zenry1213 Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 so I know this girl who says she has BPD. shes so high functioning though, goes places by herself and takes her kids places by herself. she even looks after them by her self yet claims she needs all this help. is this just a case of making her life look perfect on facebook? maybe a sad cry for helo? am I wrong to be so pissed of because her life looks so perfect and struggle free yet we are meant to be enduring the same illness and I'm sat here with an arm full of healing scars? I cant leave the house at all without anyone I know. I cant take my kids places even heavily supported because it triggers panic attacks. I cant sleep I cant eat proplerly and I cant control my mod wings. I can hardly function due to the combination of my illness and I'm really fucked off about it. how should one person get everything handed to them on a plate and another have to struggle for everything. I'm so sorry about this stuoid rant but I'm feeling so much anger and rage inside tonight I'm in a foul mood on the outside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamalou Posted June 25, 2016 Report Share Posted June 25, 2016 I don't have a formal diagnosis of BPD but am told I have many traits along with a list of other problems as long as your arm. I've struggled at various levels with my mental health since I was 14 years old. The last 6 years I haven't actually lived. I've existed in a vulnerable mental state. I like you, am a prisoner in my home. I have 3 children. I can't leave the house unless my husband or mum escort me. I can't shop for food without assistance. I also do not function. I deleted my Facebook account. I'm fed up with my shit life ! And reading about everyone else's perfect life, perfect children, perfect blah blah blah........ Please don't apologise for having a rant ! We live a different and terribly difficult life. My problem is my own safety. Keeping myself alive during those many torturous hours alone in my prison. Sorry if I made this all about me. I'm trying to relate to you and share your experience. Big hugs Mama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilh Posted June 26, 2016 Report Share Posted June 26, 2016 I feel for you both at this difficult time, Bpd can be really painful and debilitating, it moves us away from our 'true self' and we start to shape our lives to protect ourselves from reality. Throughout my recovery I have learnt that Bpd is brought on by trauma and stress experienced in our lives and Bpd is a result of how the mind attempts to protect itself. Zoning out, alcohol and substance misuse, risky sex, spending etc. If fact anything that distracts us from our intense emotional pain, just for a short time, unfortunately because these things give us temporary relief they become habit forming but will do anything to escape the pain! Understanding this process I feel is a major part of recovery and the' radical acceptance' that not everything we see and believe in is 'reality' is a difficult process to take on board. I myself went through many years of not being in the place to understand this process and felt that 'my reality' was REALITY! I was so wrong, it simply wasn't . Small steps are what required to achieve long term stability and change. Read and learn as much as you can, talk to other's and learn from each other, Above all, be kind to yourself and be patient. Recovery is Possible. neilh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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