I Don't Know...........

[inneed]

Morning anyone,

First post after my introduction, but feel i need to start somewhere.

Well, its nearly 7am, i've been here at work for an hour already, a full 3 hours before i really need to. But, i don't know why i do this, well i do i guess..........We're not even busy at work. The company i work for is being taken over, so i don't even know if i have a job going forward, but thats a whole other problem for me to worry about.

I get up at 04.33 and leave home at precisely 5am. I leave at tihis time to beat the traffic and reduce the possibility of me getting road rage. A thing i suffer from quite badly. I find myself having to be at certain places on my journey at certain times, otherwise i start to almost panic. If i see a car in front, i simply have to overtake it. If i don't or can't, i get angry, and end up overtaking dangerously. I drive too fast through the country lanes, trying to go round certain corners faster than the previous day. I can't even turn left out of my driveway, rather than right, just to try and break the routine.

When i get to where i park, i leave the car, which i always think will be a target for ANYONE walking past to nick it or vandalise it, and when i walk away, I HAVE TO look back at least once. More than once is ok though. Its the same when i see a group of blokes..........they're after me of course. But, if they expect me to roll over and submit, think again. I often carry items of 'self defence' which could be interpreted as offensive weapons if i was ever stopped and searched.

It like actually making this post. I'd be devasted if i made a spelling mistake..................what would people think........i mean i am touch typing most of the time.

I don't know what i'm trying to acheive by posting this, but i have to start somewhere...............

I hope anyone who reads this, has a good day.

Thanks

[Primal Scream]

Hi,

It sounds like life causes you great anxiety, Im sorry for you experiencing this , it must be really hard. I struggle with the same kind of intense panic and fears about life so I understand how you must feel.Do you attend therapy or counselling for this?

Thinking of you

Primal xx

[inneed]

Hi Primal, thanks for the reply, and sorry too that you suffer.

Sorry if my replies are delayed, as i have to do all this from work.............

I'm currently awaiting assessment under the NHS for various PD's but feel i'm getting no-where. 3 years ago i spent about 5 months on and off in a Private Clinic, where i was told i had an addictive personality as well. My BUPA cover has now lapsed as they won't cover me anymore, but all i want is to go back into the Clinic. Its safe there, and i'm taken out of life.

I feel really lost at the moment. I so need to rebuild my life before i lose my wife and kids. This obsessive behaviour just seems to be the tip of the iceberg.

[Tammy]

Good luck on ur assessment and I hope you feel better real soon.

[Primal Scream]

Hi Primal, thanks for the reply, and sorry too that you suffer.

Sorry if my replies are delayed, as i have to do all this from work.............

I'm currently awaiting assessment under the NHS for various PD's but feel i'm getting no-where. 3 years ago i spent about 5 months on and off in a Private Clinic, where i was told i had an addictive personality as well. My BUPA cover has now lapsed as they won't cover me anymore, but all i want is to go back into the Clinic. Its safe there, and i'm taken out of life.

I feel really lost at the moment. I so need to rebuild my life before i lose my wife and kids. This obsessive behaviour just seems to be the tip of the iceberg.

No worries about the delay...I'm on constant time delay and don't have work as an excuse

I hope they give you a date soon for your assessment, and then hopefully you will be able to access some help and support.

Stay strong and keep posting on here if it helps, I may not be able to offer any words of wisdom as I'm having a bit of a wobbly day, but Ill always listen

Take care

Primal x