Is It Really Working?

[SusieQ]

I got massively angry in my therapy session last night - so much so that I struggled to sleep last night. Now I'm knackered, and I have to work until midnight tonight. Great!

Sometimes I'm not sure if I believe in therapy. It feels like its going so slow. My therapist says I'm making progress, but I'm not sure if its because of the therapy or because of all of the other things I am doing for myself at the moment.

Also, she always wants to talk about the same stuff, my relationship, and I want to talk about other stuff, my past, my job etc. She seems to think my partner should also attend therapy. I don't know if I can be bothered to try to persuade him. Its hard work and I'm not sure if he's up for it. He's not as much of a masochist as me.

I'm wondering if its time to move on and find another therapist, or just take a break for now. I always give up like this. It's too hard and I feel like they don't always listen. It's also a lot of money to fork out for something when you're not sure you're making any progress.

I hate all this doubt. I wish there was a simple way to map my progress sometimes.

[Threemoons]

I get the doubts too but can't go off therapy as without it I fall completely apart. I think I've the chance to have a very good psychiatrist so I'll keep on with him. Maybe voice to your therapist that you feel unheard about the other aspects of your life? Then depending on what she answers you'll decide if you stay or change therapist. Good luck and have courage! Hugs.

[lonelyheartemma]

((((Antarctic Leech))))

My drama therapist (who I saw ages ago) was a bit like your therapist in that he always chose what he talked about, he had his pet subjects and pet theories and I felt as silenced and unheard in his therapy sessions as I did in the rest of my life. I stuck with that for quite a while despite wanting to give it up but I don't feel I had any benefit from that at all. I don't look back on it and feel glad I stuck with it, I wish I'd stopped it sooner and saved myself some stress. It was worse having someone to talk to and being stopped from talking to them than it was to have no one to talk to.

It was definitely much better in CBT (which I've just finished) because I was able to say what was on my mind and receive some validation. I'm still not sure if the actual therapy helped (I was only allowed 15 sessions which for me wasn't enough to be sure about anything) but it definitely was good to have someone to talk to about everything that was on my mind. That was really important for me and helped me with getting through from fortnight to fortnight and I do think some of the benefits of this has stayed with me because I can remember some of his validating words.

But all through CBT I just didn't know if it the actual techniques were really working and now it's finished I still don't know if it helped. I've decided to get a private therapist so I can continue CBT but I have no idea if it will help or not (and if it doesn't it might be more to do with the therapist than the therapy). I think it has the potential to help me but I don't think I've done enough therapy to be sure. There were some things I never talked about because we ran out of time.

I agree with Threemoons that you should tell your therapist that you really want to talk about the things that are on your mind rather than just talking about the things she thinks are important. She might not agree to it and if she doesn't you can think again about if the therapy is working. But your therapist might be more than happy to let you say what you want to say and then you might begin to feel you are making progress. It is difficult to feel you've made progress when the problems in your head at the beginning of the session are still there at the end.

It does sound awkward that she wants your partner to attend therapy too- she might or might not be right but you know him and she doesn't. Some therapists in the past have tried to persuade me to have certain conversations with my mum but I know her and I know that it would go badly and that it would make me suffer even more than I usually do. There are times to experiment and make new suggestions but there are also times when you know when something is a bad idea.

[maddy harper]

Maybe keep some kinda written record of your progress so you can look back and see how far you have come. Just a thought.

[basimelhabashy]

you can take advice to your doctor.