obsessional Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 anyone had any of these? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faerielight Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 can you explain a bit more?? bluebell x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marchmadness Posted January 16, 2008 Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 Hey -If you can give us some insights as to what you are asking,that would be great.March Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obsessional Posted January 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 it all started since feeling an attraction towards my psyhcologist it made me feel gay and i'm not yet i find it very distressing. then the screwed up part is i feel alot of affection towards my bird and i think she has a nice private part its very bizzare i was seeing my psychologist for GAD (anxiety)/ depression and now its turned into OCD. i always get distressed if i see an attractive girl and i have the thought that shes a babe and it makes me feel gay i find it hard to accept that its a normal thing. it makes me feel like i'm cheating on my partner. Then i worry that if i have these thoughts will i abuse my children in the future (daughters , if i have any) and i always wonder why did i have this or that thought its crazy. (hope this makes sense) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddyM Posted December 11, 2008 Report Share Posted December 11, 2008 Hi, Im new here but can reassure you that you are definitely not alone. Fortunately Ive not had obsessions of these kind, but through reading on other OCD-forums, Ive read alot of posts that are similar. Homosexual OCD usually refers to an excessive fear you are gay, despite a lack of pleasure. The fact it disgusts you tells you whether you are gay or not really... Also, paedophile OCD is a common one in terms of sexual obsessions. Im sorry its so tough. My sexual OCDs are more to do with bodily fluids...making intimacy with anybody extremely difficult... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benaakatz Posted December 26, 2008 Report Share Posted December 26, 2008 hey everyone im also new, homosexual/pedophilia ocd is unfortunately one of my primary symptoms. it is really awful and i can sympathize with all of you. if anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with it please let me know!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hummm_mabbe Posted December 26, 2008 Report Share Posted December 26, 2008 Are you guys talking about having the sense that you feel some sort of sexual feeling towards people that you feel you shouldnt, and then getting really upset about that feeling?I get that, but I tell myself that emotions are part of the subconscious. We respond to touch, affection and certain visual things in certain ways that we dont necessarily choose to. On top of that there are things that we have been conditioned to be ashamed of - so when a feeling comes along thats similar to one of those shameful feelings, we get bent out of shape over it.For example, we may actually feel happy around another guy, but confuse that happy / close feeling with 'being gay' because we have been conditioned by family or peers, through fear and shame, to fear being associated with that. On top of this, sexual abuse or poor sexual boundaries with parents can cause an uncertainty when it comes to other human beings.Accepting the feelings that come along, and not calling yourself a gay, a paedo or whatever just because this emotion came along, is part of getting better. There is a very clear and stark difference between having the occasional confusing feeling about someone you feel you shouldnt, and actually being homosexual or whatever it is you have been taught to fear being. I actually think that the more you fear it, and are terrified of feeling it, the more often the sensation will come up as you program yourself to become hyper aware of, and so amplify, the feeling that causes you distress.I always notice that those type of feelings come up for me a lot more if I have not had a girfriend for a while, or havent had a sexie time for ages. Its the bodies natural impulses, and just because the feeling sometimes leaks out a little around inappropriate people doesnt make you bad, it just means that you have needs and feelings that are not being met, and so leak out around people that you feel are inappropriate. You have a chice whether to act on it and so as long as you dont, you are not that thing that you fear. Dealing with the shame and pain of the feeling starts however, and paradoxically, with accepting it by realising that its normal, that its part of the difficult life you have had, that it wont last forever and that its a natural part of being human. Lots of people feel 'inappropriate' feelings, they just hide them. This means that you never get to find out how common such feelings are and so see yourself as some pariah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ann51 Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 I appreciate this post, as I have had such thoughts (I also have OCD). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xamg Posted February 22, 2009 Report Share Posted February 22, 2009 Ashamed as I am to admit it, I sometimes get these very strange thoughts. I once had a full-blown panic attack because there was a knife in my room, and the same phrase was repeating over and over in my head for me to harm my partner when we were trying to sleep. Horrible! No matter what I did, I couldn't make it go away and I was the most anxious I'd ever felt in my entire life for days afterwards.I get urges to jump out of cars, I can't use cutlery unless it has a plastic handle, and I can't have any sharp objects around me because they trigger these repetitive thoughts of harming people with them.When I'm around children, it's almost as though my brain tries to convince me that I'm a paedophile, that one really is awful and deeply distressing. It doesn't happen every time - I'd say it was about a 50-50 occurrence. I even avoid images of children in magazines.I haven't discussed any of this with my therapist, far too shameful! I have also had intrusive sexual thoughts involving other inappropriate people. Sometimes it's unbearable but most of the time it doesn't really happen.Mild OCD, anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 Are you guys talking about having the sense that you feel some sort of sexual feeling towards people that you feel you shouldnt, and then getting really upset about that feeling? I get that, but I tell myself that emotions are part of the subconscious. We respond to touch, affection and certain visual things in certain ways that we dont necessarily choose to. On top of that there are things that we have been conditioned to be ashamed of - so when a feeling comes along thats similar to one of those shameful feelings, we get bent out of shape over it. For example, we may actually feel happy around another guy, but confuse that happy / close feeling with 'being gay' because we have been conditioned by family or peers, through fear and shame, to fear being associated with that. On top of this, sexual abuse or poor sexual boundaries with parents can cause an uncertainty when it comes to other human beings. Accepting the feelings that come along, and not calling yourself a gay, a paedo or whatever just because this emotion came along, is part of getting better. There is a very clear and stark difference between having the occasional confusing feeling about someone you feel you shouldnt, and actually being homosexual or whatever it is you have been taught to fear being. I actually think that the more you fear it, and are terrified of feeling it, the more often the sensation will come up as you program yourself to become hyper aware of, and so amplify, the feeling that causes you distress. I always notice that those type of feelings come up for me a lot more if I have not had a girfriend for a while, or havent had a sexie time for ages. Its the bodies natural impulses, and just because the feeling sometimes leaks out a little around inappropriate people doesnt make you bad, it just means that you have needs and feelings that are not being met, and so leak out around people that you feel are inappropriate. You have a chice whether to act on it and so as long as you dont, you are not that thing that you fear. Dealing with the shame and pain of the feeling starts however, and paradoxically, with accepting it by realising that its normal, that its part of the difficult life you have had, that it wont last forever and that its a natural part of being human. Lots of people feel 'inappropriate' feelings, they just hide them. This means that you never get to find out how common such feelings are and so see yourself as some pariah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 just read what u were saying about sexual feelings an i feel bloody terrible i cant seem to accecpt it as normal im scared to death of myself that one day i might act on my fear if it becomes strong enough or just the fact that i have to deal with it in the first place makes me feel like a paria as u put it perfect word for the way i feel by the way. its awful i get sexual feelings or thoughts when i see young children naked like on the tv or something like that, it will bee like a dull feelin or ill think something sexual an i feel discusting for it i feel terrible just writting this like my heads saying ohh ur trying to hold back, ur trying not to let go an allow urself to be a peodophile etc like my head says if i stopped fighting it i would be a peodophile i would really feel sexual about things but because i fight it i just get this dull ache not just about girls either it can come up at strang times like if i see something naturally human like a babys bum or something that can relate to a sexual feelin an im off giving myself a really bad time for ages arguing with myself that i wouldnt even feel like that or it wouldnt even be a problem unless i had a problem if u know what i mean like im completly abnormal its hell. i went through a really bad time with my son being scared that i was gona hurt him mixed wjth sexual thoughts feelings dulled down of course for a while once i had to send him away an everything coz i didnt know if i was gona act on it or not. i would give ny right arm to actually belive that these were just normal or normal for me and that they were acceptable but i see them as abnormal and something to be deblt with like a disease or something it hurts so bad an makes me feel worthless, im scared of myself my intelligence tells me its just normal but ive tried speaking to "normal" people about this an they just try to work me out, i can tel im obsesing now coz my head is feeling strained, i just wish i could belive what im thinking an feeling is normal xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 Ashamed as I am to admit it, I sometimes get these very strange thoughts. I once had a full-blown panic attack because there was a knife in my room, and the same phrase was repeating over and over in my head for me to harm my partner when we were trying to sleep. Horrible! No matter what I did, I couldn't make it go away and I was the most anxious I'd ever felt in my entire life for days afterwards. I get urges to jump out of cars, I can't use cutlery unless it has a plastic handle, and I can't have any sharp objects around me because they trigger these repetitive thoughts of harming people with them. When I'm around children, it's almost as though my brain tries to convince me that I'm a paedophile, that one really is awful and deeply distressing. It doesn't happen every time - I'd say it was about a 50-50 occurrence. I even avoid images of children in magazines. I haven't discussed any of this with my therapist, far too shameful! I have also had intrusive sexual thoughts involving other inappropriate people. Sometimes it's unbearable but most of the time it doesn't really happen. Mild OCD, anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 totally understand where ur coming from with everything i went through a phaze thinking i was gona die all the time an then other strange things now its turned to thinking im a pedo i can completly empathize with u an my heart goes out to u because i wouldnt wish this on my worst enimie to think ur gona do something beyond ur control an bein scared to death an then having to feel the shame of it just because u thought like that in the first place isant fare but u have helped me in a way just because i know im not alone in this crazy pain an world an makes me think well mayby i am ok, if im not alone an someone else is haveing identical problems with there thinking an i know how crazy the way of thinking is mayby thats all i do have an illness mayby it isant just me an im just evil or bad or a peodophile although that idea might be a little tough to get rid of considering ive thought it for years, pls get back to me coz id love to hear from u an if anythings helped or not or just to say hi lots of love xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 just read what u were saying about sexual feelings an i feel bloody terrible i cant seem to accecpt it as normal im scared to death of myself that one day i might act on my fear if it becomes strong enough or just the fact that i have to deal with it in the first place makes me feel like a paria as u put it perfect word for the way i feel by the way. its awful i get sexual feelings or thoughts when i see young children naked like on the tv or something like that, it will bee like a dull feelin or ill think something sexual an i feel discusting for it i feel terrible just writting this like my heads saying ohh ur trying to hold back, ur trying not to let go an allow urself to be a peodophile etc like my head says if i stopped fighting it i would be a peodophile i would really feel sexual about things but because i fight it i just get this dull ache not just about girls either it can come up at strang times like if i see something naturally human like a babys bum or something that can relate to a sexual feelin an im off giving myself a really bad time for ages arguing with myself that i wouldnt even feel like that or it wouldnt even be a problem unless i had a problem if u know what i mean like im completly abnormal its hell. i went through a really bad time with my son being scared that i was gona hurt him mixed wjth sexual thoughts feelings dulled down of course for a while once i had to send him away an everything coz i didnt know if i was gona act on it or not. i would give ny right arm to actually belive that these were just normal or normal for me and that they were acceptable but i see them as abnormal and something to be deblt with like a disease or something it hurts so bad an makes me feel worthless, im scared of myself my intelligence tells me its just normal but ive tried speaking to "normal" people about this an they just try to work me out, i can tel im obsesing now coz my head is feeling strained, i just wish i could belive what im thinking an feeling is normal xx Hiya, I don't have OCD or any of these kinda sexual issues, so I'm afriad i can'y comment. I'm glad you were brave enough to send your son away and i really hope you get help to clarify these thoughts in your mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 just read what u were saying about sexual feelings an i feel bloody terrible i cant seem to accecpt it as normal im scared to death of myself that one day i might act on my fear if it becomes strong enough or just the fact that i have to deal with it in the first place makes me feel like a paria as u put it perfect word for the way i feel by the way. its awful i get sexual feelings or thoughts when i see young children naked like on the tv or something like that, it will bee like a dull feelin or ill think something sexual an i feel discusting for it i feel terrible just writting this like my heads saying ohh ur trying to hold back, ur trying not to let go an allow urself to be a peodophile etc like my head says if i stopped fighting it i would be a peodophile i would really feel sexual about things but because i fight it i just get this dull ache not just about girls either it can come up at strang times like if i see something naturally human like a babys bum or something that can relate to a sexual feelin an im off giving myself a really bad time for ages arguing with myself that i wouldnt even feel like that or it wouldnt even be a problem unless i had a problem if u know what i mean like im completly abnormal its hell. i went through a really bad time with my son being scared that i was gona hurt him mixed wjth sexual thoughts feelings dulled down of course for a while once i had to send him away an everything coz i didnt know if i was gona act on it or not. i would give ny right arm to actually belive that these were just normal or normal for me and that they were acceptable but i see them as abnormal and something to be deblt with like a disease or something it hurts so bad an makes me feel worthless, im scared of myself my intelligence tells me its just normal but ive tried speaking to "normal" people about this an they just try to work me out, i can tel im obsesing now coz my head is feeling strained, i just wish i could belive what im thinking an feeling is normal xx Hiya, I don't have OCD or any of these kinda sexual issues, so I'm afriad i can'y comment. I'm glad you were brave enough to send your son away and i really hope you get help to clarify these thoughts in your mind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 if u dont have ocd an any problems with sexual issues why did u even make a comment about something u know nothing about, u saying u think i was brave sending my son away sounds like i have something to be frightened of the whole point with ocd is that they are just disturbing thoughts and its understanding that, thats all they are, i would really appreciate it if people like urself who dont know what they are talking about would just not make any comment atall as it can be very dissapointing thinking u actually might be receiving some help or identification instead ur receiving messages that might make u feel worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted August 8, 2009 Report Share Posted August 8, 2009 Bit harsh, but ok, i'm sorry. Was not my intention to make you feel worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 sorry-deleted this post. don't want to make you feel worse and i fear whatever i say will do that I feel for you i really do xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 stop being childish ok i went over the top abit im not havin a great time right now an was being really sensitive an proberbly a bit paranoid coz its not ur fault or anyone elses what might make me feel bad its just the weight of the guilt an shame im already carrying makes me feel so tierd but i had no right to take it out on u an i was gona apolidise to u anyway coz i hate falling out an i know u were coming from a good place which is hard for me to say coz of my trust issues but i apprecciate u caring to even read what ive written. anyway im sorry an u can say anything u want to me ive just been in a bad space the last few weeks xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
complicated Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 gota say it aswell ur a nasty bitch having a dig like that but there u go :)an i hate that sayin that comes up about lifes never easy an stuff its so in ur face an true but really offenceive i think espesially too sensitive people. i just wanted to say, im not bein funny xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 I've not read this post at all really but I gotta say I think we need to chill out a bit here. It is easy to misunderstand people on computer. That last remark was uncalled for complicated. Ruthie is no more a bitch than you are and she is certainly not nasty. I suggest you re-read the whole thread and take a breather. If this carries on I would be tempted to ask for this to be deleted as name calling and swearing is not good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 I don't think its fair to call me a bitch, just because my phrase is nobody said life was going to be easy or fair. Its my mantra and keeps me going. I too am a sensitive person, so if you don't like it, block me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Well said Ruth. I have since read this whole thread very carefully and stand by what I said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Complicated, i just want to explain. I try and be supportive of everyone, even if i don't understand what they are going through. i can sympathyse but cannot empathyse with you. Just wanted you to know that i care because i can see how much you are hurting. I hope you get more replies on here that can give you advise and truly help you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted August 18, 2009 Report Share Posted August 18, 2009 Complicated I hear you through all of this. I brought a similar subject up in therapy a couple of weeks ago and one girl vomited 10 times the whole of the next week, just from what I was saying. I really don't have to say any more on the subject other than there are clearly people out there with simialr issues to you and your bravery is outstanding. It takes ALOT to share such uncomfortable thoughts. Thankfully, I had raised a subject on 'thoughts' that needed to be heard and I can't go into details however it really has helped this girl to start the process of her own recovery. It is so often the deepest shame which ends up killing us because we end up feeling so alone. Well, you are not alone. We need help, all of us who are reaching out and sometimes just talking about it takes the weight and gravity of the thought away. Please don't stop talking. We can get through this together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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