Data Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Data - For the record yeah I did read it, and that is why I made my reply to you. I didnt want to reply and not have been aware of all the facts. March Well your interpretation of it is obviously different to mine then. And I don't think mine was wrong. I think it's fair to say that anything posted on a mental health site of a sexual nature is not posted there for the purposes of turning anyone on. If that is the result, I don't think it's ok to voice it. I agree... how many times do I have to apologise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
syd Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Well lets get a few things straight. Firstly, I will say what I want on here, as long as it is within the rules, and if you don't like it.. TOUGH. You don't tell me what to do, Dice! Nodoby here 'owns' a topic. Its Josh's forum! Secondly, I don't see how my original post was cold. I am far from cold. I am full of strong emotions including lust, self-loathing, pity, anger... Thirdly, its got nothing to do with being a man or a woman. The original post referred to a consensual submission/domination fantasy. There are both women and men who like to be in the sub or dom role. I have met several people on here who this applies to. yes mate it is apparent u will say whatever u like on here despite how it may hurt , trigger or just be creepy personally i think that ur first comment was bang out of order and in my limeted experience in life would of earnt a fella a kick in the nackers by any self respecting lass it is ok to speak honestly and openly yes but it is not cool to be a insensitive jerk and talk creepy triggering and abusive stuff and to my mind the comment first posted by u was all these things and it was a very juvenile and immature thing to say i cant understand why a person woyuld say such a statement in a thread written by a girl especially knowing the place its posted steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 personally i think that ur first comment was bang out of order and in my limeted experience in life would of earnt a fella a kick in the nackers by any self respecting lass it is ok to speak honestly and openly yes but it is not cool to be a insensitive jerk and talk creepy triggering and abusive stuff and to my mind the comment first posted by u was all these things and it was a very juvenile and immature thing to say i cant understand why a person woyuld say such a statement in a thread written by a girl especially knowing the place its posted I agree it was out of order. You obviously don't understand me, that much is apparent. Thats ok, I don't understand you either. You say it is not ok for me to do these things. Is it ok for Dice to verbally abuse me, time and time again? Despite my apology? It must be, because all the moderators are fully supporting her. Lots of hugs for the verbal abuser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 I think it's fair to say that anything posted on a mental health site of a sexual nature is not posted there for the purposes of turning anyone on. If that is the result, I don't think it's ok to voice it. That makes sense... and the insult of it being taken as a turn on was highly inappropriate and completely insensitive. Shame! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Is it ok for Dice to verbally abuse me, time and time again? Despite my apology? I don't think it's ok for anyone to abuse anyone, but you're abusing her too. You called her a man-hater and saying "lots of hugs" is pretty sarcastic. She did ask you to stop reading her posts, or to stop commenting on them, and I think that's a fair request. Also, I don't think that just because you apologise, the person or the community has to forgive. Maybe people would rather see a change in your behaviour than to hear apologies for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
syd Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 personally i think that ur first comment was bang out of order and in my limeted experience in life would of earnt a fella a kick in the nackers by any self respecting lass it is ok to speak honestly and openly yes but it is not cool to be a insensitive jerk and talk creepy triggering and abusive stuff and to my mind the comment first posted by u was all these things and it was a very juvenile and immature thing to say i cant understand why a person woyuld say such a statement in a thread written by a girl especially knowing the place its posted I agree it was out of order. You obviously don't understand me, that much is apparent. Thats ok, I don't understand you either. You say it is not ok for me to do these things. Is it ok for Dice to verbally abuse me, time and time again? Despite my apology? It must be, because all the moderators are fully supporting her. Lots of hugs for the verbal abuser. data i do understand u mate i understand u all to well its not what u post that offends and scares me the its how u post it ,, and ur attitude to other ppls pain and discofort at the things u say to them openly i dont disslike u data and i dont have any anger to u ,, i feel sorry for ur lack of understanding on life and i dissike how u act i do think ur a inttelligent and clever guy and this makes me even more upset by these things and how u respond cos if u had no intelligence or low iq it wouldnt trigger me somuch im sure u know and understand what ur doing mate please try to deal with ur anger and channel it rather than just let it spill out everywhere steve and please try to think b4 u post jokes or flippent comments joke can cause some ppl some reakl pain i found this out in my kli8fe and im trying to tame it down myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 She did ask you to stop reading her posts, or to stop commenting on them, and I think that's a fair request. Isn't it just? I myself have had this problem where agreed boundaries have not been respected. Maybe people would rather see a change in your behaviour than to hear apologies for it. You've hit it right on the nail Esme... apologies mean nothing without action to change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Data Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Is it ok for Dice to verbally abuse me, time and time again? Despite my apology? I don't think it's ok for anyone to abuse anyone, but you're abusing her too. You called her a man-hater and saying "lots of hugs" is pretty sarcastic. She did ask you to stop reading her posts, or to stop commenting on them, and I think that's a fair request. Also, I don't think that just because you apologise, the person or the community has to forgive. Maybe people would rather see a change in your behaviour than to hear apologies for it. They don't have to forgive. But they also don't have to repeatedly insult me. And the moderators don't have to stand by and support them during that process. I edited out the man-hater thing because it was out of line. So it was unfair of you to bring this up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ambrosia Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Data you always play the victim,Is it cos people are not agreeing with you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bena.baby Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 I edited out the man-hater thing because it was out of line. So it was unfair of you to bring this up. I don't read the entire thread again every time I post just in case someone's decided to edit something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 I edited out the man-hater thing because it was out of line. So it was unfair of you to bring this up. Oh my god you hypocrite!!! Any chance you get to dredge up old posts, edited ones and the like you are the first to do it! For example even in this thread you have done it... If you can't see how this applies to you in the first instance then you really are in denial! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dani Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 data moderating action has been taken on both sides. its clear you are distressed right now so why not step away from the thread for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanegan Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Well, I missed the poem, but I can still clearly understand what it's about based on comments here. I have a similar poem and it basically describes me as a sex slave, totally dominated and treated any kind of way by a man. It is not meant to be a turn on at all. It is describing the pain of feeling like I'm only worth sex and that's it. It reminds me of that Liz Phair song "Fuck and Run". It hurts and kills self esteem when you feel like you're not worthy of love or being someone's girlfriend. I would hate myself and wonder what's wrong with me? I'm a nice girl, how come he doesn't see that and want to be with me exclusively? Actually, last night I was talking to a guy I found on a dating site. He bluntly admitted wanting just sex. I let it get the best of me and agreed to meeting him late tonight for that. Then this morning I thought to myself "Are you fucking crazy? Why would you do that? We've been down this road many times before and you KNOW how much you hate yourself afterwards!" I wrote him today and said "I am an amazing girl and I don't deserve to be taken into some basement and fucked like a dog. I want friendship, someone to go places and do things with. All you want is sex, I'm not the girl for you." I don't want to be that type of girl anymore and I don't have to. We have to remember that we have the power. They don't! I would say "Yes" to please a man because I thought he would like me because of it. Instead, I got a broken heart over and over again and fell into depression. I deserve much better than that. You have to believe you do. Or I could have just typed all that and missed the whole point of this thread. hahah I hope not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanctuary Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 I wrote him today and said "I am an amazing girl and I don't deserve to be taken into some basement and fucked like a dog. I want friendship, someone to go places and do things with. All you want is sex, I'm not the girl for you." I don't want to be that type of girl anymore and I don't have to. We have to remember that we have the power. They don't! I would say "Yes" to please a man because I thought he would like me because of it. Instead, I got a broken heart over and over again and fell into depression. I deserve much better than that. You have to believe you do. Pits am soo pleased you have started taking steps like this... you and I and many others here have been on that road in one way or another so you are in good company. I just wanted to say Well Done you!! You should really be proud of yourself girl... it takes huge awareness and more often than not a tremendous amount of pain to get to these realisations but boy are they worth it!! Keep up the great work and welcome here.... xxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanegan Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Thankyou so much sanctuary! I really appreciate those encouraging words and I do hope I keep it up. I realized I don't want to feel that pain, self-loathing and emptiness anymore for some guy who doesn't even know me or care about me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 Has anyone noticed that Dice hasn't commented for a long time???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ambrosia Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 yeah Roses i noticed last night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 anyone spoken to her since? xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ambrosia Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 she done a post in general apologising for this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dice Posted January 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 Has anyone noticed that Dice hasn't commented for a long time???? I had to quiet keep in the end last night, It got all to much for me, Sorry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 OK, as long as you are alright hun xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dice Posted January 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 I'm far from alrite but hey ho ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 well who is? But you are still here and that is good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dice Posted January 28, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 True very true and sorry if that last comment seems like it was only me who is far from alrite... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roses Posted January 28, 2010 Report Share Posted January 28, 2010 Not at all, I just didn't want you to feel al alonesome, I know how this illness can make you feel like that. And I wanted to say well done for still being on here today. You are made of stronger stuff than you realise. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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