steelflex Posted September 22, 2009 Report Share Posted September 22, 2009 i am alone right now i havent got a friend in the world hu will stop and talk me thru some things they are all to worried bout there girlfriends and college and cant find a few minutes to talk. I have reached out only to be givin the i got to go or im in a rush. Now yes i av felt alone for a very long time but now its not a feeling its a fact i have disapeared and noone has noticed. Im not rather sure what to do i mean i do no what to do now but the outcome i guess isnt dat great but i tot id come here and tell people bout this before i jumped into action Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted September 23, 2009 Report Share Posted September 23, 2009 i know its not the same as having a friend to talk to but can you talk to your doctor about whats going on? if you dont have a therapist maybe you could ask to be referred to one? i do know the feeling and how bad it makes you feel when no one seems to listen. do your friends have any idea what it is you want to talk about and how this is making you feel? maybe if they knew it was a big deal then it would make a difference? again i know its not the same but you can talk here about whats going on. take care xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 23, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2009 its not just that i have always stopped to talk when someone needs a friend or just a friendly chat ive never said oh im in a rush cant talk but now for dem its always im to busy i cant rite now or im in a rush i never got the chance to tell them whats going on and therefore have disapeared Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted September 23, 2009 Report Share Posted September 23, 2009 we may not be sitting next to you, but theres plenty peeps here who will listen to you. i know sometimes it can feel like everyone else is living their life and not noticing your sinking. when i felt that way, i emailed a friend and once they knew the script, they totally came through for me - could you try that? rael has come up with some good suggestions too. good luck x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesloaneranger Posted September 27, 2009 Report Share Posted September 27, 2009 hey steel - you have pm xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 well i gave it my best i told my friend everything were its leading and she called me and told e thats its not fair but she didnt tell me what i needed to hear and ill no what i need to hear when i hear it but now shes prob thinks i am a freak and i dont blame her at all cos i am a freak all i want is to be normal i just want it all to go away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rael Posted September 28, 2009 Report Share Posted September 28, 2009 i know the feeling of wanting to hear something but no one says it. i never know what it is but like you ill know it when i hear it. trouble is no one else has a clue what it is either and its frustrating. you are not a freak, you are trying to work something out and looking to people you think can help. its disappointing when they cant but i doubt she thinks you are a freak, she called you back so she must have wanted to help but just didnt know how. can you talk to her again? its hard when theres an expectation, i know i tend to analyze everything someone says and none of it matters unless i think its the thing ive been looking for and i ignore whats there. im sorry if thats not any use, not very good at thinking atm. take care xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 im allabout expectations if it doesnt live up to them then for me i have no interest in it at all its weird i guess but maybe its just things rarely go the way i want them to so sometimes i do with i get you know but with expectation of what is or what could be i dont no i always seem to end up being dispointed its rather confusing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiverWolfe Posted September 30, 2009 Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 I lost all of my friends when i became ill. I just seemed to lose touch, i am due to meet up with someone i used to work with but i find myself wondering if she hadnt become ill with depression would she want to get back in touch?? All i do know is sometimes people can and do come back into your life for whatever reason and you just have to be there for each other, i havent seen my friend for about 5 years and even though i'm looking forward to it i'm slightly worried we wont have anything to talk about as it sounds like she has changed as much as i have. River Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted September 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2009 its just becoming pointless i guess what im saying is for someone like me der is no help there is no happy ever after its been like this for so many years and it just gets wose it doesnt get any better. I dont feel happy cause of the help ppl try to giv me i dont feel happy when i have everyone round i dont feel happy when someone finally listens to me and im just not happy anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted October 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 ok there is one post missing from here and its one of mine now i know i didnt delete it but i need to no where it went i really need to see it i have to. doesnt anyone no wer it cud have gone or if it could have been deleted ? and y was it deleted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 Why are you still in the same loop, gloomy and sorrowful? People are trying to reach you; you seam to be very impatient, You have a degree of agitation, is it because you are not getting what you want. Stop blaming other people for your downfall; it is you that has to turn things around, we are here to help you, I’am not interested in what people do to you, or what you think they do to you, I want to know how have you started healing yourself.????? gavin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted October 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 i dont blame other people for my downfall i dont blame people for my mistakes at all they are my mistakes my scars to bear not theres it wud be so much easier if i had someone who was actually to blame for this but i dont i havent started healing because i cant i am locked in the past Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 what past, i want to know????? i want you to tell me about it. gavin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 Steel, reflecting on our past is healthy and useful but when we become trapped in it we end up stifled and frustrated. I hear your frustration and pain but I don't know how to advise you to let it out. We have talked about how you are feeling when you are at your lowest, perhaps we could start talking about some happier times and how you managed to be happy at those times???? If we can establish that perhaps we can find a path back to that place for you. How is your wrist btw? xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted October 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 Hey roses my wrist has improved its still hurts from time to time but i have to keep using it to get the tendants back fully working. Now i dont know why im trapped in the past i just am its like im holding on to dose memories on purpose or something like that but i cant forget it just doesnt happen at all. Oh maybe u cud help me out here i had a post up here in this topic but it has gone missing like it just disapeared but i need to see that post because i read what i rote then and compare to what i wright now and its really bugging me not being able to find it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 I'm glad your wrist is improving and yes tendons take ages to heall but I'm sure you'll ge there. Um, yes, I can see the post that is missing and it was a goodbye post honey. Goodbye posts are against the terms of this site, sorry. This is why somebody made it invisible, it was nothing personal, just following site t&c's. I was trapped in the past for a long time, and quite often I go back there still. I found that by talking about what happened and getting the right therapy (like you are) took time, but it did eventually help. If you can hang onto hope for the short-term I am sure the long-term will be much better hun. Sometimes it just takes someone to say the right thing at the right time, or for something to happen in your life and it just clicks and you finally file away all that loose paperwork that is hanging around. I think of the brain as office cabinets. If you don't take time to maintain them and file the memories away you end up walking all over the paperwork or surrounded by insumountable piles of paperwork all around you. Can you write down some of the kep feelings you have and why you have them? For me it would be like this: I feel scared - I don't feel safe - I didn't feel safe as a child cos of abuse I can't sleep - I'm worried about nightmares - the nightmares make me feel scared I must cut - I cannot cope with all my feelings - I need to block them out - I am worthless You could make your own list of "brainstorming" ideas. ???????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 flex would it be a possibility that you might pressed the wrong button. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted October 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 ok eh roses is there anyway that i can view that post it just i need to read over it compare it to now it might not seem that important to anyone else or that it could bring me back to that but it is very important to me that i see this post. I need to find happiness if im ever to get out of this downward spiral and right now im doing meditation to fnd inner inlightinment but since theres all them bad things they are all i can think about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 Hiya, Its up to the modererators as to wether a post can be recovered. I suggest you submit a ticket. Sorry I can't help more on that xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 I'm sorry Steel but Ruth is right, you need to submit a ticket now babe. I find meditation very helpful, but as you said, nasty little gremlins can pop up during it because your minds are relaxed they sort of sneak up on us and it can really freak you out. I have done it loads of times but each time I look at where I went in my meditation and I can sometimes work out why they came and it really helps. I avoid meditating on the image of a secluded beach because bad things always happen there. Perhaps try meditatin on a different thing /place/person. xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted October 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 ok i dont have a credit card never did was never one for online shpping so never needed a credit card i know its not much to pay to submit a ticket but i jst cant. That is my post i posted why should someone like me have to ask to see i posted i took the time to say all that from deep down what right is givin to them to take that post away and ask someone to pay money to see it i know its not alot but its still unfair on us and all of you know it ive always spokin out where ever an injustice has been commited but right now im going to stand against everyone who disagrees but those kinds of posts that we put up there are apart of us and if someone wants to see it then why the hell not. Its not right and all of you know it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted October 5, 2009 Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 Steel there is no charge for a support ticket. There is a charge for tech support but this is not in that remit. I'm afraid the post is made invisible for the good of the community. There are a lot of very ill people on here. Please submit a ticket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruth24 Posted October 5, 2009 Report Share Posted October 5, 2009 Posts are removed to protect others on the site. I suggest you read the rules and regulations. i know you are hurting, but a hell of a lot of people on this site are hurting too. The rules are there for a reason and they are for everybody not just you. Its not a personal thing against you. Please try to understand this. i too have had posts removed. i know it can be frustrating, but they are removed for a legitimate reason xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelflex Posted October 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2009 My aplogies for that outburst up there just when i had gone to submit a ticket it asked for credit info. I just thought it was a bit unfair that i had to pay unfortunatly i got confused and i am sorry to the forum for that outragious outburst and like i say im not blaming people for my mistakes no matter how little this is my mistake i didnt mean to come across angry with anyone im just really fustrated lately and i shudnt bring it to the forum members so again i am sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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