Alters Having Accounts

[Maize]

I don't know that much about it. The only thing I would like is a name for what sabotages and ruins everything for me, so I can maybe learn "why" and likewise maybe it will stop. Biggest part of me doesn't want to know about it, except it messes me up in so many ways I can't ignore it. I just want it all to go away, but no!

[Warrior Princess]

What's happened Maize? Talk to us.

My husband is an USA citizen. It's perfectly ok to be one.

WP

[Maize]

It's hard enough to deal with without all the negative scrutiny, arrogance on the part of some and judgment going on here. There's no fucking way I'm going to put myself out there around these animals.

[Warrior Princess]

Not everyone is animals. Only some parts of us.

I'm sorry you have been hurt.

Please try to focus on what is helpful about the forums and on the people who are supportive. The rest put in the virtual garbage bin where it belongs.

Perhaps a trip the vent section of the forum will help blow off some steam.

WP

[Maize]

Good advice, thanks WP.

[Roses]

I think this is shocking. Did is a real problem and terribly distressing 4 the personalities. Can we not just get along? I dont understand and i am very upset by this prejustice.

[Peregrine]

I'm not comfortable with this forum, too cliquey, too judgmental criticising my diagnosis AND being "american" is totally fucked up. WTF!!! I couldn't talk or share now if I wanted to.

Fuck you all, you fucked up people, over there in fuck-up land!

I am very sorry to hear that you feel this way. What you have written is a very strong comment to make and it does leave me feeling sad. I know that I have asked a lot of question and raised doubts in previous threads but I thought in trying to ask as many questions as I could I can understand a bit more and gradually form genuine compassion. I really have never come across a person with DID and this is all new to me. I am very sorry if I have upset you in such a deep way that caused you to voice your anger so radically.

Mental health problems in general are still stigmatized and I think part of the problem is that there ARE people out there who milk the system to the detriment of others who really need the help. On top of that, it is in human nature to be cautious and suspicious - no-one would trust anyone just like that and you have also voiced your mistrust in people here, so I think you should also leave a little bit of leeway to others who feel the same.

It would be really nice to get to know you as YOU and I am sure there are lots of people who are more interested in DID than taking a straight-against-it attitude.

I do hope that in talking about all of this is helping all of us involved which WILL make this forum even better than it already is. From my very personal point of view, if there is anything I have said to upset you it was unintentional and I am sorry. DID is new to me and comes with a great pinch of curiousity.

Pere xxx

[pepsimeg]

Hey i just want to add my two pence worth

As a sufferer myself it was not MY choice to start another account, i do not want them here but they got on whether any of you belive it or not so its not as easy as oh lets all stay together, some dont want to be with me either

sometimes i have switched whilst on my emo account without realising, its not a concious choice as some may suggest, but whatever i am trying to keep them separate but they will sometimes pop out when they want in mid post or thread, i appologise its confusing, its confusing to me also and very frustrating when i read things that i havent wrote , it all does my head in and i dont like it either, sometimes i just want to go and hide

Emo xx

[Wynter Grace]

I'm not comfortable with this forum, too cliquey, too judgmental criticising my diagnosis AND being "american" is totally fucked up. WTF!!! I couldn't talk or share now if I wanted to.

Fuck you all, you fucked up people, over there in fuck-up land!

Do you not think that comment is judgmental?

If you don't feel comfortable here, then don't be here! I personally don't care where you or anyone else is from, because that doesn't matter!

There are lots of people here that will support you, if you give it a chance.

x

[Dani]

i dont know much about it myself.i too have been confused

with the seperate accounts and the fact it appears to have all happened at once.

but WP post with the possible reasons for this has helped me to understand a little bit more.

Emo- dont apologise for confusing some of us...i know im only confused because of my own lack of understanding on the subject.I would like to look into it a little more.

Maize..you appear to be taking this very personally and im sorry you

are upset by it.however telling memebers to fuck off is hardly going to help.i agree with wynter.

[Warrior Princess]

I use to take everything personally but I needed to learn to grow beyond that because it was not productive. I have learnt some DBT skills such as: radical acceptance of others and letting go of 'useless' righteousness. Not that your righteousness is of no use, more that it's of no use to your well being.

I'm not offended by this discussion. I actually am glad it's all come up because it gives me a chance to talk about what goes on with me. Usually I'm too scared to mention it so it's opened up a lot of doors.

Maize I can understand your anger and frustration but please know, it's no one's fault that they don't understand DID. Just as it's no one's fault that they HAVE DID. How can we possibily expect people to understand something that they don't experience. Even my alters have acknowledged this and don't expect to be accepted by everyone. Be secure in knowing who you are and that you are real. Then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because you can quietly rest in the knowledge that you are legitimate.

With RE: to the separate accounts, I think the choice should be up to the individual person and their needs. I know that some people feel discriminated against for not being DID and not being allowed to have this separate account, but for us, if they admins say no more separate accounts for DID patients I'd be perfectly fine with that.

I am in agreement with Bibbidi and others who have said that the separate account should have something about it that lets others know it's from a DID person who has another primary account. Alters are never an excuse for bad behavior and both accounts should be subject to the same consequences if rules are broken.

WP

[jam-parker]

Hi all,I'm finally getting a word in edgewise with my alters. Go me! I'm on the mini lap top so excuse any typing errors. It's such a small keyboard.

I just wanted to say that I am so proud of everyone in this thread for being able to openly discuss a highly contraversial subject with out it becoming a huge horrible debate! I can see both sides and relate to both sides of the argument. As someone with DID, I have been through massive denial about the dx and I have asked all the very same questions that Toaster and others are asking. I can only speak from my own experience here so I will tell you what my life is like as a multiple.

How do they hide from people? Main way they do this is pretend to be me. They are able to pull that off nicely since they know me better than I even know myself! They also make conversations brief when they need to and make up excuses why they need to leave. They also have a network inside that they can draw on. Example, if it's a little one and someone we know comes up to us, they can ask one of the older ones to switch in and take over so it's not too obvious that they are a child.

Next point. You would be absolutely amazed at how people don't notice the changes. I have switched three times in one sentence in front of a church group and my husband commented he was shocked that no one seemed to notice it. If they did they may have thought I was just a bit wierd, which I've been called my entire life, or they may think I'm just in a bad mood today, or a sad mood, or a wierd mood, or a playful mood. Some who don't know me might even think I'm high but I do not drink or do drugs,smoke or even drink caffine!

So life as a multiple is a web of lies often No multiple likes that. We are not liars by nature, we are protective of each other and they are very protective of me as the primary personality. Alters are also pre programmed to keep secrets. It's the very nature of the abuse victim. They may have been threatened or some one/some thing they love was threatened if they told. They may have been told that they would be in trouble if they told, or that it was bad behavior to allowe what was done to them so they would be in deep trouble if they said anything.

So when you get use to all this secrecy its very easy to hide. Alters are so unaccepted. They often suffer from a long history of rejection. Not just during the original abuse, but also after when they finally start to come out of the closet and admit they are there. Even we host personalities often reject them which only serves to worsen the condition.

So why are they all coming out now on this forumn all of sudden?

Here are my theories and I'm not judging anyone!

1. The alters all triggered each other. I have found this with in me. It only took one to say "here I am" and all the others suddenly felt safe to come out. Sometimes wanting to all at once which caused "mega switching" opr spinning. I certainly hope this is not my/our fault and that has been greatly on my mind. but then again if alters are really there it may not be such a bad thing.

2. The alters are lonely, and have no one like thenm to talk to so seeing another alter speak is causing them to seek friendship with someone they can relate to.

3. There may be a minority who are making up alters for attention. If this is so, then they obviosly have a deep need with in to be accepted when they feel unacceptable as themselves. If this is a way they can explore that, then like Lily said, who are we to judge? I just take it all with a grain of salt. To me the ones who are doing this will fade out and on to the next attention seeking phase. We all need attention sometimes so why not?

4. (This has been the case with me in the past) Usually when the alters come out they go else where or offline. I have disopeared for periods of time and it's very often an alter who didn't want to tread in my turf and make a fool of me. ALL alters are there for the benefit of the host even if they have forgotten this fact. Through therapy I have a pretty good relationship with all of mine and they did not want to embarass or discredit me so they would just go awol.

5. My alters have come out on here before and sadly felt ignored . It's a huge fear in an alter to be ignored/rejected so it's easier to pretend to be the host or say nothing and just go do something else other than the forum. Maybe seeing other alters post gave them the strength and courage to talk to that other alter thinking that surely another like them would understand, not ignore and not reject them.

6. This reason is personal. I've heard from them that they feel it's their fault I'm not a moderator any more. I just want to clear the air... it's not. I'm just in a phase of great need myself and I needed you guys! As a mod I held back a lot of myself. I also felt I could serve you just as well as a general member. You are in fantstic hands with Arrakis and Aurora.

That's all. Sorry for yet another short novel from WP

WP

thank you for this insight wp, it is invaluable for me. xxxxxxxx

jamie

[Silverwolf]

I use to take everything personally but I needed to learn to grow beyond that because it was not productive. I have learnt some DBT skills such as: radical acceptance of others and letting go of 'useless' righteousness. Not that your righteousness is of no use, more that it's of no use to your well being.

I'm not offended by this discussion. I actually am glad it's all come up because it gives me a chance to talk about what goes on with me. Usually I'm too scared to mention it so it's opened up a lot of doors.

Maize I can understand your anger and frustration but please know, it's no one's fault that they don't understand DID. Just as it's no one's fault that they HAVE DID. How can we possibily expect people to understand something that they don't experience. Even my alters have acknowledged this and don't expect to be accepted by everyone. Be secure in knowing who you are and that you are real. Then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because you can quietly rest in the knowledge that you are legitimate.

With RE: to the separate accounts, I think the choice should be up to the individual person and their needs. I know that some people feel discriminated against for not being DID and not being allowed to have this separate account, but for us, if they admins say no more separate accounts for DID patients I'd be perfectly fine with that.

I am in agreement with Bibbidi and others who have said that the separate account should have something about it that lets others know it's from a DID person who has another primary account. Alters are never an excuse for bad behavior and both accounts should be subject to the same consequences if rules are broken.

WP

coming into this discussion late, just wanted to chuck my opinion in to the mix

Thanks Lilly, for clearing this up as to double accounts etc for Alters cos if I remember this was originally said back in August/September last year, that if anyone had DID diagnosis they could have a separate account for alters as long as spoke to Admin etc about it, and with them being more vocal at the moment it's good to have the situation reiterated especially for new members that wouldn't be aware of original posts. (wow that was a long sentence!)

DID may be a controversy as to different medical opinions, but then so has many psychiatric diagnosis' been at one time or other. Also as others have said, the idea is that alters were created during trauma so it stands to reason that while they may or may not each have mental illness individually, they do still need a place to speak and heal their hurt parts. Also this is way of listening to the whole person by listening to all their parts/alters etc.

I agree that it would be good if - like WPs alters - other alters could add in their signature who the host is so that members can understand links between different members accounts on here as it'll make it clearer for everyone especially new members.

But overall whether to have a separate account or not we be a decision for each host and their alters to make.

To clarify for others who don't know, I have regressed to a much younger age in times of stress recently. (young childs age) It's only happened 3 or 4 times in last 6months and affected my posts when on here. Not aware of it being a separate personality (not diagnosed DID) so wont need a separate account. but as it could cause confusion and seems to link with this thread as it's part of Dissociative response thought should add here this explanation here.

x

[TizzyGirl]

I use to take everything personally but I needed to learn to grow beyond that because it was not productive. I have learnt some DBT skills such as: radical acceptance of others and letting go of 'useless' righteousness. Not that your righteousness is of no use, more that it's of no use to your well being.

I'm not offended by this discussion. I actually am glad it's all come up because it gives me a chance to talk about what goes on with me. Usually I'm too scared to mention it so it's opened up a lot of doors.

Maize I can understand your anger and frustration but please know, it's no one's fault that they don't understand DID. Just as it's no one's fault that they HAVE DID. How can we possibily expect people to understand something that they don't experience. Even my alters have acknowledged this and don't expect to be accepted by everyone. Be secure in knowing who you are and that you are real. Then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because you can quietly rest in the knowledge that you are legitimate.

With RE: to the separate accounts, I think the choice should be up to the individual person and their needs. I know that some people feel discriminated against for not being DID and not being allowed to have this separate account, but for us, if they admins say no more separate accounts for DID patients I'd be perfectly fine with that.

I am in agreement with Bibbidi and others who have said that the separate account should have something about it that lets others know it's from a DID person who has another primary account. Alters are never an excuse for bad behavior and both accounts should be subject to the same consequences if rules are broken.

WP

Agreed, nothing else to add

[jam-parker]

Does anyone have any useful links to articles on friends of alters although from reading this thread, I think most of my questions have been answered.

I decided at the start that everyone here is an individual in their own right, and nothing will change that.

Thank you

Jamie

[Maize]

I'm sorry I got very triggered. tc everyone

[Maize]

I'm in a lot of pain with this stuff. I can't take one more blow from anyone. My mind is already so completely broken.

[jam-parker]

I'm in a lot of pain with this stuff. I can't take one more blow from anyone. My mind is already so completely broken.

Maize

If you want to talk I am here but it takes time through pm'ing I am on msn and if you just want to rant, rave , cry I am understanding and very patient.

It is upto you, just do what is best for you. Hugs.

Jamie

Sorry for the highjack

xx.

[Maize]

I'm in a lot of pain with this stuff. I can't take one more blow from anyone. My mind is already so completely broken.

Maize

If you want to talk I am here but it takes time through pm'ing I am on msn and if you just want to rant, rave , cry I am understanding and very patient.

It is upto you, just do what is best for you. Hugs.

Jamie

Sorry for the highjack

xx.

Thank you Jamie xx You're sweet and so kind. It helps just to know you're here. :)

[Warrior Princess]

Does anyone have any useful links to articles on friends of alters although from reading this thread, I think most of my questions have been answered.

I decided at the start that everyone here is an individual in their own right, and nothing will change that.

Thank you

Jamie

I'm not sure what you mean by friends of alters. Do you mean friends of people who have DID?

WP

[jam-parker]

I'm not sure what you mean by friends of alters. Do you mean friends of people who have DID?

WP

I do Warrior Princess, sorry I am not at my best at the moment. Is DID the official name? I am avoiding reading up about anything until after my Dr's appointment. And so much is new to me here.

I have read alot of what you have written and it has helped me to understand alot.

Thank you

Jamie

[Warrior Princess]

Yes DID is the new fandangled name for it. It was formerly called Multiple personality disorder, but some shrinks decided that this only encouraged the condition since it recognized that the personalities were actually there. Stupid! (hope I don't switch here)

Be careful looking things up on the internet because there is always good and bad info out there.

WP (phew, made it)

[jam-parker]

Yes DID is the new fandangled name for it. It was formerly called Multiple personality disorder, but some shrinks decided that this only encouraged the condition since it recognized that the personalities were actually there. Stupid! (hope I don't switch here)

Be careful looking things up on the internet because there is always good and bad info out there.

WP (phew, made it)

Warrior Princess

I think i'll read through the thread again as I have found it most useful. I guess I was looking for good information by not looking for it on the internet, but by putting it to someone more knowedgeable than I.

I am asking because I find that if I can't work through my process I cannot follow a course of action. However the information provided in the thread should be more than enough. I guess I am trying to not upset anyone by saying or doing the wrong thing. I do find your right about the changes to conditions based on current thinking, and I have yet to find what mine is.

Thank you

Jamie

[Wynter Grace]

I'm not sure what you mean by friends of alters. Do you mean friends of people who have DID?

WP

I do Warrior Princess, sorry I am not at my best at the moment. Is DID the official name? I am avoiding reading up about anything until after my Dr's appointment. And so much is new to me here.

I have read alot of what you have written and it has helped me to understand alot.

Thank you

Jamie

Sorry if I'm being nosey, Do you think you know someone who has DID?

xxx

[jam-parker]

I'm not sure what you mean by friends of alters. Do you mean friends of people who have DID?

WP

I do Warrior Princess, sorry I am not at my best at the moment. Is DID the official name? I am avoiding reading up about anything until after my Dr's appointment. And so much is new to me here.

I have read alot of what you have written and it has helped me to understand alot.

Thank you

Jamie

Sorry if I'm being nosey, Do you think you know someone who has DID?

xxx

In the real world no, I have a process I follow and I am simply wanting to make good friends on this site.

So I thought I would ask those who know about did if they had a good weblink providing good advice for a friend of someone who had did.

I thought it would help me to be a better friend here on MHF.

So if anyone has a good web link providing useful informsation for me and my interest in becoming a good friend of MHF members with DID, please leave me a comment with it.

It's ok if no-one has any information. (Phew).

Thank you

Jamie xxxxxxx