Let's Find The Cure

[birdesh]

In my opinion, here are the 4 most important things to do in order to avoid total physical exhaustion :

1) Eating sensibly (ENOUGH PROTEINS with all the essential amino-acids, veggies, and little carbs)

2) Drinking enough mineral or filtered water (AT LEAST 1,5 l a day)

3) Multivitamin + Magnesium

4) Sleeping enough (8 hours for most people, less for some)

[birdesh]

NOw any advice to avoid emotional exhaustion ?

I'd give you this one : FIGHT !

[pip]

You won't like my answer, but here it is.........................

AVOIDANCE

Sorry - too tired to fight,

maybe tomorrow

Pip

x

In my opinion, here are the 4 most important things to do in order to avoid total physical exhaustion :

1) Eating sensibly (ENOUGH PROTEINS with all the essential amino-acids, veggies, and little carbs)

2) Drinking enough mineral or filtered water (AT LEAST 1,5 l a day)

3) Multivitamin + Magnesium

4) Sleeping enough (8 hours for most people, less for some)

Sometimes when you are so tired it is hard to eat properly.

Sorry

Pip

x

[birdesh]

What can save and replenish emotional energy. Any idea anyone ?

[pip]

SORRY FOR THIS

-BUT CAN SOMEONE ELSE FIND THE CURE AND JUST TELL ME

THANX

PIPS

X

[realscape]

Hi Bird

Loving this thread. I think that. Emotional energy gets drained for lots of reasons, mainly because our minds are over analyising (analysis paralysis), over thinking, confused, conflicting, going from one end of a spectrum to another. I have seen an electronic mind map of a delusional schizophrenic and the energy pulses were going all over all of the brain rapidly, making connections that a 'normal' brain doesn't use. The 'normal' brain had a few paths the impulses followed on only part of the brain. So our fears, anxieties, and conflicts are tiring our minds.

Therefore, we have to learn to quiet our minds. Maybe meditation or CBT techniques? Physical excercise helps me.

I think that your attitude of not wanting coping techniques but actually 'recovery' is the same as mine. Its better to die on your feet than live on your knees mentality. I don't know how we recover from not having stable parenting which I personally believe is the essence of all our problems - we didn't have one 'good enough' parent consistently through our early lives.

Good diet. Physical excercise. Quiet the mind. Stay in the moment.

[birdesh]

Well Realscape, I'm sure there is a cure. It simply hasn't been found or sufficiently publicised yet. What are called "coping techniques" are unfortunately very inefficient most of the time. The problem has to be dealt with at its roots. Fighting the symptoms is a exhausting and never ending battle. It's a lost battle.

People suffering from BPD suffer from emotional exhaustion most of the time. Indeed psychyc conflicts are emotionally draining. How to save that energy ? How to stop these useless and disabling mind rambling. What has to do be done, given or found ?

Please people, answer this post. Together we might find something ACTUALLY helpful.

[Trace]

I;ve found hugging a soft Bear helps me. I never allowed myself to connect with anything or anyone growing up so missed out on the soft toy stage. When I'm sad now curl up on my bed and soothe my bear and as I soothe him, he soothes me, he understands me he doesn't expect anything from me or tell me to grow up or tell me how I should be feeling. I love my bear :-)

[birdesh]

Teddy Bear therapy :)

[pip]

Puppy Therapy?

I recommend it for everyone

You can even sleep when they do!!!!!!

Pips

x

[birdesh]

A Teddy bear is a transitional object. A pet can also represent a transitional object.

I may sound a little bit cruel, but I want to know how to go beyond that transitional state....Or rather how to make that state really 'transitional' instead of permanent.

[Trace]

Well I guess you have to have internalized the Transitional stage fully before you can become "independently cured". I keep throwing my bear away, but nope I'm still in need of transitional support right now LOL, If you do find a way, please let me know.

[Claire]

:)

Hi there.

I pop in and out of this forum sporadically and have done for a year and a half now...So I am not a regular face round here, partly due to the way I deal with my illness (ie try to hide it and myself away) and partly due to the increase in 'recovery phases' that I seem to be going through.

I had a terrible time last year, and had a massive mental collapse around May 2005. But... I recovered rapidly out of it, it was astonishing and was well again all the way up til about a couple of months ago and felt it all sliding back down again, but once more seem to have regained my composure and my sanity.

Here is what I am finding helps me. It may help you or may not, but this is my set of rules I need to stick to in order to lead a 'normal' life

Mindfulness - teaches you to exist in the NOW. Being aware of the present time and not letting the past or the fear of the future effect/colour your perception of what is happening right not.

You can learn mindfulness at DBT, different books and websites or through eastern philosophy like Buddhism.

Eckhart Tolle - Similair to above but he is the guy behind an amazing book called THE POWER OF NOW. Awesome, it has really helped me become aware of the true nature of the human mind, and what an enigma it is.

Giving up Booze - steering clear of drinking really helps.....

Intense physical exercise - I force myself to go for a run even at my lowest,lowest ebb. And it is like rewiring my brain. nb. it HAS to be intense and pretty full on exercise to have the right effect.

keep moving - Can be applied physically or mentally to my state of mind, but I have found that inertia kills me. And If I find the BellJar descending onto my head cutting off my air supply, I get up and go for a walk, force myself to walk to the park and go round it a certain number of times. Or if it is my thoughts that are trapping me, I go and engage my brain in something so it cannot go round and round in circles...so basically Keep Moving. To sit and do nothing is bad, to move forwards,sideways is better than staying still. This is a good one to get me to wake up enough to then force myself to go RUN round the park ha ha!

know when to stop and be still - this is of equal importance to the 'keep moving' rule, but is used in complete opposition to when the Belljar descends. (Belljar is the suffocating prison of depression and despair) Because my condition is Cyclothymic I have bouts of mania which drive me to exhaustion/hysteria and collapse. Anything can happen when this kicks in, but I usually know when it is happeningcos I can't sleep, can't sit still etc...this is when I know that it is time to RELAX and be still. I try and take a bath, nurture myself. Spoil myself with nice things, calming things. Pampering yourself or meditating and being still is VERY GOOD and helps me stop the world from spinning around me too fast.

Eat well - eating healthily and regularly. I found small regular meals every 2/3 hours helps me (snacks I guess) I cannot get hungry or go without eating for too long. It sets me off on a completely negative vibe. I like to control what I eat and how I eat, but I can't be hungry, and I find eating rubbishy food makes me moods go haywire.

Get a doggie - my little dog Brucie SAVED MY LIFE. Without a shadow of a doubt, that little canine friend of mine is responsible for me being alive right now....He gives unconditional love, he inspires me to feel depths of love and emmotion I never dreamt would be possible for a human to have for a four legged friend, but there it is. Dogs are really cool. In fact Cats are really cool too. He also helped me when I was at my most desperate because I was toilet training him at the time, and this was time consuming and took alot of effort and it was fun! He helped me focus on something other than myself, this above all helped me heal pretty fast. I didn't have time to worry about me anymore!!

okay that is all for now I think.

Hope that makes sense, it sure makes sense for me and I am much, much better for it nowadays :rolleyes:

[birdesh]

Trace, I'll let you know for sure.

Claire, It does make sense indeed ! Thanks for sharing with us.

You've equally put the emphasis on the body and the mind, and surely both have to be specifically taken care of if a lasting improvement is to settle.

What's also interesting is that you didn't tell a word about dealing with the past. You seem to entirely focus on the present and on day to day self-care.

[pip]

BIRDESH

WHY DON'T YOU GO AND ASK A PSYCHIATRIST

- THEY ARE PAID TO FIND THE ANSWERS

-THEY HAVE YEARS OF PRE-CLINICAL AND CLINICAL EXPERTISE.

WE ONLY HAVE YEARS OF PAIN.

GET A LIFE

SEE A SHRINK

(Above all said in very positive fashion)

[birdesh]

You have a twisted way of being positive PIP.

First, use "I" when you say "We only have years of pain". Apparently some people may think otherwise, and have something to share in the way of recovery.

All in all, your last post is hurtful and abusive, and I'm not taking that.

If you don't like that thread then do not read it.

Now, why don't you get off and go to hell.

(Above all said in a not so positive fashion)

[pip]

Birdesh

I am in hell already.

So are alot of people reading your posts

You want to get better - so do we

However, we may know the symptoms - but we don't have the cure

- else no one would be on the site

Your reply doesn't hurt me - even though it is not constructive.

My reply to you WAS constructive.

There is no need to be rude - I was merely stating my opinion and giving my advice.

Why do you feel the need to be so short with people when you don't like the answer they give?

eg the ugly/beautiful thread?

An non-abusive answer would be most appreciated

Pip

x

[pip]

Sorry Birdesh

[birdesh]

You may not get hurt when someone gets rude and hurtful, I know I do.

You started to be agressive with me PiP. Not the other way round. Reread your post : "GET A LIFE...SEE A SHRINK...."If you don't find that aggressive and hurtful, then ask someone else's opinion...

No we don't have a cure. But we have the right -and for me it's a duty- to look for it. However, I've forced no one to take part in that thread. You can simply ignore it if you find it disturbing, annoying or simply useless. Still, if you think we may elaborate something actually helpful, you're most welcome to contribute.

[pip]

I think I have already said this.

I AM SORRY

[birdesh]

In your opinion is there a link between compulsions and the feeling of abandonment ?

[pip]

Birdesh,

Je suis tres desolee

et non

Pip

x

[Claire]

birdesh!

I didn't mention the past, or dealing with the past, as I find talking and agonising over things that happened is well.....just futile.

I know that the 'talking' therapies really help alot of people (and good luck to all those who need it) but I find I start to disintegrate if I focus on the shitty stuff that happened to me.

When I suffered a double death scenario where two very close members of my family died within 5 weeks of each other I fell apart. (this was 2002) I felt that I needed to pay someone to listen to me rant on and on, about how it wasnt fair, how I felt cursed, and abandoned, and angry that I spent the first four years of my life in care, not in a family..etc....But after a few sessions I knew I was just going round and round in circles.

there was nothing the therapist could do, she couldn't bring my Dad back (who I ADORED) she couldn't turn back the clock and make my brother stop drinking himself to death. Cos ultimately that is all I want.

I want my dad to still be alive, I want my brother never to have felt so bad about life that he had to drink his problems away and commit the longest suicide ever. .... But...anyway therapists don't have a magic wand. I started to wake up about this.

When I lost it again in 2005 I turned to the psychistrists to help me cos I knew I was sliding and sliding down a very scary path. again I told her all about my background and all the crappy things that happened but, I didn't want to continue to discuss it anymore. I just wanted to rest for a while, recuperate, take some drugs that would help quieten my mind and shut it down for a bit, and start the long healing process that I now know my body and mind is completely capable of

I surrendered and realised that I was powerless. That we are all powerless to stop or prevent bad things happening to us. but we do have power over ourselves. We can gain control in how we deal with it. I knew then and I know it now, that everytime I go into a crisis (eg..another crisis surrounding my wedding last year) I can CHOOSE to let it destroy me, or I can begin to tunnel my way out of it.

For me the ability to heal is to exist in the present moment. Trying not to think about the bad shit until it is sat there in my head screaming for attention (I am not always down - my illness comes and goes in a cycle) I deal with the feelings and depression as it arises, trying to keep an angle of the 'here and now' on anything that my brain tries to dreg up.

anything else just seems to lead me down the path to self destruction

Believe me, it is not easy...it's very very hard. It takes COURAGE to stand up to the years and years of shit piled up in your head and say 'NO YOU WILL NOT DESTROY ME! I WILL NOT HELP TO SABOTAGE MY OWN HAPPINESS'.

I have gone on a bit here....I am trying to be as realistic and honest as I can about my ongoing recovery.

And admitting that I had to take responsibility for what was going on.

I hope that helps.

I am also known as a 'high functioning' Borderline whatever the fuck that means.

[gobbothegoblin]

Me personally, i take all the negitive feelings, hurt , pain, suffering and try to turn it into determination, concentration and motivation for my education and getting my health back up to scratch. Helps me alot.

-dave-

[ani79]

I think talking to somebody helps a lot. If you are not in therapy, talk to yourself like one is asking questions like the therapist would do for instance: what do you think the causation is for feeling so and so... and then you answer. Just for and to yourself. I know it sounds stupid and it takes a lot to do it but may be worth trying........

It is always good to get rid of the critic in you. Always be nice to yourself and allow you everything that makes you feel good.

I have tried bach flowers not long ago. May be it's just imagination but it helped somehow. I took it for yealousy, mood swings and inner balance.