How To Find A Private Therapist

[Christine001]

Hi,

Wondering how people have found their therapist outside of the NHS? I have googled gone on websites and registers but just wondered what made you decide on the one you choose. Just seeing a name on a register is not enough for me to pluck up the major courage I need to go and see them.

oh and to add the reason I am looking to private is because the NHS have basically said they can't help me unless I wait another 18 months and then no certainty.

thanks

[pepsimeg]

I know how you feel about finding one Christine. I was unsure too but guess I was lucky cos I asked my ex nhs therapist if he recommended anyone and he did which was great for me.

Good luck

Emo xx

[pepsimeg]

P s

I have never looked back. Personally finding a private therapist worked much better than nhs in many ways.

For instance I have a tendency to push ppl away if they getting too close so I used to back off if it all felt too much. She understood this and would remind me she was waiting for when I wanted to return which I did many times and she would always welcome me back but you could not do this with nhs one as they have time scales etc. Slowly the pushing away became less. Plus private therapist was more flexible and had more time to work with me and atmosphere at private place was much nicer and I never felt rushed or time was up after an hour. So many positives.

Sorry I have gone on a bit lol

[jenny1471]

Hi

Just wanted to say at I will reply to this tomorrow if I can. I have some thoughts about looking in to the type of therapy, so for example psychodynamic, person centred etc. but also some websites you can look on along with their accreditation.

Unfortunately I don't have time now but will come back to this

Hope you are ok

Xx

[jenny1471]

Hi Christine

I wanted to reply to this as it's something I've done research in to myself. Can I just say though that this reply is coming very much from MY experience and my background, so do whatever feels right for you.

Personally I would say that looking in to the TYPE of therapy would be the starting point. I am not wanting to put any therapies down or anything, but I'm quite aware that I will LOL. For me personally, I know that something like like 'humanistic counselling' would not work, i.e. where a counsellor more or less reflects back to you what you have said, they listen, let you steer the session etc. That most definitely does have its place but for me personally I need someone who has been trained for specific things, to a deeper level.

My understanding is that normally a 'counsellor' (in the UK) has been trained to this level, however someone who is trained as a 'psychotherapist' has had more training. So it may well be that therapy is more what you would be looking for as opposed to counselling?

But yes, the type of therapy... I really believe this is important. I do realise this isn't actually what you're asking in this thread, but in a sense it does need to be thought about because depending on the type of therapy, it will influence where you'd look for a therapist. So for me personally I knew I needed someone who could work with attachment. Because my issues are very 'attachment' based. So after some research I found for me personally things like 'attachment based therapy' would be good (I just can't get that in my area) or something like psychoanalysis or psychodynamic therapy. I settled for psychodynamic as I was actually scared of analysis although now am wondering if I should've done that!

But anyway, yes, there are of course lots of other types of therapy and it could be worth reading a bit about a few types to see what feels right for YOU and your needs as you know yourself best. It is very rare to find MBT or DBT privately but you never know. CBT could help if that feels right for you etc.

So once you have an idea on the type of therapist you'd like to see, that can help narrow down the search. I would suggest you only see people who are accredited and a couple of the big accreditation places are UKCP, BACP, BABCP, WPF. I think there are tonnes more I just can't think! But the UKCP and BACP have search options.. as it sounds like you've already discovered anyway.

And yes it's hard to choose I think from literally a list of people all saying similar things. But sometimes you can look at their websites, see if there are photos. Maybe fire off emails to a few of them and see what feeling you get back from their responses as that would say a lot about them. You could say a bit about what help you're looking for in your enquiry if you felt able and like that may help... because then you can see what their response to that is. It is difficult but I do personally believe starting with the type of therapy is a good place to start.. then you can find the accrediting body for that type of therapy and search from there? If you needed cheaper options you can normally also contact training agencies and see if they can offer you cheap sessions (bearing in mind this would be with a trainee), so for example the Bowlby Centre for Attachment Therapy offers cheap therapy for 3 times weekly therapy with them, with a trainee.

Anyway, sorry for the long reply with quite a waffle which doesn't say that much more than to maybe start with the type of therapy and take it from there. I personally found my therapist on the UKCP website but I filtered it by psychodynamic as that's what I felt I needed. Remember, of course, the first therapist you have an assessment with may not be right for you and that's ok.. try out a few. Also, do be careful with regards the NHS as it may go against their 'rules' for you to get private therapy? Or if they found out you had that would they say that you didn't need NHS therapy in the future? Maybe something to investigate.

Hope something works out for you

xx

[Data]

My personal criteria would be:

• Must be BACP or UKCP registered (or a psychologist)
• Must have experience in areas relevant to me: mental health, alcohol, personality disorders
• Uses techniques which I am comfortable with: I'd go for person-centred but in the past I found psychodynamic helpful
• Must be reasonably priced
• Within travelling distance
• Ideally has postgraduate qualifications (masters degree or doctorate), although this isn't essential
• Looks like someone whom I'd get on with; I can't put this into words, but there hasn't got to be anything on their website or in the initial phone call that would put me off.

[jenny1471]

My personal criteria would be:

• Must be BACP or UKCP registered (or a psychologist)
• Must have experience in areas relevant to me: mental health, alcohol, personality disorders
• Uses techniques which I am comfortable with: I'd go for person-centred but in the past I found psychodynamic helpful
• Must be reasonably priced
• Within travelling distance
• Ideally has postgraduate qualifications (masters degree or doctorate), although this isn't essential
• Looks like someone whom I'd get on with; I can't put this into words, but there hasn't got to be anything on their website or in the initial phone call that would put me off.

Agreed! And put much better than my waffle! :)

[jezzie_jay]

I've seen several counsellors over the years. Some i saw for months and months and got nowhere. I can't advise on where to find a counsellor, but i would tell you to follow you gut instinct from the first session. Its very important that you click with your therapist, otherwise you're not going to make any progress. The best counsellor i saw did more for me in two weeks than the other more expensive one did in two years. So if anyone is looking for a counsellor in South Wales, i can point you in the direction of the best :)

[lonelyheartemma]

I used the counselling directory website as a starting point and then read their profiles very carefully. A lot of them also had personal websites which are also worth a look, some I discarded after seeing their websites. Maybe it's unfair to judge them on this but our mental health is so important yet so private, you don't want to take any risks.

Something you could do (though it might be illegal or something) is to make up a new email address with a fake name and then email about your problems and see how they respond. If the response is negative then you know to avoid them but they don't actually know who you are. You could even talk to them on the phone if you are comfortable with that. If you like how they respond you can then contact them as yourself. Your life is very private and personal and you are vulnerable and therapy doesn't have the same anonymity as being online, you need to do whatever it takes to protect yourself to the extent where you feel able to ask for help.