My Daughter's Head Lice Card

[Data]

My 9-year-old daughter did this card for her mum to convey her feelings about her head lice infestation, explain how grandma (my mum) felt, and to give some practical advice.

This is the inside page of the card:

[Dani]

i find this really sad that your daughter felt she had to write this out.

she seems more concerned with your mums feelings than her own.

i cant imagine how your wife will feel if she reads it,has she read it?

can you not do it if its this bad?i understand your busy with your work but your daughter is oviously really uncomfatable.

[Data]

Its a difficult situation. I think I best mention it to my wife tonight, but its not an ideal time since she will be coming in from a 12 hour shift. But if I don't, my daughter will bring it up tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a very difficult day, since its the first day back to school after 2 weeks and if history is anything to go by, my son will find it really hard. And my mum says she is going to call my wife tomorrow, to have a word with her about the head lice. I expect the call will be a difficult one.

Anyway, the bottom line is that my daughter is uncomfortable which is not good and I need to make sure this is addressed. Also, what you say is right Dani, if she is very concerned about the adults in the family and their feelings and trigger points and arguments, this can't be good.

[just.me]

My friend was also my childrens child minder, over the years she cared for many children as well as her four, her children constantly had head lice and they had long hair.

She used to wash their hair everyday and when it had conditioner on use the knit comb. You cannot treat it once every two weeks, or even once a week. Once you know they are there you have to knit comb every single day.

They lay eggs and the hatch constantly. Your daughter should have her bedding changed daily too until they have gone. And use a different towel for her hair.

The lice were always gone within a few days. But you cannot just treat and leave, it is an uphill struggle and has to be dealt with daily.

[walker]

cant read you inserts so dont know what thats all about

lots of nit chemicals DONT work, even when used correctly

and the nits build up immunity to dif ones

safest method =

wash, condition, nit comb, rinse

every other day

k got them the week before she went to boarding school lol

but try to get a REALLY close tooth nit comb - ie a hairs width, as half the ones they sell are useless

and only comb a tiny bit of hair at a time

if she has long hair - part it, tie up half and work on other half

i swear the little buggers play comb chase cos we always used to find one on the very last bit we combed.

used to take an hour and half to comb properly - long wavey hair

and it MUST have plenty of conditioner in - as that makes them slip off easier

i bloody hate the little sods

ed.

we never changed bedding daily

sod that

you can see if there are any crawlers on her pillow

and just take them off

they cant reproduce if they are off a head for more than a few hours

omg the first time d had them - our whole house went into melt down

[Roses]

I think this is very sad as well and I question why you couldn't do it today if your wife was at work????

Also, I used to work in a pharmacy and the nit lotion is intended for use once, after which all the lice and eggs should be dead if used properly and although you may still find eggs and dead lice for a week or so after it is not adviseable to re-apply the lotion as it can irritate children's scalps. The only time you should re-apply after a few days/week is if you see live ones crawling. And this should only happen if they have caught them again off other children.

Personally I wouldn't let the children give stuff like this to my partner as I think it's rude.

[Dani]

she will prob catch them constantly so it is something that will have to be sorted.

i had them for ages and my mum went thro my hair every night....when she was at work my dad did it.

is there a reason your wife wont do it?if there is then are you going to do it or your mum?

[just.me]

If she has long hair, be a good idea for her to wear it up at school.

I hate the little blighters. You would get rid of them then they would come back, always happened in the infants! Ouch.

[Data]

I don't think its rude for my daughter to write this out, its perfectly ok for her to express how she feels.

I could not do it since I was not aware that she had the nits! The first I knew about it was when mum explained it to me and I was standing in my garden covered in mud and compost.

It was re-applied and apparently Adele's head was crawling with live ones.

My wife does do it, its just she does not do a very good job. It looks like its another thing I'll have to do.

[walker]

data maybe your mum could

help out with this if you wont do it

it takes patience - which i DONT have - and we often had tears - but you can sort it - without bloody chemicals

we used to send kids home until they had been treated (combed ) - but then suddenly it breached their bloody human rights or something ffs

[Roses]

I'm not against Adele expressing herself I just don't think it's very respectful and I certainly wouldn't give this sort of thing to my partner. Nits is a horrid thing but Teat Tree shampoo and conditioner will back up the nit lotion and you can use it every day.

[guntarded]

I think for the sake of your daughter, it just needs done right. If you know from past experience that your wife cannot do this properly then for the sake of your daughter's happiness and wellbeing it should be done by you or by her grandmother who obviously has some knowledge of how to deal with the problem given your daughter had to write such a personal and heartfelt plea for help.

Personally the card your daughter made is not something I would have shown to anyone or everyone on here...its your daughter's heartfelt plea for help and instead of using that as a means to think...right I'm going to get this sorted out for her sake since I am an intelligent and self aware man (as you said on many occasions of your previous posts), you think it better to put your daughter's feelings online for any tom, dick or harry to look at. The time you spent scanning that pic into the computer and placing it online with your responses and post, you could've got your daughter's well being taken care of.

You do not attract my sympathy just my disgust. You've proven your wife cannot do the job properly, but you standing by and watching it now...what does it make you?

[Ruth24]

I really don't get this Data.

Your wife missed the head lice and your mum noticed.

So you allowed your mum to treat the head lice and your daughter to write a note to your wife saying how angry grandma is??

Why didn't you treat the headlice yourself? You say your mother is too controlling? what are you allowing her to do? You say your mum is going to call your wife tomorrow and have a go at her no doubt? Why? its none of your mum's business. you have made it her business. how is yur wife going to feel?

a)bad mother

b)my partner and his mother are against me

This is something you need to discuss with your wife, not your mother. i think what you are doing is potentially very hurtfull and considering you're wife's mental health problems something potentially very detremental to her health.

[*Summer*]

If i found out that my hubby was putting stuff like this on the internet i would be very angry.

It is common,Most kids get head lice,As mentioned here nit lotions are crap,use plenty of conditioner,comb it with a nit comb every 2 days,You will find you will get rid of them.I find that card your daughter wrote to be very sad indeed.

[Barebones]

maybe it should read? dear parents could u treat my hair? this is not about u and her, this is about looking after my hair, its regardless of sex, its about my PARENTS NOT WANTING TO DEAL WITH MY HAIR.

[Data]

I really don't understand you people.

[Barebones]

why? u both are at fault, u both need to sort ur dam daughters hair. It aint ur fault she got it, its part of school.

Jesus,how hard is it to go and sort the hair out? ok mum wont, why not u?

My husband does my daughters hair, i do it when he cant, maybe take male thing and give it ago eh?

I dont get u either, told u before, in what i think u have and it aint bpd.

Oh sry, u told me once not to respond to ur post, but err u make a post about u wil post regardless as this aint our forum ect.

Well P get a grip, for one, ur mother finding nits, so fukin what,maybe stand up to her and say, WELL WE BOTH MISSED IT!.

i feel sry for ur daughter, only due to u both and err mother, in wanting to take control and snipping each other.

Get some conditioner, wet hair and start to come P, it aint hard, us mental head cases can do it.

[Data]

Oh sry, u told me once not to respond to ur post, but err u make a post about u wil post regardless as this aint our forum ect.

I didn't tell you to do anything.

But if you are stupid and ignorant enough to think you can diagnose me over the internet, then I am not interested in anything you have to say.

[Ruth24]

What do you hope to achieve by showing that card your daughter made to your wife?

What do you think will happen. Do you think its a positive thing? You are her parents, why does your mother has to be involved? If i was your wife i would feel so ganged up upon...not even husband is supportive

[Data]

I DID NOT TREAT THE HEADLICE BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THEM. I ASSUMED THAT MY WIFE HAD TREATED THEM PROPERLY AND THERE WERE NO MORE LICE. WHEN THE LICE WERE DISCOVERED, I WAS COVERED IN MUD AND PARTIALLY ROTTEN COMPOST. THIS IS WHY I DID NOT TREAT THEM.

And my mum is quite happy to treat the lice, she did a good job. The issue isn't who does it, the issue is that my daughter is saying that she is telling her mother things and she is not being listened to. However, we have an agreement now that if her head is itchy and mummy is not solving it, then she will come to me.

[Barebones]

yeah selective p, why have u not sorted daughters hair?

i heard of selective hearing, but dam selective reposting, yeah that does it for me.

Get a grip, deal with ur daughters hair it aint hard, we all go throught it. jesus kay other year had lice for fuking whole year! regardless of what i did. Its about caring, and just doing. Either way, she will get it again, so what or who u going to blame or how u going to really make ur wife un happy?

[Data]

What do you hope to achieve by showing that card your daughter made to your wife?

What do you think will happen. Do you think its a positive thing? You are her parents, why does your mother has to be involved? If i was your wife i would feel so ganged up upon...not even husband is supportive

I actually feel quite ganged up on now, to be honest. Is that your intention? Because you feel I am ganging up on my wife?

I think that if my daughter writes a card for her mother, which is not offensive, I think the positive thing is to show her the card. If there is an issue then we can resolve it as a family.

My mother was involved because she cares about my daughter, and she tends to look after them on a Sunday afternoon.

[Tracy Bundock]

This disgusts me,You expect support or maybe sympathy? you are a neglectful parent, a manipulative attention seeker, and if I knew your details I would report you to social services.

[Barebones]

OH SRY P, OFCAUSE UR DAUGHTER WOULD NOT KNOW SHE HAD LICE, HOW WOULD SHE?

THE REAL THING WITH LICE IS! THEY HAVE CYLCES, U NOT UNDERSTAND? IT TAKES LESS THAN 7 DAYS FOR THEM TO HACTCH. SO U NEED TO KILL EGGS ANDS LICE!

ffs P ur telling me u never had lice in ur life? ffs ur school should be giving out leaflets and also be telling u why a kid aint in school.

U both live in ur own world,fuk the kids eh? really? ur school would of said if an outbreak in that class, or if u have them is u tell them.

oh and u saying that u never told me not to post on a topic or post of urs, get a grip!

anyway im trying to help, but regardless of how i do it, u can take it how u want.

[Data]

This disgusts me,You expect support or maybe sympathy? you are a neglectful parent, a manipulative attention seeker, and if I knew your details I would report you to social services.

I find it very sad that you come here, a place where people need support, with such a judgemental attitude. You don't know me, yet you are so quick to criticise.