Data Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 I have not read all the posts but I share your need for validation, Ross. I often want someone to just accept my feelings of hopelessness, and I sometimes find it hard to put them into words also. I feel embarrassed when others try to help me and they can't, rather than bad. I also feel guilty, because they are often trying to help to stop themselves feeling bad. So I sometimes go along with what they say and smile, because I know th I think nobody knows exactly how someone feels, but I am not sure if that's important; we can often get close to it from our own life experience. I want acceptance rather than help also. I don't even believe my own feelings are valid, and I have had them invalidated by others many times. I have to wear a "mask" often at work. I find silence uncomfortable when with people, but relaxing when I am on my own. I am glad your T went well and you have had a breakthrough, Ninja Chips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sammy Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 lol ok - doh! I think for me I do need that validation, but if someone always validates me without ever trying to help, I think I'd feel they didn't truly care and were just humouring me. Unless they'd expressed that they wanted to help but didn't know how or something. I think it would kill me if someone said they wanted to help but there is no help for me and I'm just gonna have to suffer like this the rest of my life. Or if I felt hopeless told me yes it is hopeless. I also like to be challenged with my thinking sometimes, because sometimes it makes me explore a little deeper into why I think certain ways rather than just accept it as it is, which could be negative - my reality but not necessarily the only way to look at it. By being challenged I can sometimes change how I think to a more positive or even neutral way of looking at something - which then improves my life if only a little. Perhaps it's balance I want - I'm not sure, maybe yes sometimes challenge my thinking, but know when to and when not to (how do they know when though?) and other times just validation and a shoulder to cry on. When it comes to things I say I can't do though - to accept that without pushing me or punishing me for failure to comply. When I feel able to, I will do it, but the more I'm pushed and punished the longer it's likely to take for me to feel able to. Also, you mentioned understanding - and I feel scared of people not understanding but then I'm terrified of anyone really understanding too, for anyone to really 'get me', 'get in my head' get what I'm thinking, get what I'm feeling - terrifies me, I don't want anyone that close. The irony! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxy222 Posted September 25, 2009 Report Share Posted September 25, 2009 no... you read me wrong i dint print it out i wouldnt ever do that i took the ideas... i kno the rules of the site i feel offended that you think i would well i dont know the rule of the site so i thought you meant youd printed it for them to read, like i said i dont mind someone else reading words but not my user name hense the reason i asked. sorry i misunderstood, i just need to keep certain things very private for the sake of safety Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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