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'BPD is so misunderstood'


neilh

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Throughout my recovery journey I have come to the conclusion that BPD or rather Emotionally Unstable Personality is 'so misunderstood'. I feel that even health care professionals have a range of ideas and opinions of the cause's, symptoms and treatment of this condition. I feel lucky that I have been able to pick through the heaps of 'misinformation' and focus on some key aspects of the condition and therefore recovered.

It is evident that the internet is full of misnomer's and myths concerning BPD and this promotes confusion and trauma to those experiencing it for the first time. I also have come across a range of opinions from health care professionals and this again does nothing to guide and advise those in the grip of BPD.

The big issue with BPD is that its very often not diagnosed until the later stages, when someone presents as being in Crisis, suicidal and in need of acute care. Many others end up in the Criminal justice system because they have slipped through the net and still are not diagnosed correctly. In my opinion the NHS is failing these individuals . I feel there is much that can be done to identify BPD earlier and thus head off many of its dangerous and life changing symptoms. Unfortunately we are still stuck in realms of blaming those with this condition and labelling them as weak,limited and helpless and therefore devoid of real help. I find that considering that a key treatment for BPD is consistent and long term psychotherapy, the fact that the NHS only offers a year of this treatment simple appalling. 

Just looking at some of the comments that appear on this forum, it is evident that there is a huge information gap concerning BPD and I feel that this in itself is a concern. It's about time that this area of mental health was 'nailed down' and clarified greater. In order for those suffering from the condition to be engaged with and provided the correct treatment I feel that the NHS should launch an up to date Campaign concerning BPD, providing correct guidance, advise and information.

neilh

 

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I totally agree coming from a social work background I was already aware of the stigma attached to this illness and how mothers with this illness are perceived as dangerous and unable to parent. So when I was diagnosed with it I was one of those people and only through education I realised how little people really knew and how wrong they are. I agree even MH workers I have come across have little awareness too, one saying to me you don't want that diagnosis.  Well actually I do because for the first time ever I fit in and have some insight into myself.training on this should be given to more professionals. The media however also stigmatises, I cringe when I hear the illness mentioned always in relation to "dangerous people"

 

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Shirtony,

             I certainly agree with you on your comment regarding stigma, it does seem sometimes that we are still living in the dark ages when it comes to peoples preconceptions regarding Mental health, I suppose much of this mistrust and lack of understanding is a throwback to the days of the Asylum and when people were thoughts to be possessed by the devil for displaying symptoms of a mental illness. Generally I feel that we have moved on and the majority of people in society have an understanding, however there is also a section of society that continues to lookout for others 'with difference' be it mental health, race, sexuality and project their own bad feelings of the world onto them.  

I try not to let the feelings and opinions of a minority of unintelligent individuals affect me, although sometimes that minority can seem pretty big. The truth is 'we are all human and we all have flaws to contend with in life. I try to focus on all the positive things that I can offer the world instead of the very small part of me which is BPD. I have reached a stage where I can look back and feel proud of my recovery and the fact that know one else really knows what I been through isn't important, I know it. Recovery is a state of mind and I prove all those negative people wrong just by continuing in that state. As they say ' We shall overcome' some day!

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I love your post neilh- so many sad but true observations. I'm afraid it's made me write lots of things too which I hope are relevant and interesting.

My first lot of therapy was 17 sessions and I was told I was lucky to get that much as most people only got 10. But I can see that a year might be equally unhelpful. Mental illness isn't something that can easily be measured. Even two people with apparently identical experiences won't necessarily need the same amount of therapy- and a lot can depend on the therapist too.

But I think the NHS like many companies is becoming more about numbers and less about the people they're supposed to be helping. This is not necessarily the fault of the therapists but the people with the money. On paper, a discharged patient looks exactly the same as a cured patient.

My psychiatrist is the most intelligent person I have ever known but even she has a negative and I believe incorrect view of BPD. She doesn't believe I have it because "people with BPD don't care about other people". But some of the most caring people I have ever known have BPD. I think the trouble is, as you said neilh, BPD is often not diagnosed until the later stages when the person is in crisis. Mental health professionals see people at their worst and because therapy time is so limited, they don't have the opportunity to bring people back to their best. Even when we managed to get back to our best without support, the mental health professionals hardly ever see us in this state. They only see us when we crash again.

I think one problem is that people with mental health problems often feel as though they are in danger. The most apparently simple things can become terrifying. It is difficult to do anything when you're that scared and leaving your house and getting yourself to therapy can be such a big achievement. But when you're that terrified and there's no-one who seems to understand your fear (not to mention no-one else who seems as frightened and in as much danger as you), then it doesn't seem unnatural for your focus to be on protecting yourself. Is this 'typical BPD selfishness' or a natural human reaction? Lots of people are absolutely terrified of spiders and can do nothing but freeze and wait for it to go away or be removed. They will demand for it to be taken away and not always in a calm, polite manner because it's very difficult to produce that when you're terrified. Many people with mental illness feel this kind of fear all the time- and it can't always be taken away. So is it any wonder that we sometimes scream and shout and produce other examples of anti-social behaviour? Considering we're often behaving this way 24/7 I think we're often quite restrained if anything.

I think also as therapy is limited, ideally you want to be as completely honest about your feelings and make the session all about you in order to get the most from the experience. You usually won't spend time talking about your friends' problems and how worried you are about them because the therapist won't help with that. Although guilt can be a key feeling for a lot of people with mental health problems, I think often people will talk about the things they think, feel and do that cause the guilt rather than the guilt itself. So if a client uses the limited time in the most practical possible way, the caring side of their personality won't necessarily be revealed.

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Emma,

         Such true observations, it seems like you have had a similar experience to myself, I find it interesting when you mention 'Fear'. I feel that this emotion plays a massive part in this condition, consciously or subconsciously! fear of the past, future and other people. It goes together with the how BPD develops in us initially, by developing a 'false self' to combat the fears that we have experienced. Having recovered somewhat, I now feel I understand this aspect of the illness which brings me to my next point. It seems that when we are in the throws of crisis and really in the grip of BPD, non of us are capable of understanding any of the true elements  and causes of BPD. Even if we are told them, we simply don't seem to be able to process the information and we continue to act out and remain in crisis. It's as if we all need to be unlocked!  I feel is one of the great keys to unlocking ourselves and our recovery is understanding the principles of the illness.

In my experience I have found that by understanding the concept of  the false self and in particular the 'Styles of Deluded thinking' things slowly seemed to hit home and kind of made sense. For me anyway I felt that I must have been thinking in a deluded way for many years and my true self had been split, only when I came to realise this and work on all of these factors did things really start to change. I feel that many others would be able to make this change if these concepts could be explained to them and focused on. Many simply don't understand the concept. 'Have you ever tried to explain it!!! To explain what I mean, just think of any unconscious habit that you have had for years' scratching you nose, sucking your teeth. Thing we are not aware of ourselves doing until someone brings it to our attention, to me BPD is like this, a habit that develops in response to stress, fear or trauma and throws us into living as a 'false self' this in turn changes our behaviour and view of the world and it becomes ingrained and 'locked in' to us, until that moment that we are made aware or become 'unlocked'. Self awareness is the hard part and we are all different, some of us are harder to unlock, but I feel that there is a key to everyone, its a matter of finding it.

My BPD was unlocked by several years of psychotherapy and a real change of direction, for me it was the only way to return to my true self and now that I've found it I cant even imagine thinking the way I did, its like I've been rebooted or reborn, I just wish it have happened sooner.

Lots of luck with your recovery, take care.

neilh 

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  • 4 weeks later...

i totally agree with you BPD is very misunderstood i was told today its just a label and that it doesnt really exist wtf! he proclaimed to know so much about mental health i had to stop listening as it was clear i knew and had experienced far more than he could ever tell me.  Iv come across mental health workers who have very limited experience with dealing with BPD cases which only further frustrates.  I agree BPD could be picked up a whole lot earlier and succesfully treated. i was mislabelled with depression for over 20 years i could have started my recovery years ago if i was properley listened to all along saving years of struggles.  NHS are letting BPD sufferers down hugely, in my area anyway and from my personal battle to try get some understanding and useful help.  I dont need a label to live my life but it helps me understand why i am the way i am and to be quite frank im really annoyed at this person today implying i want a label... if only he knew.  

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