper and throw a tantrum outside if I was not on illicit drugs.

I am relying on illicit valium, as the drugs agency and GP are takign ages to decide if they will give me a proper supervised reduction and script of valium, and I will stop taking other drugs, but I am scaerd of what will happen to me if i lose my temper as I have given myself black eyes, split my head open, and even tried to strangle myself with a scarf one time.

Considering I am very near suicidal, the CPN doesn't seem phased, in fact it gives me the creeps a bit that my death should mean so little to her, like suicide is normal. She said I seem to want to live, but I said I fear being in a position where I am forced to take my own life in the future, and that suicide is a last resort.

Could anyone help me with what to say to the shrink, my CPN wil accompany me.

I want to stay in the support group because if I end up doing work related activity and having one of my turns, threatening the safety of others, that would scare the life out of me, but if no one is prepared to write evidence then what?

Also, benefitsandwork say the DWP want specific evidence to qualify for support group reg 35, where you are a safety risk, and the GP's notes I have had in the past have not specified the evidence the DWP needed, but, back then, I had a psych nurse who was prepared to write me a letter of evidence that helped get me in the support group.

Sorry this post is long, but I woulld appreciate help on it and again, I dont mean to offend

Do the DWP view illicit drug use as a bad thing or do they view is as something that makes you unfit for work related activity as well as work?

Sorry for all the questions, thanks

have only been on the higher dose since monday night so maybe this will stop as the week goes on...

hope so...

Was just wondering if anyone else takes this? can't remember the other name, something like apriprazole or something like that.

I am having serious restlessness, and its driving me up the wall, however, things like my mood i think are better, along with less problems with paranoia and the issues I have around certain voices I hear.

I am skeptical these days, and I don't know if I want to be on such a strong drug. See my psychiatrist soon so will bring it up then, but would appreciate any input from people here

Thanks

Egan

I have been on Lyrica since late 2012, its deleted my memory and when going back to uni las year i started detoxing as i could not think of words, would leave baths running... go upstairs for somehing to forget what I'm looking for etc etc. I started dropping the dose in sept, and got an all over body rash in Nov, for the first time. I am now cursed with skin problems, hives, blisters, burning skin, red marks, its not scabies, ringworm, etc etc i've been to the gp several times. Its started in my scalp and eyes now and its horribly 'burny' and itchy'. Calamine lotion and loose cotton clothing is my friend.

Im just wondering, has anyone else on this popular drug experienced skin problems? Thanks. 

Best wishes for the season xx

Benway

Not asking for myself, I was on it for a short while, but for diff reasons so not really relevant...

so just wondering about others experiences with it, what dosage, side effects etc? And if you're okay with sharing why you were put on it, that would be great

S has been put on it to help him try get over to sleep on a night as he really struggles, a low dose, but he was feeling quite anxious and has taken 2 tabs as his gp had said it will help reduce his anxiety and help him chill out a little, but he's feeling drowsy on it.

I've tried explaining that its a common side effect, regardless of how low a dose, but his gp seems to have given him a diff story, so just wondering what others have been like with it please!

Taaa xx