PDBPD Posted April 12, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 12, 2014 Hope your son is better Addy and you get to see the movie iLC I didn't think I have seen that film...will look out for it though Kitsune heating on in April....too cold for my liking at the moment Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Hello lovely peoples, I saw the start of this thread.... I am safe, I have been very unwell, unable to connect to the internet... I have been without internet, which meant I could not ask for support through interaction and chat!!! The irony, of not being able to communicate, when I needed, some company, was not lost on me... I have internet, all week, so will be out and about up here, telling you all how much I care, and have missed so many of you. Well wishes, moonbeambethxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Beth...you have been missed...good to see you here Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pennx Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 today, i do not feel safe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 13, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Pennx...do you have anything that aids you?? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 14, 2014 Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Sorry that you don't feel safe pennx, what is going on for you? I am at home staying in my fortress, I did not feel so safe today either. well wish moonbeambethx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 14, 2014 Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Not safe now, actually very triggered and counting out all the meds I have thanks to the asshole who decided to be cruel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Beth...fortress sounds safe Addy...please be safe...counting out pills sounds unsafe Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 14, 2014 Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Yes steve, fortress very safe... What is wrong for you Addy? you have been trying so hard to cope... Don't let someone else's cruelty, lead you to be cruel to yourself, that would be like doing the work for them! Leave the ugly to be ugly, let yourself be free from such, the memory may burn for a while, but your heart can burn bright for a lifetime... I am concerned for you, you have complicated situations, I hope this cruelty, is not so close to you now... I will try to look for context Addy, often there are situations that you are going through that I do not understand... I am thinking of you, well wishes, moonbeambethxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 14, 2014 Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Moonbeam and Steve I have tried to be safe been blocking everything on my head for weeks but it's catching up on me and I can't keep it going for much longer I told myself I wouldn't give in that I wouldn't but I will I can't even allow myself to think of my therapist and how it has all been left I feel like crap and I don't know what to do anymore I thought if I was away from the mental health team that I could just forget everything and pretend it's not working anymore. It always happens to me people seem to like to hurt me for whatever reason and it really hurts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 14, 2014 Report Share Posted April 14, 2014 Yes, you have tried to be safe, and you are here with us, so just for now, you can continue to be safe... I am not sure, about, 'people always seeming to like hurting you'...could be that whilst you are vulnerable, you pick up more signals from others, and also, there are people, that use the energy, of those less strong, to feed themselves... As you may know of me Addy, I do care, but sometimes, my style, my way and thoughts, are not useful to all. I have been 'picked on', by member's of the support group, verbally bullied by members of my community, and threatened outside my own door, all last month, not to mention the professional, that insisted on forcing me to an interaction that I did not want! It cannot be, my negativity, I am very positive most days, cannot be deserved, I have not verbally abused my neighbors or support group, so, I have it down too... People are just people, and sometimes people do and say messed up stuff to each other, especially if one person is weak or low! But I have panicked, and disassociated, and been so heavy with the fear, through these experiences, but dear Addy, Hope you will decide like I did, that I will suffer, no further, if I can help it, when the cause is outside... I stay in the light, and keep that dark and ugly, outside! Easy to say today, was really awful few weeks back! Keep strong Addy, these hurtful people are outside of you, they are not you! Well wishes for you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 Beth..well done for fighting the dark...how are you today Addy? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 15, 2014 Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 Hey lovely people, I am safe, but I am messed up today... Feel very dark and unsettled........ Keep safe everyone, how is Addy today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 15, 2014 Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 Not good Steve and Beth. I am sorry you were bullied too Beth I am at a low point today in tried so hard but just can't cope anymore x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weven Posted April 15, 2014 Report Share Posted April 15, 2014 I am sorry to hear you are so low addy2 I hope you find the strength to get through it. I to am in a very dark place at the moment im finding it hard to carry on im sitting hear in my front room my wife and boys are upstairs in bed and all I can think about is how they would be better off without me. The most annoying thing is knowing that what im feeling is wrong but not being abld to stop it feels like im a prisoner in my own mind most of the time and iv had enought of it after nearly 30 years of fighting pain and torment I feel like a husk realy dont no what to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2014 Beth...any better today? Addy...please be safe..have you got plans to do anything particular?? Weven.....they need you mate...I have been there myself...please be safe Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 16, 2014 Report Share Posted April 16, 2014 sorry to hear you are feeling the same weven. I messed up Steve and took some stuff I shouldn't have this anxiety is really scaring me now and I'm so tired with it all. I hope you are all ok xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 16, 2014 Report Share Posted April 16, 2014 Hello, Steve, I am giving this my all, I am messed up, but not, physically harming past chain smoking tobacco... I have not left my fortress, but am with a semblance of a routine, I have people out here, giving emotional support and distractions.. Lots of stuff going a little of the path.... Addy!!! I will go and look for you now, I am concerned for you... Weven, very sorry to know, the dark place that your thoughts are taking you too...We do not know each other, but I never met a wife or Child, that loved and wanted, but would be better of without...hope you can feel what I am trying to covey.... Well wishes to all, Please stay safe as you can dear people xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2014 Addy....checked out with your doctor?? Beth...well done...you sound focused Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 16, 2014 Report Share Posted April 16, 2014 I didn't see a doctor they would call social services and I would get in so much trouble I'm tired today and kind of numbed out x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 16, 2014 Addy...do you need medical help?? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 16, 2014 Report Share Posted April 16, 2014 I probably should have but it's ok now I can't face them x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PDBPD Posted April 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 I understand Addy...please be safe though Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
addy2 Posted April 17, 2014 Report Share Posted April 17, 2014 I will try Steve x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonbeam beth Posted April 18, 2014 Report Share Posted April 18, 2014 Very sick with the vomiting today, very tired, very disordered, inside, thoughts a swirling... I am safe, and will stay safe...and will come back tomorrow, to say the same...or scream for help..either way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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