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™Michelle1

I had my appt.yesterday and it went very well...I think that DBT is going

to help me alot and i really like my Therapist,she's so nice and has

given me some great advise on how to handle my BPD

I'm still on the waiting list for the womens group but hopefully

i will get in soon....she's hopeing in the middle of May

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OceanCarol

Hi Michelle, just wanted to say that I'm glad you are finding it helpful, I took a few sessions but am taking a break for a bit because its a bit much for me right now. I am also waiting for a woman's group. I think that would help a lot, because there is not many people I can talk to about this, and I wouldn't really want to because it is so personal to me..so the group would be a safe place to talk about things.

It helps so much to have a really good therapist and to be connected and feel safe. I will probably be starting again next month.

Good luck to you

Carol

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Phoinixe

I am finding the summary and explanations of DBT discussed in this thread really fascinating... and really hopeful.

I wonder, do they discuss positive coping strategies you might already have, as well as the negative ones? I have just been diagnosed with BPD, and am feeling a bit...betrayed by my own mind. Everything I thought was reality has been thrown into question, but some things seem positive to me. I am a very organized person. My need for order in the chaos is very strong (though not to the point of OCD), and I think that DBT will work well with my natural tendency towards taking the bull by the horns and hunkering down for the work of taking on projects.

But, is that good, or bad? I don't know anymore! I'm not sure I could cope if my coping mechanism for dealing with my Sequencing (learning) disorder turns out to be wrong, too.

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clareallisonwalker

i did emotional skills part of dbt whilst i was in my local psych hospital and found it helped but i also found i quickly forgot the skills and slipped back into old coping mechanisms im also due to start intensive dbt in a couple of months at the retreat thats after completing cat treatment which is quite different in its approach though both involve homework and diary keeping it would be good if someone does a topic like this one on cognitive analytical therapy cat for short as i have found it a productive therapy although it hasnt so far reduced my sh atleast i can begin to recognise seperate states and triggers for behaviour both treatments are daunting but i know personally i have to try change or itll end up killing me...clare

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Madsheep

just started pre treatment

meant to be 6 weeks done 4

ist week got told 9 people due to start be gradual

2nd week got told wait for 9 to start at same time 4 havent been assessed yet

4th week starting with 5 start august

conclusion nhs cant count

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Angel123

DBT has been mentioned to me, but i am very anxious about it.

Apparantly they have started that STEPS programme over here in the UK and my therapist wants to get me on the list for it.

Have you heard of it?

I have been doing CBT but cant seem to get on with it

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Madsheep

saga of the bloody dbt

i was assessed nearly two years ago

did emotional skills group

just done preassessment for dbt

was meant to start beginning of june

got told id have support until it started weekly now it going to be two weekly until it starts in august

i just feel so mucked about

is this normal

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ThePath66
I just started a support group for dpt.I have only atteded now for 3 weeks,and from what they tell us we need to be in there 6 months for our skills to start to kick in, it's alot of work and practice every day to help manage this(which is a difficult task indeed for myself) but I have to hang in there and keep working hard at it.It is hard to cope every day being in this body.People don't understand how difficult it is to cope every day.

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Effervescence

I'm sick to death of being sung the praises of DBT.

I am on SSI and Medicaid, very limited income. I am allowed only to go to the local Mental Health Center (I can't afford to go anywhere else).

They do not offer DBT there--or anything like it.

I would have to travel a long way and pay out of pocket to receive DBT--which is out of the question for me. I just cannot afford it.

I would like to know why people keep talking about how wonderful DBT is and how ppl with BPD should try it since it is only available for a small elite portion of the population???

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xamg

Just started DBT, I have a further six months minimum of it, and I'm already soooo bored by it. And the person who mentioned that there is no discussing past experiences is totally right, which isn't very helpful in my case, as my childhood is the main ingredient to why I am completely unstable now.

I am also having hypnotherapy though, so hopefully that will work quicker for me.

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Aamanee

I been waiting 2 years for mine but am seeing someone tomorrow about starting it one to one and with a group

hopefully it goes ok

Aamanee

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BabySteps

I'm new to this forum. I read through all the posts. I have attended a DBT group. It was good but all the acronyms left me confused...DEAR MAN, etc and the therapist zipped through each new skill each week. I'd barely get my head wrapped around a skill when she was onto another one, leaving me feeling like I was a special ed student who couldn't keep up with the mainstream class. I've heard other people rave about their DBT experience so I think it all has to do with the therapist who runs the group.

I like going to a therapy group but I remember I would feel frustrated in spending my co-pays for a lot of times not even getting a chance to talk about my week and how it was for me to practice my skills. The clinic I go to now doesn't have a DBT group so I just get weekly individual therapy and do my workbook exercises during the week.

For those who don't have DBT in your area, have you considered ordering DBT or cognitive therapy type workbooks online to work on your own? My favorite are ones written by Matthew McKay, Ph.D. So far I like his Thoughts & Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods & Your Life better than his DBT workbook. Maybe it's just because of where I am in my recovery.

The only thing I can see that is better about me attending a DBT group is that we had to do our DBT exercises or we'd get kicked out and that made me serious aobut it. With my current therapist, if I get lazy one week about doing my workbook exercises, she either doesn't say anytihg at all or will nicely remind me that its good for me. I have a lazy side that seems to need accountability to someone to do what I don't feel like doing.

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rozekat

Where I am, they offer DBT as part of a research they're doing. You get blindly assigned to either DBT or conversational model of therapy and they are studying how the two differ and how they work (although both have been proven to work). I am so lucky because I didn't have to wait long, and they seem to run it the "correct" way. That is, 1hr individual therapy a week, 2.5hr group therapy a week, the DBT phone (where you between 8.30am and 10pm you can call and ask advice on using the skills, or they will guide you through a crisis and encourage you to use the skills, helping you to find which ones to use) and the therapists themselves have a weekly meeting (the fourth component of the therapy as it is supposed to be run).

This has been a life-saver for me. It's been four months and I can see a huge improvement. Someone said that where they are, the service doesn't take people with a co-morbid illness. I'm also bipolar but they have taken me, so I don't understand what that's about there, but it doesn't seem fair on you.

At the beginning of the year, I started studying psychology, but ended up really ill and then they diagnosed me. This treatment has helped me to find meaning within my life and through the illness (one part of one of the skills they teach). I'll return to study next year, and my goal at the end is to go into cognitive and behavioural therapies, with a particular interest in the further research and provision of DBT.

I finish group sessions around July next year (they run for a year: there are 3 modules to the program plus a mindfulness module that is taught at the beginning of every other module because it is the most important and crucial to the therapy; and you do the modules twice: so you do six modules) and then I'll accept the option of a further year in individual therapy. But it has been noticed there are no support groups after that to help people continue to utilise the skills or provide support for that, so it is my intention that by the time I finish, if there is no after-therapy support group established for DBT and recovering borderline's, I will work towards creating one.

Anyone who has the opportunity to enter a DBT program, if you are hesitant or unsure, just go for it. Given how life may have been for you already, it is natural to feel that hesitation. We are creatures of the things that are familiar to us, of our routines and the coping mechanisms we have created for ourselves in our lives. Don't be mistaken, the program is hard work: you'll be resistant to the changes at first; the things they teach you may seem foreign; and just when you think you've figured out how to do something, life will throw you something else to challenge that and you'll become disillusioned because you thought you had it figured and now you're not sure; you'll want to blame anyone except for yourself; you'll want to quit. BUT IT IS SOOOOO WORTH IT!

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amy123

i start D.B.T in about 6 weeks time and it terrifies me cos its gonna be group therapy,i'm not so sure if it will help.

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pinkpixie

I'm starting a DBT course in the new year and am a bit nervous about joining a new group. I currently see a psychologist once a week for CBT and haven't self harmed since my last release from the psych ward in November. I also attend daily AA meetings which also helps with the BPD so a bit concerned that being around other SI behaviour will have more of a negative impact.

I've had numerous suicide attempts since the age of ten so whilst feeling good now it's scary to think that tomorrow I might get triggered and the SI behaviour is getting progressively worse.

Amanda

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fairy anna

hi there to everyone........ this is a first for me ......... not used to sharing in this way! I've completed 2 yrs of dbt, i spent a long time in the 1;1 sessions before and after the group work (which lasts about 1 yr)

I have been woking with my cpn for about 5 yrs now! without him i don't think i would have had the courage or insight to participate in dbt! Or carried on with thearpy.......... yes it is extremely difficult at times......... but i have learnt many ways to improve my life............... this doesn't mean that i don't struggle......... i do!

I am now! I suppose thats why I'm writing this ............ I could go on and on but it would be a very long entry!

In a nutshell i feel lonely and isolated, with a very busy mind and a knackered body!

Best wishes

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fairy anna

DBT has been mentioned to me, but i am very anxious about it.

Apparantly they have started that STEPS programme over here in the UK and my therapist wants to get me on the list for it.

Have you heard of it?

I have been doing CBT but cant seem to get on with it

Hi, is the STEPS course the one by the parcific institute? Very very good course i really enjoyed it ....... the only thing is that i would recommend it AFTER DBT. If you'd like me to explain or if you have direct questions please reply and i will get back to you.

ps this is my first time using this site so i hope it's easy to get back to people!

best wishes

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saphyreraine

I'm due to start a year-long dbt program in the next week... at first I was very motivated to start, but now that my mood has dropped I'm feeling a lot less optimistic. Could anyone write of their experiences of this therapy? Perhaps I am posting this in the wrong area...?

xx

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Demeter

I often felt like I was being treated as a misbehaving child, e.g. you could not be one minute late for a session, or you were not complying with the program and you would be immediately sent home. There was almost an atmosphere of fear. The worst thing for me was some of the messages that we were given - one, that we "chose" to behave the way we did, that we could choose to be happy (I could not understand that then, and I do not understand that now, how and why would anyone ever choose to be depressed?) The other big message was that we chose to be "ill" so that we could avoid responsibility. I could not sleep more than 3 or 4 hours a night while I was there due to nervousness, homesickness (I was 1500 miles from home), lack of meds, I just dont know. I began to feel as if I were being brainwashed, and began to believe that I was just faking depression, that I was deliberately choosing to be ill so that I could avoid responsibility (I was the mother of 7 children (5 were my husbands from a previous marriage), I had been a teacher/principal for over 20 years, I had loved my job and would not knowingly and deliberately avoid it), and that I was "choosing" to be depressed. I just could not figure these things out. When I came home (they sent us all home after 8 weeks of treatment instead of the 13 because of a provincial strike that the hospital fell under). I wondered about things when I watched several of the "nurses, therapists" etc, run around with their "pro-strike" buttons on as they eagerly prepared to send us home, and take part in the strike. It did not make sense. When I got home, I was much better due to the fact of the support and caring of fellow patients, the genuine caring of one nurse/therapist, and I did learn many new things about myself I did not know before. But I was left permanently confused, to this day. When I get depressed,(I still go through periods of severe long-lasting depression about once every year or two, I not only feel the guilt and shame that comes with the depression, I also feel the added guilt and shame that I am not thinking right, that I am only seeking attention, and that I am avoiding responsibility.

Oh, this makes me so sick with anger! That you should have been treated this way! The messages they gave you about it being your fault are TOXIC and you should NOT believe them. We BPD's have very little control over our emotions, when we're really in the throes of the disease, and we CANNOT HELP it. I've come a long way in therapy, and I've never been told that I "choose" to feel bad, and this message is *not necessary or helpful* for recovery. It's like telling someone with cancer that they chose to get sick. I could go on and on . . if you want to talk more about this, send me a message. My heart goes out to you, who have been a victim of such vile, unhelpful messages from the people who were supposed to be taking care of you. I think Borderlines already feel so badly about their negative emotions, that to heap an additional layer of badness on those feelings, just seems criminal to me. Linehan, the originator of DBT who has a lot of insight into the disorder, says that Borderlines often come from invalidating environments growing up, where our feelings, thoughts and perceptions were not validated or cared about by our caretakers. Nor were our needs met or cared about. So we ALREADY feel like s*** about ourselves and our emotions, especially our negative ones, and we need to feel like we're OK just as we are, feelings and all. One of the biggest, most important messages for me to learn was "it's not my fault," because I subconsciously blamed myself for everythign in my life, the abuse I suffered as a child, the negative emotions I had a result, every wrong thing I did in my current life, everything. "It's not my fault" has been a huge relief to me, and NO, it hasn't turned me into a carefree ne'er-do-well who doesn't care about how she affects other people. I'm still a very responsible, caring adult, and I'm more able to take care of the people around me because I'm in a stronger, more self-loving place.

Speaking about DBT . . . I read the book it was based on, read the workbook, and attended a DBT group a few times. I remember in the book, Linehan stated that VALIDATING the BPD was just as important as teaching the skills. I felt that, in the group I was in, the leader didn't validate hardly at all. That's why I quit. I also had another source of real solid support, my individual therapist. In addition I felt like the skills were just common sense and I didn't feel I learned much from it. I remember one time, one of the other people in the group admitted that she had self-harmed the previous weekend. She was in so much pain as she said it, and seemed SO ASHAMED. And the leader did NOTHING about this woman's pain and shame. I couldn't believe it! There's no point in talking about something shameful, unless there's someone there to help you feel better about it. It just increases the shame level. I felt so bad for this group member, so sad for her. Groups definitely don't have to be this way . . . it was either because the DBT structure didn't allow for soothing someone, or because this particular leader sucked, I don't know. But if DBT encourages this kind of neglect at all, then in my book it's a bad thing. The thing is, Linehan encourages lots of validation on the part of the therapist, so I think this particular leader didn't really understand DBT fully. How someone with an ounce of compassion can watch someone admit to self-harm with tears running down her face and so full of shame, while doing nothing, is beyond me. Therapists like that should be taken out and shot. Yeah, I'm pissed - I've had lots of bad therapy, in the past, and bad therapists do so much harm in the world.

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ravenna

I participated in a DBT program for 6 months(the time that is average for completion in this particular program) missed the group only twice(once because i was in hospital and once because i was having a HORRIBLE depressive episode) I apologized about the second absence asked what I could do to make it up and everything. I was due to "graduate the week after the last missed and was told that i would not be graduating and she wanted me to stay in the program for 8 WEEKS longer.

Meanwhile there were ppl who had been the 4 months missed around 5 sessions at least and were still graduating. I had completed a great deal of my goals(some were very long term goals) and had moved from weekly 1 on 1 to biweekly because I was so stable.

She treated me as if because the state was paying for the treatment(through CPS) that I wasnt as worthy as the other, eventhough i had been trying to get into the program for 2YEARS but because of my lack of insurance and their high prices i was unable to.

The program itself helped me immensely and I recommend it to everyone but i just had a bad experience with the ficilitator.

I ended up leaving the program without graduating because I had made previous life arrangments(with therapists full knowledge) to move out of town away from a stalking ex boyfriend.

ugh! sorry had to kind of vent for a little bit.

THE DBT PROGRAM PROBABLY SAVED MY LIFE AND IS GREAT YET DIFFICULT EVERYONE SHOULD TRY TO DO IT.

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Jinxsta

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH My DBT therapist's book is on here............... profs.bpdworld.org/selfhelp.php

XxX

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roxy

Hi Em

Good to see your post about DBT. I am on the DBT programme here in the UK at the moment, and would like to offer the following comments ;

The structure of DBT is like no other. It is really rigid - you have to stick to discussing present difficulties which interfere with Therapy and your quality of life. Discussing the past is not allowed. Stopping self harm is the big issue in DBT. Finding other ways of coping.

There is a 'no nonsense' approach to the programme. All topics and issues are discussed matter of factly and you are confronted 'head on'. I think it is quite brutal in some ways. You have to get used to it and go with it.

Homework and the feedback of it is compulsory. No one gets away without completing it. Diary sheets too ...

The methods and ideas that are taught in the group sessions are not rocket science! I was amazed at how so much of DBT is common sense ... BUT, applying the techniques in real life, at crisis point, is VERY HARD.

Trying to learn all they teach,and put it into practice without using the coping mechanisms you have always used, and endure 1 hour of therapy every week, plus living life ... well ......

Anyway, I am sticking with it, reminding myself that I have no choice. I need to get control over my SI otherwise it will be too late.

So if anyone is waiting for DBT ... remember,

It is not an easy ride, or fun, or a 'talking therapy'.It is about learning new skills to cope with life, and it can be difficult, frustrating, confusing, and annoying. Is it worth it? Well I am still here ......

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