manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 argh sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 no Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 and btw nothing to do with arms for me. or legs or any other external body part mainly. but no matter. suggestions mean nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 i did not suggest anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I don't want to be made to feel like self harm is wrong. It's not wrong for me, it's what gets me through life, I have no other way of coping, if I didn't do it I would be more crazy than I am already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Hi head hurts,I hear you,for you its the only way you feel you have to cope,that certainly makes sense then that you dont wantit seen as wrong when its the thing that helps you! We dont judge that, its just that we believe it could be helpfull for people to replace self harming with other ways of coping that are maybe less dangerous and such. I understand you feel you have no other way,we could try to help you with that but thats entirely up to you if you prefer this way to cope we respect that. All we are saying is to be mindfull of what you post about it. The rules havent changed you can all discuss self harming but when you are in the midst of for instance cutting or taking an od we feel that shouldnt be on the board,we want when people are in danger they seek help and we also feel its not fair to upset other members like that. I understand this brings up a lot of discussion,were open to that and taking in all points raised. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 what was wrong with Angelus' suggestion and it means that people can still reach out for help, and those reading that section of the forum know that they themselves are taking a risk. i think it's worth considering if it means that people are less likely to die as a result. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 The forum is we believe not the place to reach out for help,when you cut or od you need to go to the emergency room asap. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 i could try to explain what its like but it doesn't look like theres any point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Im sorry you feel that way Manja,I really am,were trying to do whats best for everyone,we dont mean to invalidate how you feel about it and you certainly have a right to your opinions about it! Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 i really want you to see how its not like that, but i just don't see how. sorry. edit: or at least how without making myself a million times worse when i see the reaction. sorry its the wayit is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Well if you want to try to explain how you see it,how it is for you,Im here to listen. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 i did now, and its way too long, sorry, but i'm just a crazy irrational weirdo and i can't stand now how you see me. sorry. reason for edit: typo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 but hey i guess someone has to think rationally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BimoUK Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Just swinging by to offer my apologies. I'm fairly certain this topic has appeared as a direct result of my posting from the last couple of days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJJK Posted March 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 The topic isn't aimed at anyone Bimo - We've had a couple of people confused about what is, and isn't, acceptable. The sole intention of the post, was simply to try and help people understand and make sense of the rule. Nobody is telling anybody off, pointing fingers, reprimanding, or laying blame - there is none to lay - we're all here for similar reasons - even the mods. It is an open and honest forum, and to completely censor the issue out, would be detrimental to the aims of the site entirely, which is why we say - Past self harm and urges - please discuss and try to make sense of.  Current SH, no thank you - it just upsets people and makes them feel powerless. What's NOT being said, is that anybody is wrong - it's not an attempt to sweep it under the carpet and pretend like it doesn't happen - I'll be the first to admit that in the past, in the absence of any other outlet, I have self-harmed quite badly, so I'm not completely naive or heartless to the matter. What IS being encouraged, is finding and discussing healthier ways to process emotion, without having to resort to damaging measures - to discuss WHY it happens and other possible ways to express the feeling. Members can feel quite helpless and get very upset or frustrated, when they can't prevent something that IS happening NOW and we have a responsibility to protect their interests as well as the member posting - the last thing ANYBODY wants to see is somebody suffering, that they can't at least try to help and offer support to. At the point of carrying out self harm, you've usually exhausted all other coping mechanisms - which makes any form of assistance almost impossible. There is a lot of love and compassion on the site - on a good day, it is the loveliest place in the world to be - a big bunch of friends, all helping one another any way they can...The main ask, is for members to just be aware that other people on the site do care about them and what happens to them People will make mistakes, everyone does - we try to be as reasonable and understanding as we can be. Plain and simple, current SH posts upset a large proportion of members on the site, and so we have to take this into consideration and ask people not to tell us that they are CURRENTLY (that being the operative word) Self Harming. Kx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibley Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Why can't we just put Trigger at the top of our posts, then it is up to the individual whether they read it or not. There are posts that would trigger me, but I chose not to read them. Why can't people chose not to read about self harm? What I was saying to Bimo in a previous post was that he shouldn't feel ashamed about what he did, it was a way of him coping and better for him to do that then do something much more serious. If he felt ashamed then he was more than likely to do it again. I do it because if I don't I would probably jump in front of a bus. I'm being serious, the need to do it is so strong and the relief after is just incredible. I'm not encouraging people to do it, as it is extremely addictive. We all have our own way to deal with things, and that is mine. There are one or two topics here that I would rather not see, so I just click on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 thank you HH. i know we are fighting a losing battle, but thank you for speaking out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 At the point of carrying out self harm, you've usually exhausted all other coping mechanisms - which makes any form of assistance almost impossible. i understand that that is a complete generalisation, and thinking personally can only think that my life was probably saved because of what happened here for me. assistance almost imposssible vs a life was saved... such a vast difference. and no i'm not expecting people to be sitting here ready to save my life as it wasn't even supposed to be like that that night, as i didn't even want to be saved, but that is what inadvertedly happened. oh and i notice nothing was deleted about that. but whatever. people could have a seperate section of the forum, or make it clear that something was a trigger, but that is the choice of those who run the forum, and whatever fallout there is as a result, and however people suffer or worse as a result then so be it i guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJJK Posted March 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 The difficulty I'm having is finding where it's been said or implied that it's wrong or something to feel ashamed of? That certainly wasn't and isn't the intention of the post - is there a better way I could have expressed or relayed the information? Kx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 You know guys there is nothing against posting Im having a really really hard time now without mentioning youve just been cutting or whatever,I presume there is a reason for the sh and were alays here to help/support with that. As for trigger notices,its been discussed before that for some people its hard to then stay away eventhough they know it would upset them. Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 i did now, and its way too long, sorry, but i'm just a crazy irrational weirdo and i can't stand now how you see me. sorry. reason for edit: typo yeah don't even read what i said in the pm before going on and on. lovely. shows how much you care. forget it then. really really really don't know why i bothered. the true colours of them have really shown now. cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJJK Posted March 12, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I'm sorry Manja, I thought I had replied to your post. Kx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 i'm changing this as i don't see why i'm wasting my time on people who don't know what they're talking about but keep fecking pretending that they do when its just so laughable. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manja Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 You know guys there is nothing against posting Im having a really really hard time now without mentioning youve just been cutting or whateverLilly yeah if you say so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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