rufusmoo Posted April 23, 2013 Report Share Posted April 23, 2013 Im in a DBT group and just massively struggling. I have completed core mindfullness and interpersonal effectiveness. They were ok but I think i'll repeat the last one. I'm in a group now with a different cohort of people and different leaders. I hate it. iT'S emotional dysregulation and it makes me angry and want to self harm lots. aT BREAK i HAD TO GO IN THE toilets and bang my head on the walls to deal with the anger and disappointmentof how shabba it is. The sessions are slow and padded out, fecking useless and I get so angry I can't join in/ refuse to waste my brain power on thinking of answers to stupid questions. Im an arrogent sod I know A bloodie monkey could sit there and hand out bits of paper and talk nonsense for 2 hours. WASTE OF TIME -ANGRY WASTE OF TIME -PISSED OFF WASTE OF TIME -DESPERATE WASTE OF TIME-CONFUSED WASTE OF TIME-MY EXPECTATIONS WERE SO HIGH FOR THIS DISAPPOINTMENT-this was meant to be good! BETRAYEL- I was lied to and have been let down. WEIRD AIRY FAIRY reading from a damn handbook... RUBBISH-If I could see the psychologist like I asked 18months ago I wouldn't have to do this...maybe. This is supposed to be helping me get better but it's CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!! Did I mention that's it's MASSIVELY SHITE??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 23, 2013 Report Share Posted April 23, 2013 Hugs to you, i totally get this, i am 9 weeks into DBT have done mindfullness and now i am starting emotional regulation for me it isnt helping its crap but they keep telling me keep trying but i feel its making me worse and i feel pressured as this is meant to help, can you tell them you feel like this? I usually tell my one to one therapist he is actually very good and the only reason i stay in the group is so i can see him xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyStrange Posted April 26, 2013 Report Share Posted April 26, 2013 I agree what a load of fucking crap. I'm not in the program yet... the rapid access hospital (pre-program)group co-ordinators seem to have conspired with my psychiatrist to decide that I'm not ready to attend DBT yet. Oh well. Like I give a goddamn fucking crap. Like I want to sit around with a bunch of women with group leaders that will probably piss me off that will likely be female too! I don't want fucking group - I want private! I swear they pawn this shit off on us to save money. I was short listed for the group... this was months ago. I was told one more month. haha thank god i'm set back I see my psychiatrist next week for a follow up. I get to tell him that NO I didn't try out the Cipralex he tried to make me shove down my throat... and no I don't want the shitty DBT either!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted April 26, 2013 Report Share Posted April 26, 2013 I feel I have to chime in here. I think with everything, every kind of therapy there are people it will not work for. What suits one may not suit another. But to say DBT is to save money for instance that's not true, DBT has been researched probably more then any other therapy for BPD and has been shown to be effective 80% of the time. Its in group for a reason, everything about DBT is well thought out. DBT is not a quick answer, there are no quick miracle cures. Practice is everything practice practice practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyStrange Posted April 26, 2013 Report Share Posted April 26, 2013 My psychiatrist is quoted in the local newspaper here as saying it also saves money! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine001 Posted April 26, 2013 Report Share Posted April 26, 2013 dbt has been proven to help people recover and not continue to need other costly services for years and years, so in that way its a good investment. lots or research into its helpfulness. for me dbt on its own, being more skills based cognitive approach is not an i would want, as i know what i should do now I just struugle to put it into practice and need somewhere i can make mistakes and not be judged, eg a group or tc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted April 26, 2013 Report Share Posted April 26, 2013 I've never had DBT but from what I have read about it my biggest problem is that it doesn't deal with the causes. I agree that coping in the here and now should be the emphasis but you also need to understand why you are how you are and what made you that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyStrange Posted April 26, 2013 Report Share Posted April 26, 2013 Yes.. DBT is great for some. Not for me. It's not going to fix what's wrong in my life. For them to pawn this off on me is wrong. And the once a month psychiatric visits do fuck all to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rufusmoo Posted April 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2013 Emily, (you sound really angry in your posts-I can relate to this x) When I was on sick leave and had come out of hospital I was in a state and was on a huge waiting list for DBT so I went private with a psychotherapist for as long as we could afford-a few months. In short-he saved my life. He was positive, we talked about some of the reasons I was like I was and he got me through a rough time whilst I was on the NHS DBT waiting list! He is the ONLY ONE who has helped-because I went private. Psychiatrist-what's that? Haven't seen mine in 8 months and when I do it's "So how is your depression?"- I don't have depression. 5 minute chat and then off you go...psychotherapists are the only way forward as far as I can see-DBT...Stands for Don't Bother Then!!! Would like to hear some success stories. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rufusmoo Posted April 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 27, 2013 I've never had DBT but from what I have read about it my biggest problem is that it doesn't deal with the causes. I agree that coping in the here and now should be the emphasis but you also need to understand why you are how you are and what made you that way. I sooooooooo agree with you here! Lets treat the symptoms and not the cause! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted April 27, 2013 Report Share Posted April 27, 2013 Dealing with the cause is not always the solution, it has a place yes but for example; one might learn to understand why someone has issues regulating emotions, you might get where it comes from and how it works for you but that doesn't mean youll then be able to regulate your emotions as that is a skill that needs to be taught. That is where DBT comes in it teaches skills and tools that many of us didn't learn as children ,things that help you for instance form better relationships. The other way can be true too that you learn for instance to regulate your emotions but are still depressed often because you haven't dealt with your bad childhood. What I am trying to say is that both can be true and its too easy to say one kind of therapy is better then the other as it depends on each individual case. I also read people say quite often on the forum;Ive read about DBT and think its not for me or not good because.... Please let me point out here that reading about it is very different from actually practising the skills and getting them taught. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shortiee.x Posted April 28, 2013 Report Share Posted April 28, 2013 I can see both sides of this. I remember thinking " what a loaf of crap" when I started mindfulness. It took me a long time to just open my mind and think " ok they say DBT will help let's give it a shot" the day I did that, was the first step to DBT being helpful. I have to say, a lot of my DBT skills have been helpful a while after completing it, I've had no DBT for about 8 months and I'm starting now to realise that it did work for me. If you just see it as a course instead of therapy, and even if you practice two skills, you're a step or two better than you were in your recovery. It takes a lot if hard work and a lot of faith. And you may not notice the difference for a while. I haven't met anybody who didn't get to this stage in the early days. If you can sit with the "Shit" feelings and thoughts towards it, then you will hopefully start to benefit x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 28, 2013 Report Share Posted April 28, 2013 I find dbt very invalidating, its like they are saying i'm stupid. I have had anxiety for 19yrs and panic attacks and what i feel dbt is saying oh go for a bath or do some mindfullness and your anxiety will pass, for me thats crap and makes me really angry, years i have struggled to be able to walk into a shop or take my kids to the park or the doctors anxiety has ruined alot of things if it were as simple as a bit of mindfullness wouldnt it be brilliant. It makes me feel like a failure that if this is so great why doesnt it work i have been doing this stuff for years. CBT helped me get through things and i still use what i learnt in CBT he was a brilliant therapist and really listened, sorry i know people think DBT is everything but it makes me so angry cause i just feel pressured by it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyStrange Posted April 29, 2013 Report Share Posted April 29, 2013 Maybe it's effectiveness lies in who you are as a person. I'm not sure it will work for me. I sure as hell can't stand Yoga and meditation. I know DBT is different... but I can sense now that it may not be for me. I have issues with doing homework, and things I perceive as airy fairy. I don't know what else I will do. I'm starting to feel impulsive again, and lower and will need to be heard at my next psych. visit next week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shortiee.x Posted April 29, 2013 Report Share Posted April 29, 2013 If you try to get into the mindset that it doesn't take away negative feelings, it helps you to understand them and to cope, that's what DBT is for its not supposed to take your bpd away. You have a headache, you take a pain killer, DBT is like remedies for different symptoms of bpd. Please master to help reduce vulnerability. Distraction to help you cope with intense emotion. They say mindfulness tackles impulsive behaviour which I agree with, but they also say mindfulness helps prevent or bring you out of dissociation ...unfortunately that's something I find very hard. It's not easy at all, and DBT isn't a solution for everyone. For me personally, yep brilliant. Sit with it for a few weeks before you make a choice xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rufusmoo Posted May 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2013 If you try to get into the mindset that it doesn't take away negative feelings, it helps you to understand them and to cope, that's what DBT is for its not supposed to take your bpd away. You have a headache, you take a pain killer, DBT is like remedies for different symptoms of bpd. Please master to help reduce vulnerability. Distraction to help you cope with intense emotion. They say mindfulness tackles impulsive behaviour which I agree with, but they also say mindfulness helps prevent or bring you out of dissociation ...unfortunately that's something I find very hard. It's not easy at all, and DBT isn't a solution for everyone. For me personally, yep brilliant. Sit with it for a few weeks before you make a choice xx Thanks for being so positive x Still think it's a useless waste of time but mindfulness has been helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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