successful_workthru Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 Today I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder after giving psychiatrist the following list of symptoms, which is fine. Drug dependency Can't leave home or make eye contact without self medicating. Can't tolerate stress/frustration-sudden rage turned inwards on self Isolate self Had 25yrs of daily abuse from parents/ school bulled, workplace bullied Can't tell when I'm being manipulated or exploited Can't trust anyone Get flashbacks of abuse Can't deal with conflict or stand up for myself Can't use phone without getting wound up and poss self harm Autism assessor said I had autistic traits but more ADHD (will be assessed once off drugs) Obsess and fixate on things, suicidal ideation, planned it in December but not sui now. I lose lots of items, causes frustration and rage Ca't relate to people, social chamelion, superficial friendships Can't bond with people properly Can't be intimate so couldnt be a mum Can't describe feelings in words Don't wash/dress for days, depressed, sit in pyjmas in daytime My counsellor said childhood dickensian My worry is this. I'm worried there has been a misunderstanding, and if I ring up and tell the truth, my BPD diagnosis might be taken away. I'll explain further. The psychiatrist asked if I heard voices inside or outside my head and I said outside, when I once had psychosis, but I forgot to tell him I only ever heard voices once when I had an amphetamine psychosis years ago. I've never heard them since. I am worried that he is under the impression I still hear voices and that is what he has based his diagnosis on, and I'm terrified that if I tell him I no longer hear voices he will take away my BPD diagnosis away from me. He also said something about chronic abuse and PTSD but chronic ptsd not recognised like normal ptsd, and that it now all comes under the heading of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder, or Borderline. I've spent years trying to get this diagnosis, but do all people with borderline hear voices? If I tell him I only heard the voices when I did the amphetamine years ago, will he take away my BPD/Emotionally unstable personality disorder away from me? My fear is getting his letter and it saying I do hear voices, and then me telling him I only heard them when I took too much speed, and him taking away my diagnosis? Do all borderliners hear voices? Is hearing voices a must for a borderline diagnosis?, or, is it possible to have borderline without hearing voices? Many thanks in advance, cos I don't wanna be without a diagnosis, as I wont have access to the DBT, as they won't give me it if I am not diagnosed as borderline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ratherin Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 I have BPD and I don't hear voices as for taking away your diagnosis, I have no idea, it depends what you scored or how many criteria you fit into I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
successful_workthru Posted June 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 11 minutes ago, Ratherin said: I have BPD and I don't hear voices as for taking away your diagnosis, I have no idea, it depends what you scored or how many criteria you fit into I think. He didn't say anything about a score or how many criteria I fitted, he just mentioned above. As I gave him a note with bullet points on, this saved time, but there was very little time. Do you think I am just worrying un-necessarily, I do tend to 'look for' things to worry about, not because I wanna worry, but to 'check everything's ok' and if I feel not right about something I worry. I self isolate, becausee I think if I had to spend too much time with people, there would be much more chance of me having one of my turns, I told him these involved losing temper, sometimes writhing round on floor, biting and hitting self. I forgot to thank you for replying sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemis84 Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 I don't think 'hearing voices' is a criteria for being diagnosed with EUPD. I don't hear voices in the traditional sense and to be honest no-one has ever asked me outright if I do or don't. It certainly wasn't part of my diagnosis. I know you say you want the diagnosis in order to be able to access DBT etc (which you should be thankful exists where you live at all - doesn't where I do) but PLEASE remember that we aren't our label, we are people who have a mental health condition and it shouldn't be about saying this or that in order to get a label that fits how you want it to. I know that may sound harsh, and I don't mean it so but I have experienced a lot of judgement by people who just see me as 'another borderline' and I feel strongly about that. I do hope you get the help you need and can begin on the road to recovery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walker Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 have never heard voices and have dx of bpd hearing voices is NOT part of the criteria for a bpd diagnosis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimboski Posted June 2, 2016 Report Share Posted June 2, 2016 I think you're going into panic mode after fighting so hard to get where you are. Hearing voices is not part of the criteria as far as I am aware. I don't think you'll have the diagnosis taken away for say that you have heard them in the past. For what it's worth, and I hope it helps, I did tell my psychiatrist I had heard voices but it was only during a period of psychosis during a long binge that ended up with me being briefly sectioned and placed on a ward. I think they are looking for the 'bigger picture' when diagnosing and not isolated cases. Hope that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
successful_workthru Posted June 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 4 hours ago, artemis84 said: I don't think 'hearing voices' is a criteria for being diagnosed with EUPD. I don't hear voices in the traditional sense and to be honest no-one has ever asked me outright if I do or don't. It certainly wasn't part of my diagnosis. I know you say you want the diagnosis in order to be able to access DBT etc (which you should be thankful exists where you live at all - doesn't where I do) but PLEASE remember that we aren't our label, we are people who have a mental health condition and it shouldn't be about saying this or that in order to get a label that fits how you want it to. I know that may sound harsh, and I don't mean it so but I have experienced a lot of judgement by people who just see me as 'another borderline' and I feel strongly about that. I do hope you get the help you need and can begin on the road to recovery. Thank you, this post helps me a lot, feel reassured. DBT existed where I lived in 2011, but I was refused, as I lacked a borderline diagnosis, dunno if it is available in our area now. I could check out their website to see if it is. I think that it is very tight, them making DBT unavailable in your area, it sounds like it would help, CBT helped a bit, and the mindfulness training on top or blended in with CBT sounds even more helpful. I love those moments when I realise something about myself that is something I've been in previous denial about. For instance, I have noticed sycophantic behaviour in me among my peers. I am grateful for this realisation, because, although not pleasant when coming out, you cannot fix a problem you are not aware of its existence, and now that I have observed sycophantic behaviour in myself, I know to keep my lips together if ever I feel the need to behave sycophantically and it also enables me to learn why I feel the need to do this (work in progress, but it is in progress, which is the positive thing) I think the mindfulness in DBT would help me observe myself and spot other areas that need improvement, seems cruel to withdraw that facility. I told the psychiatrist the truth, so I am confused by this remark of yours, Quote it shouldn't be about saying this or that in order to get a label that fits how you want it to. I told the truth, what would be the point in lying just to get a label.? If he'd have told me I had complex PTSD that would have been better, but he said it is not recognised by whoever governs british psychiatry. I've been here 7yrs and more than once, many times, ive heard myself commentingn on similarities between me and BPD'ers. You don't come out of 25yrs solid mental abuse unscathed, it cuts deeply and there is festering wounds, but salt water is nearby healing is taking place. 4 hours ago, Kimboski said: I think you're going into panic mode after fighting so hard to get where you are. Hearing voices is not part of the criteria as far as I am aware. I don't think you'll have the diagnosis taken away for say that you have heard them in the past. For what it's worth, and I hope it helps, I did tell my psychiatrist I had heard voices but it was only during a period of psychosis during a long binge that ended up with me being briefly sectioned and placed on a ward. I think they are looking for the 'bigger picture' when diagnosing and not isolated cases. Hope that helps. I do go in panic mode, you're right. It's been a long hard fight. A grown woman nearly 50, writhing around on the floor, hitting herself, making strange loud noises, that is not right, sorry, it's not. Rocking back and forth, I forgot to add that one, but he might have observed that himself. Quote i don't think you'll have the diagnosis taken away for say that you have heard them in the past. Thats just it though, I don't think I have heard voices like I did on speed ever since. I might have heard them when I was little, two teachers slagging me off as I walked past, but they did pick on me, so that might be actual factual rather than paranoid imaginings. If hearing voices isn't part of the criteria then I'm safe. I reckon I have bordered on very irrational when I found asbestos in my flat. It had been damaged, but not enough to cause the fuss I created and spent £3K on varoius asbestos firms tellling me its not a problem, but me not beleiving them. I hated the ambiguity of that asbestos episode, but finally I got a firm in to cover it over with special stuff after taking as much as they could off. I think Borderline is the line between neurosis and psychosis and maybe that line can sometimes be blurry. I know that people have seen me so anxious about something trivial that they have said I am irrational. Psychosis is like a spectrum, from a point of, so far out there, you're in a dream, thinking you are someone else, somewhere else, doing something else, I would imagine, right down to irrational neurosis, the woman with red raw hands who think's they need a good wash, cos she only washed them 93 times today. I've often had people ask me if my mental health is ok when they hear some comments I make. Highly anxiously irrational, worry about future, cannot get out of bed, weepy, in and out of drug withdrawal, but I know theres worse off than me. 4 hours ago, walker said: have never heard voices and have dx of bpd hearing voices is NOT part of the criteria for a bpd diagnosis thank you <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artemis84 Posted June 3, 2016 Report Share Posted June 3, 2016 I didn't mean you were saying you had any particular symptom in order to get your label - sorry if it came across that way. If anything I meant that you telling the truth shouldn't have to be about getting one label or another, it shouldn't be about labels, it should be about people. People with whatever symptoms they happen to have. But I can't change the system sadly, it just frustrates me. And no, I agree - what would be the point in lying to get a label? (Though I'm sure some people do!) I'm not saying you don't have BPD, not at all - and I am pleased you got some validation from your diagnosis too. I agree, Complex PTSD and EUPD can be very similar in their presentation and their causes. Basically trauma sucks hey!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
successful_workthru Posted June 4, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2016 11 hours ago, artemis84 said: I didn't mean you were saying you had any particular symptom in order to get your label - sorry if it came across that way. If anything I meant that you telling the truth shouldn't have to be about getting one label or another, it shouldn't be about labels, it should be about people. People with whatever symptoms they happen to have. But I can't change the system sadly, it just frustrates me. And no, I agree - what would be the point in lying to get a label? (Though I'm sure some people do!) I'm not saying you don't have BPD, not at all - and I am pleased you got some validation from your diagnosis too. I agree, Complex PTSD and EUPD can be very similar in their presentation and their causes. Basically trauma sucks hey!! Sorry Artemis, I got the wrong end of the stick, very BPD lol I wanted my label cos labels mean a message to others that people have challenges they may not have, so to back off a bit, if needed. For instance, if someone I know knows I have BPD, hopefully, instead of asking to borrow a tenner, when ive only £20 left, or whatever, they'll ask someone else, knowing that the worry about running out of money will bother me more than the other person. hope that makes sense less expectations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zenry1213 Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 I don't hear voices as such but I hear my own voice telling me to do things. like very strong impulses its easier to listen to the voice and do what it says to get it to go away xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
successful_workthru Posted June 26, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2016 8 hours ago, zenry1213 said: I don't hear voices as such but I hear my own voice telling me to do things. like very strong impulses its easier to listen to the voice and do what it says to get it to go away xx I'm referring to the outside voices that are not there. They sound like people talking outside of you, in the street, in the area outside your window, behind you while walking in the street. They talk random bollocks. I mostly only got them on speed. I might have got them when I was tired, I remember writing them down when i had done speed and been up a few days. I got some lady saying random names in a local accent so i wrote the names down but in typical me fashion i lost the paper i wrote them on. At school I might have had paranoia, but it could have been real cos i was gennuinely picked on a lot, and third partied commented on it, at work too, so, part of it could have been paranoia, expecting to be picked on and 'hearing people talk about me' or it could have partly been real, cos third parties were there and commented. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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