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birdesh

Let's Find The Cure

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birdesh

Let's find a cure my friends.

Look for answers, share the answers you've already found.

Every sound advice is welcome.

We're not here to defend a method but to recover

LET'S ELABORATE A CURE

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Betsy

good idea bird..

grounding in reality helps me. staying in the hear and now. the concrete table that i can feel as opposed to the thoughts that go round my head.

bets

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realscape

Yeah, good idea Birdesh.

For me, reading The Power of Now, Erkhart Tolle, really helped. Its like Bets said, staying in the moment, right now, so that your mind doesn't go to the fearful future or the painful past. For me, that stopped me feeling suicidal. Eating a strict hardcore vegan wholefood diet has helped soothe mood swings, cravings, and addictions. Walking my neighbours dog 4 x a week come rain or shine has helped lift my mood. These are not cures, but they make things easier and more livable from day to day - they took me out of being suicidal.

As for the BPD bits, I am struggling very hard with that. I think its possibly an abusive diagnosis (after reading "Making Us Crazy") and that what we are suffering is a crisis of society that we as indivuduals can't cope with because we don't have the cosy safety net of a secure family life.

The best things we can do is keep discussing recovery here and keep talking to each other and stay connected.

At the moment I am using total withdrawal and isolating as a coping technique and it works great but its not 'choosing life'.

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poodle

I think its possibly an abusive diagnosis (after reading "Making Us Crazy") and that what we are suffering is a crisis of society that we as indivuduals can't cope with because we don't have the cosy safety net of a secure family life.

this is interesting Real. Although I have a loving, supportive family (my immediate family), I am 32 and live alone. Because I am no longer living in the family nest and am now an adult, I feel more vulnerable and unsafe. Having said this. I don't know if I could live with my parents full time because there are times when I do need my space. I am full of contradictions.

As I am single, i do not have a family unit of my own to help me feel secure. I am essentially a very insecure, scared, frightened person.

anyway. I just thought it was interesting what you said.

Poodle

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pip

I do the isolation thing too.

It's just a way for me to not come into an area I can't handle.

Dunno

Pip

x

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birdesh

For some reasons I cannot make friends. Neither have I proved able to sustain a lasting romance so far. I live a lonely life.

And I've realized how much loneliness is harmful BY ITSELF. The simple fact of living around people -that is sharing meals, talks and shelter with them- alleviate compulsions.

Something makes me unable to socialize correctly and the consequent loneliness compounds my problems.

I also know I drive people away. I need to find how to stop that crazy attitude.

BPD seems to be a disease of contact. I consider myself like someone who cannot properly get in touch with adults. I'm sure there's a reason and a solution.

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birdesh

I suffer from : compulsions (incl polyphagia), psychological blindness (I don't want to see where I'm heading), kind of social phobia, social cravings, never ending procrastination, mega massive inertia. I'm afraid to fight and I've got the most unpleasant feeling to be a coward. At the same time I'm torn by violence.

I used to suffer also from thought distortion and neurotic paranoïa. Both theses ailment have grown smaller.

I'm on Zoloft

I hate the state I'm in and I dislike myself. I know I'm clever (as far as intellect is concerned), and I know I'm a social misfit. I suffer a lot from it.

I WANT TO GET A LIFE.

I WANT TO FIND A CURE.

Come on : stop being lazy you people, let's find a cure. Read books, surf the internet, try new methodS, pray God, whatever...LET'S LOOK FOR A CURE AND SHARE WHAT WE FIND

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aylaah

yay! What a fantastic idea :)

Let's see... reaching out - even online is a step I think every single one of us here should be proud of. This is us asking for help, or support, in some way. By learning about each other we can learn about ourselves too.

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pip

Yep.

This is a step.

A good one.

I have taken a step forward and feel better for it.

Pip

x

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ZareliMan

Rather than finding a cure, I prefer to learn how to live with BPD... I believe BPD people have incredible abbilities just waiting to be unlocked, but sometimes we don't want to use them because we are scared.

Something that helps me a lot is ZEN Budhism (Closely related to Yoga and other oriental arts)...

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pip

Birdesh,

I obviosly would like a cure - but I can't see it

I would settle for accepting myself - but that is hard too.

Everyones advice is so hard to follow when you are feeling lost.

Today has been ok for me and I have managed daily chores - hardly brain surgery.

But it feels ok.

I wish I knew the answer.

Hope you are ok

Pip

x

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birdesh

I want to live well and happy. And I'll name that a cure.

I don't mind you calling that "accepting oneself" or "learning how to use bpd", etc. That's fine with me.

For me, a cure is the process that will enable me to live well and happy.

So let's not waste too much time on semantics and let's look for meaning, wholeness and happiness.

Come on you people, get down to work.

I'll do my best to bring my share to our collective effort.

Please, get down to work.

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birdesh

Seemingly, there are four types of parameters to consider :

- genetical

- environmental

- physical

- psychic

What is important to keep in mind is pragmatism. Our purpose is to get better not to support a system or a theory.

How much and how we can alter a harmful situation, that's what we need to be interested in.

Please let us know how you've improved your quality of living by "engeenering" positively one or several of these four parameters.

Of course if you can think of another parameter to take into account, please let us know.

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pip

Environmental

My nurse said it is ok to stay in bed if it makes me feel safe.

Pip

x

PS - Its works

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wednesday

Pip

I do the bed thing too. It gets you by but its not exactly living is it?

I want happiness- self acceptance, peace. I have no idea how to get it after a lifetime of runing away from myself.

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pip

I am in bed now.

It seems to stop my anxieties - well most of them.

Sometimes I am too scared to even go into the gareden.

- not good

-definately not living.

So far it is my only way of coping.

My cpn says I need to learn how to self soothe

- I am trying, but it isn't easy.

- Seemingly I didn't learn as a child.

You are right, I'm not living - just existing.

At least I'm not doped 24/7 - I was before.

Wish me luck

Pathetic I know

Pip

x

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lostsoul

cures.... hmmmm. you guys wanna crack that nut in one thread? wowsers! that's ambitious.

well here's my sixth penneth.

keep going to therapy and keep taking the drugs. you'll get there in the end.

simple dimple! :P

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Claire

:(

not sure that there is a cure.....

only coping mechanisms to deal with it, and very supportive, understanding people around to help...

fuck

sorry about that, um...don't take any notice, I am being very negative today.

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pip

Support is meant to be a key factor in getting better.

I have no friends or family - no real support.

Drugs are good.

Pip

x

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Betsy

don't disscount the determination to make changes in ones life. maybe we could call that "attitude." Sometimes one has to ignor feeling and just do what needs to be done.

bets

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Claire

okay, I am back...

more composed after eating some strawberry yoghurt.

:lol:

I have been (was in ha ha) remission for nearly a whole YEAR!! Until we moved to London, and my head started spinning again..

In my 'gap year' from BPD I found the following really helped:

Giving up (or dramatically cutting out? BOOZE!! difficult cos I love the drink.

Keeping up lots and lots of vigorous exercise (running/kung fu/weight training)almost every day.

Finding a purpose or something to keep me busy (a project, job, pet to toilet train etc...)

Boring the tits of my mates and husband with my long monologues/pity parties etc.. It does help, but they WILL get bored. :lol:

Keeping things mundane with no really major changes going on. Because changes really mess with my shit.

Um that's about it really :wacko:

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Minx

The best advise I had that helps me is hard to do so you have to practise a lot and for a long time but I've not been in hospital for nearly 2 years so I guess it really is working.

Basically you have to think about your reaction to your self (ie for most of us negative and blaming our selves,thinking if we mess up one thing we have messed up it all e.t.c. please feel free to write in your own examples)

Then you say what if the situation had happened to your best friend, using there name really helps(or the name of your partner or some one you care about.)

Eg I feel like crap,I Can't go out for my friends birthday, I'm so pathetic,she'll think I don't care,She will hate me,She will find a better friend and abandon me, I suck, I don't deserve her as a friend, i'm worthless,the world will be better off with out me.Etc

So I'd say Nic felt like if she couldn't come out for my birthday. I hope nic's ok. Maybe she wouldn't feel comfortable and would probably drink too much and maybe self harm if she did that. Is she a bitch? NO.Is she useless and crap? NO. will I find a better friend than nic and dump her? NO.

And so on

I hope this makes sense. basically treat your self the way you would treat your best mate and I bet you will become kinder to yourself and it will hurt a little less.

Remember it does take practise and time.

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