9 Long Years of Misdiagnosis

[Emily Walker]

Hi,

So I am new here. By way of introduction I guess I will discuss myself in the hope that someone understands where I am coming from. 

I was always an anxious child. But when I got to the age of 18 my mental health seemed to de-stabilize due to the fact that I was leaving my whole life behind to start a new venture - university. I remember feeling really intense emotions - not just anxiety but anger, irritation, low mood, hyperactivity etc.! With the help of a mental health advisor, I managed to get through university on a fairly stable level. Then, due to various events happening in my personal life, I had my first proper breakdown. I ended up in a psychiatric facility where the psychiatrist (like so many before her) diagnosed me with anxiety. She assured me that it must be the anxiety I'm feeling - yet I knew it wasn't. I tried to explain it to her but, to be frank, she was one of those posh, private psychiatrists who just assumed she was right.

Then came years where I guess I was a guinea pig for many who came across me! At one stage I was on enough medication for someone with bipolar and at another they were treating me for depression! The breakthrough came recently when I came to a day unit and spoke to people there. They seemed to listen to me and really understand me! They got me to read a booklet about BPD and asked me various questions and everything just seemed to go into place.

I've spent the last 9 years believing I was even crazier than I thought! I thought that I had anxiety but that I was different to other anxiety sufferers....turns out that, yes, an aspect of my mental health problem was anxiety but that it wasn't the overarching issue. 

I have no idea WHY I came to suffer with BPD but I'm keen for treatment to be focused on the future and how I can manage and recover from it. Not on the past. I have a good prognosis and there is a statistic (taken from Mind) that 85% of sufferers tend to think they have made a full recovery after 10 years. I'm just thrilled that I finally understand why I feel this way.

So hi to everyone! Hope to be speaking to many of you soon!

Emily x